Time Could Ceast To Exist REDUX Edward
by IwishEdwardwasreal
Summary: This is Edward's POV of TCCTE.  Read his thoughts of Bella after she came to find him in his self-imposed exile in Brazil.  What will Edward think of this new, stronger Bella?  Read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is the flip side of Time Could Cease to Exist from Edward's POV. I originally had it part of the same story but I think that people found it a little tiresome to re-read the same stuff over again. I think that this makes it a little bit easier to read. Edward is a bit wordier than Bella but you also get some of the hidden nuances of the story because of the whole mind reader thing. I am going to try to post these chapters around the same time that I post Bella's POV until we catch up to the new content. I hope you like it.**

**Here we go...**

I wasn't sure exactly where I was. Somewhere in South America I thought. I couldn't remember how long I had been here. I did know that I was in a jungle of some kind. I heard the screech of tropical birds and the sounds of large predators moving through the bush, seeking their prey. Somewhere to my right I could hear the clacking sounds of a colony of ants moving up and over a dead tree that had fallen about twenty feet away. The lush canopy of trees above me blocked out most of the light and it was dark and cool where I was sitting, leaning back against a tree with my arms wrapped around my knees. The smell of rich earth and vegetation assaulted my senses and I was inundated by all the sounds of life around me.

Here I could let my mind wander, to try to decipher all of them. It was the reason I had come here, to find a way to distract myself from the misery I was in. To try to occupy my mind so that I could not think about _her_. I knew though, that it would only be a fleeting comfort. There was nothing that could truly distract me from the emptiness that was my life now. That is what I was, empty. There was nothing left in me, no joy, no happiness, no meaning, no purpose. The only thing I felt now was pain. Despair seemed to be my constant state now. It was inescapable.

The only comfort that I had was knowing that Bella was safe. That she had the chance to live a full life, a life without the horror of what I was. I was a monster and being involved with me only brought Bella closer and closer to danger. I could not bear to see her hurt by my world. Seeing her broken in the ballet studio and then so pale and fragile in the hospital in Phoenix-I shuddered at the memories. All the pain she had suffered was because of me. Because of what I was-inhuman, a fiend. She was too good, too pure to have to endure that pain. She deserved to live her life without being in constant jeopardy. She should have a full life, a happy life. It was the only thing that kept me from going back. She should be happy, no matter what it cost me.

The longer I was away from her though, the harder it was to convince myself of the reasons I was staying away. I wanted her to be safe and happy but when was Bella ever safe? She drew danger to her like a lodestone. The only thing I could protect her from now was myself, from the monster that I was. But what about all the other dangers that there were for her out there? There was no way to keep her safe from them from so far away.

I growled in frustration. It was becoming harder and harder to stay away. I wanted to know that she was alright. I missed her, needed her. But I also needed her to be safe. The two needs were almost impossible to reconcile. There was so much out there that could hurt her, so many terrible things that could happen to her. But being with me, around my kind was dangerous too. Her birthday was proof of that. Not just because of Jasper either. The scent of her blood had almost overwhelmed me too. I had wanted so badly at that moment to drink her blood that it would have consumed me too if I did not love her so much. I had to stay away, for her sake. What I wanted didn't matter. If she was safe and happy I could survive. But only just.

Maybe I could check on her? She wouldn't know I was there. Just to see if she was happy. The thought filled me with hope but I smothered it immediately. No, no, no. I had to stay away. It was the best thing for her. I had made this decision and I had to see it through, for her. What was my pain anyway? Nothing compared to her happiness. I could take any agony in the world but not Bella being unhappy.

I had to stop this train of thought, think of anything else before I went insane, though it felt like I already was sometimes. My twin desires battled within me-being with Bella versus Bella's wellbeing-and my mind was becoming a casualty of war.

I tried to distract myself by thinking about my family, about what they were doing now. They were more than likely still in Denali with Tanya's family. I hadn't wanted them to have to leave everything behind when I left Forks but Carlisle had been firm.

"Edward, we are a family and families support each other." He had said. "If one of us has a problem then we all work together to fix it. If leaving is what you need then we will go with you." I could hear in his thoughts that he did not agree with the decision I had made. Carlisle wanted me to be happy and he knew that being with Bella was the first time I truly had been in over ninety years.

_Are you sure this is what you want, Edward? _He had thought. _Is this truly the best solution? I know that her safety is your utmost concern, but is this the only way? She loves you Edward and I know you love her. I can only see this causing pain for the both of you. _I hadn't had anything to say to that. I knew how much pain leaving would cause me.

Alice had been harder to convince. She loved Bella too and did not want to leave her any more than I did.

_Edward, I don't understand. I know you love her, how can you leave her?_

"I have to Alice. It's the only way I know she will be safe from what I am."

_Jasper feels so horrible about what happened. This is going to make it worse. He is going to think that you are leaving because of him._

"He knows that I don't blame him for what happened. I know, probably more than anyone except you, what a struggle it is for him. It just brought into focus all the dangers that Bella is in from being around our kind. From the first moment I realized I loved her, Alice, I knew I would have to leave her one day, for her own safety. It has only been my selfishness that has kept me here this long."

_You are the most unselfish person I know Edward, what are you talking about?_

"I _have_ been selfish, Alice. I have stayed with her this long because I could not bear the thought of leaving her. It's very painful to do it now. But Bella's wellbeing is my most important concern. I can't let what I want put her in danger again. I can't allow her to be hurt again by exposure to our world."

_What about what Bella wants? We can all tell how very much in love with you she is. What about the pain it will cause her when you leave?_

My cold, dead heart had twisted at that. I knew it would cause her pain when I left and I could not stand the thought. But I knew it was dangerous for her to exist in my world. Heartache would heal but death was permanent.

"It's what has to be done, Alice, for her sake. I want you to promise me that you will not bother her. She doesn't need reminders of me after I leave, it will only make it harder for her. Promise me."

_I promise that I will not do anything that will upset her. There, satisfied?_

She had gotten up and left then, off to find Jasper. I knew that was the only promise that I would get from her.

We had left the next day, after I had spoken to Bella in the forest. I would not allow myself to remember that right now; the pain was still too fresh, even though it had been over four months ago. Perhaps in a decade I might be able to look at that moment objectively, though I doubted it. Perhaps in a century, or in a millennia.

I had not been able to stay very long in Denali with my family. Rosalie and Emmett were off on another honeymoon and it was only Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Jasper who had traveled with me. But being around them was difficult. Hearing how careful they were when they spoke or thought to me, how they acted as if I would shatter at any moment was wretched. More so because I _did_ feel like I would shatter.

Tanya's family had been kind. They were upset about how depressed I was and had tried to find ways to cheer me up, but their attempts had only made me feel worse. There was nothing that would cheer me up and it had upset me to see them so dismayed. I'd had to get away. At first I simply ran. I came back every few weeks, to check in and let them know I was okay but being there, seeing how happy they were to see me and how terrible they felt at how much I was still suffering had been more than I could stand. After a few months I stopped coming back at all. I checked in by phone but kept the conversations short. I knew that I was hurting everyone, Esme especially, but it hurt too much to be around them.

I could see the sky darken through the thick branches overhead and I knew that it would soon be nighttime in the jungle. I got up and made my way back to the small cottage that I was staying in, just on the outskirts of the city. Rio, I remembered now. My phone vibrated suddenly in my pocket. I pulled it out and sighed when I saw who was calling.

"Hello Alice." My voice was lifeless.

"Edward, how are you?" she trilled.

The question did not justify an answer. She knew how I was. Miserable.

"What do you want, Alice?" I asked wearily.

"So I see that you are still in Rio." It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"When are you going to get tired of this, Edward?" I knew she meant my resolve to stay away from Bella. It made me angry. I would _not _break my promise.

"You're the psychic," I said rudely. "You tell me."

She ignored that. "Well, I don't see you coming home for a while, but I miss you Edward." Her voice was sad.

"I miss you too, Alice. But coming home now won't do any good, not for me or for anyone else. I'm…well I'm not fit to be around right now." I spent most days curled up in a ball trying not to think, not to feel. It didn't make me the best company.

"Well, I'll see when you change your mind I guess. Just take care of yourself, please? For me?" Her voice was pleading now. It hurt me to know how much pain I was causing her. Alice and I had always been close and we had always looked out for each other.

"I will, Alice. I promise. I'm glad you called. It is nice to hear your voice again."

"You too, Edward. Bye, I love you."

"I love you too. Bye." I closed the phone.

I sank down on the bed and closed my eyes, wishing for the oblivion of sleep. I did not move for a long time.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't know what drew me out into the open this morning. Maybe I was tired of looking at the same four walls, though I never really saw them anyway. Maybe I could not bear to be alone, with nothing to think about but her. Perhaps being out, among people with their silly insignificant thoughts swirling around me, I might have an hour or two of peace. Ha! Peace! I snorted to myself. The only true peace I had ever known was thousands of miles away from here, in a small rainy town that would forever be my home and that I could never return to.

Perhaps I could go back, I thought before I could help myself. The feeling that rushed through me was so sweet that I almost couldn't breathe. I could go back, just to see. To make sure she was safe and happy.

As soon as the thought came to me I squashed it. I could not do that to her, could not bring the darkness and horror of what I was back into her life. She deserved better than me, she deserved a normal life, not the soulless half life I had.

I walked aimlessly across a large courtyard. I didn't care where I was going or what I was doing. I ignored the clamor of thoughts around me. It washed over me in a buzz of jumbled thought and sound and I made no effort to decipher it. Why? I didn't care. There was no point to it. There was no purpose to anything anymore. It was if all the color had been sucked out of the world. I felt like a shell, as if I had left pieces of myself behind with her. Pieces I knew I could never retrieve. That I would never be worthy enough _to_ retrieve. Bella was too good to be with someone like me and I could never be good enough to deserve her.

A loud argument to my right had me turning my head without conscious thought. Just two stupid human men arguing about some stupid human concern. I didn't care enough to listen to what the argument was about. I was about to turn back, to continue my meandering path across the courtyard when something drew my eyes past them. Then I froze.

My eyes locked with a pair of wide brown eyes. The same warm, melted chocolate eyes that had been haunting me for the last six months. The same eyes I saw in my mind a hundred times a day. It was her face, just as pale and beautiful as I remembered, down to the same blush of roses in her cheeks. As I watched, her lovely full lips drew up into a smile and her eyes softened and grew warmer with welcome and I felt my mouth drop open.

Was this it? I thought. Had I finally snapped? Had I finally pushed my self over the edge into insanity? Was I so desperate for the girl that my subconscious was giving me visions? Delusions? That had to be it. There was no way Bella could be here, that she would _want_ to be here after what I had said to her in the forest that day.

I could still remember the shock and hurt on her face when I told her that I did not want her. I still could not believe how quickly she believed that lie. It still burned me like acid to think of how I hurt her, no matter how much for her benefit it was. But it was excruciating to think of how easily she had believed me. How after so many times of telling her that I loved her that she could so easily believe that I didn't want her. As if I could ever live without her. She was my only reason for existence. I would always love her, always want her.

No, Bella could not want to be with me again, not after what I had done to her. This vision I saw across the courtyard was just that. I was projecting my delusions on strangers, seeing what I wanted to see in a pair of brown eyes or a head of dark hair.

I would not allow my subconscious to rule me. I blinked to dispel the illusion then locked my jaw and very deliberately turned my head and continued my path across the courtyard.

I walked more quickly this time, though still at a human pace. When I reached the end of the courtyard, some masochistic impulse made me turn and look back, just to see if the vision was gone. It wasn't. She was still sitting there, seemingly frozen in place, her face a mask of pain and shock.

Wait, I thought. The thousands of times I had seen her in my mind since I had left she had been happy. I _had _to envision her happy in order to stay away from her. I had never envisioned a Bella who was in pain. What did this mean? Maybe this woman, the one that I had superimposed Bella's face over, was in pain for some other reason. But when I looked closely I could still see Bella's face. Was this really a delusion? What if it _was_ her? But how could that _be_? Without my volition my feet crossed the courtyard towards my vision. I stopped when I was about ten yards away. My vision Bella remained intact. Was it possible then? Was she really here? Why? How would she know where to find me? Only Alice knew where I really was. Alice! That would explain a lot. Had Alice gone back to Forks, even after promising she wouldn't? What had she said to Bella? Did she tell her where I was; tell her to come find me? Why? Alice knew why I left, though she did not agree with my reasons. Would she have interfered, put Bella on a plane to come see me? I could see Alice doing something like that, if she thought it was the right thing to do. But would Bella agree to something like that? Why would she if she thought I didn't want her anymore? Did she still want me? Maybe even still love me? Enough to get on a plane by herself and fly to a country where she did not even speak the language to find me? My silent heart swelled at the idea. How I wished that were true. But how could it be?

As I stood there, still trying to decide if my vision was real or the product of insanity, the breeze picked up and blew across my face. There it was again, the wrecking ball. It hit me just as hard as it had that first day in Biology so long ago. The scent, _her _scent burned through me like wildfire, but this time instead of thirst I burned with longing. Longing for the girl in front of me, the only girl in the world. It _was_ her. She really was here, in Rio, not ten yards from me. How? Why? What did this mean? I had to know; the curiosity burned in me as much as the longing. I had to talk to her, see her face up close. Find out why she was here and if she still loved me.

I crossed the last few yards between us and stopped a few feet away. She looked so beautiful. She was wearing a blue sundress; something Alice must have picked out for her. It tied around her neck and left much of her back bare, swirling down from a high waistline to stop a few inches above her knee. The color brought out the cream of her skin and I could remember how soft and silky that skin was. She had her thick dark hair pulled back into a soft ponytail that trailed down her back. She was the most exquisite thing I had ever seen. Looking at her face I realized she looked sad. Was it from my reaction before I realized that my "vision" was real? I could not bear to see her sad.

"Bella?" I said softly, some part of me still unsure, despite her scent, that it was really her.

Her head shot up and she turned in my direction. Her lovely face registered surprise, then relief then happiness, though there was hesitancy when she spoke.

"Edward."

The sound of her voice saying my name again sent a thrill through me.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" I still could not fully believe it myself.

She bit her lip and looked up at me uncertainly. Seeing her bite her lip reminded my just how soft those lips were and I had to stop myself from pulling her into my arms and pressing my lips to hers.

"Well," she began, hesitant again. "I came to find you, to bring you back home."

I had no words for the feelings that flowed though me. The thought of going home, of being with her, left me dizzy with such happiness that for a moment I was reeling. I pulled myself together with some effort.

"Why?" I asked.

She looked up at me from under the fringe of her lashes and blushed. She bit down on her lip again and took a deep breath.

"Edward, I want you to come back to Forks. I-well I", she stopped and took another deep breath. I could tell that whatever she wanted to say was hard for her. I could hear the sound of her heart accelerate and her next words came out in a rush.

"I miss you and I love you and I can't bear to be without you anymore. I know that you said that you didn't want me but I was hoping that maybe you might change your mind because I still want you, now and forever." Her cheeks were flaming scarlet by the time she finished and she looked down, seemingly unable to look me in the eye now that she had spoken.

For a moment I couldn't breathe. Couldn't speak. I stood there, frozen, trying to decide if I was dreaming. She was speaking the words I so desperately wanted to hear but I couldn't find a coherent thought in my head. I stared at her in shock.

She stared at me for a long moment, her eyes roaming across my face. Then she took a deep breath and sighed.

"That's what I thought," she said, shaking her head ruefully. "I knew it guess, but I was still hopeful." I saw the tears swimming in her eyes and her lower lip trembled. "I'm sorry I bothered you." She sighed again and turned to walk away.

Seeing her about to leave, to be gone from me again, unfroze me in an instant. I could not bear it anymore. I closed the gap between us swiftly, putting my hand on her shoulder and turning her towards me. I heard her gasp as I pulled her up against my body and pressed my lips to hers. She was just as soft and warm as I remembered and her lips were just as silky. I felt her arms snake around my neck and her fingers thread into my hair as she pressed herself more closely to me. I clasped her to me, running my hands up and down the soft skin on her back. I felt her breath against my cheek as I pressed kisses into her jaw, her throat, the curve of her shoulder. I could not help myself as I whispered her name over and over.

"Oh, Edward," she said breathlessly. "I've missed you so much."

I took her face between my hands and brushed the soft smooth skin of her cheeks with my thumbs.

"I've missed you too," I whispered. "More than you can ever know." I brushed my lips against hers once more then pulled her against me. She pressed her face against my chest and wrapped her arms tightly around my waist. I laid my cheek against the top of her soft, dark hair and wrapped my arms around her.

I don't know how long we stood there, holding each other. Finally I raised my head and pressed my lips against her forehead. She raised her head and looked at me. I felt all my emotions burning in my eyes and her breath caught with what she saw there. Love, joy, desire all swirled within me and I knew they all showed on my face. She brushed her warm fingertips against my cheek and I turned my face into the caress.

"You are just as beautiful as I remember, more even." I said. She was still breathtaking. "I can't believe that you are really here though. _Are_ you really here or have I lost my mind completely?" Despite having her in my arms, it seemed so unreal that she was here with me.

She laughed, a beautiful sound. "I'm really here." She wrapped her arms around me again and hugged herself to me. "Don't I feel real?" There was laughter in her voice.

"Yes you do," I said, stroking my fingers down her back. "But I don't understand how you _got_ here. How you came to be in Rio in the first place." What could have made her come here? Was it Alice? If not, then what? I had to know.

She looked up at me, her eyes cautious. "Well, that is kind of a long story and I would rather not go into it standing here. I have a room in a hotel not far from here, maybe that would be better?"

"Of course, let's go."


	3. Chapter 3

We walked across the courtyard. I reached over and drew her to my side and she leaned into my embrace. I still could not believe that she was here, next to me, her soft warm body pressed against mine. I felt lightheaded, dizzy from her presence. She still loved me; even after everything, she loved me and wanted to be with me. Being with her was the greatest happiness I had ever known and I knew now that I could never be parted from her again. I was not strong enough to be without her anymore. The pain that I felt when we were apart told me that. I knew I never, ever wanted to feel that kind of anguish again. I knew that being in my life was still dangerous for her but I could not bear being away from her. Protecting her and loving her were my two main goals now. I had no idea what the future would hold for us but I did know that there was no force on earth strong enough to take me from her side again.

We walked a few blocks to her hotel, neither of us speaking. It was a rather sad building, slightly rundown. Bella should be staying somewhere nicer than this place, I thought. We walked past the front desk and up the stairs since there was no elevator.

I could hear the curiosity in the desk clerk's mind, wondering who I was. He was disappointed to see me. Apparently he was infatuated with Bella and seeing her with someone else upset him. In his mind he replayed each time he had spoken to her or seen her. She had always responded politely but had given him nothing he could call encouragement. Seeing her with my arm wrapped around her had him seething in envy. I laughed inwardly. She seemed to bring men under her spell with no effort at all and she didn't even know it.

I resisted the urge to lift her up and carry her up the stairs but settled instead to travel the two flights of stairs at a human pace. I was burning with impatience and curiosity. What had really brought Bella here? I had to know.

We walked to the room at the end of the hall and Bella took the key from a pocket of her dress and opened the door. I followed in behind her and surveyed the room. It was not the kind of place I would have chosen for her to stay. It was clean and well kept but not nearly as comfortable and elegant as I would have liked for her. The furnishings were simple-a bed, armchair and footrest, a desk with a chair, a dresser. There was a television on a low table that was so old it looked like it should be in a museum.

Bella took my hand and pulled me to the armchair then pushed me down into it. I would have preferred to sit with her on bed. I wanted to hold her in my arms again. Before I could suggest it though she climbed up and sat on my lap. I was glad that she wanted to maintain contact with me. I wasn't ready to let her go yet either. She put her legs over the arm of the chair and clasped her hands together in her lap. I slid my arm around her back and placed my other hand lightly on her knee. I heard her heartbeat accelerate and she took a deep breath before resting her head on my shoulder.

I sat holding her quietly for a moment but before long my curiosity was raging. "So, are you going to tell me the story now?" I heard the impatience in my voice as I looked down at her expectantly. She was twisting her fingers together.

"I am not sure where to begin," she said, biting her lip.

"Well, maybe start with what made you decide to come find me in the first place." I waited anxiously for the answer. What could have propelled her to come here?

"Well, just please don't freak out, okay?"

Of course I tensed immediately. I knew instinctively that there was more to this story than I had first thought.

"Why would I 'freak out'?" What was so bad that she thought I would panic?

"You _have_ been known to in the past and I don't want it to happen now. There are parts of the story that you may not like and I am worried about your reaction. Just try and listen in an objective way, alright?" She sounded both hopeful and resigned.

I was more anxious than ever to hear her story but I knew she would not tell me if she thought I would overreact. I willed my body to relax.

"Well," she began, "I had thought about coming to find you anyway but I guess the accident is what finally decided it for me."

I went still. She had been in an accident? I guess that was not surprising considering it was Bella, but there must be more to this than a simple accident. She would not have done something as drastic as this if it had been a trifling thing.

"Accident? What happened?" I waited tensely for her reply.

"About two months ago, I was in a car accident." She said it in a matter-of-fact tone but I heard the underlying tension in her voice.

"How bad was it?"

"Pretty bad."

I sucked in a harsh breath. Bella was always so careful to downplay anything unpleasant. I knew if she said _bad_ it really meant terrible or horrific.

"Tell me exactly what happened." I held my breath, waiting for her answer.

"Alright," she took a deep breath, "Well, I was driving Angela's car because my truck was in the shop being repaired." She paused slightly before continuing. "I was going through a green light when a log truck ran the red and hit me on the passenger side. Which was a very good bit of luck they tell me." She sounded almost offhand about it.

If I my heart had been beating it would have stopped. I could imagine the type of damage that a log truck would do to Angela's little Sentra.

"And how badly were you hurt?" I had to know.

"I came out pretty well all things considered." That was all she said but she had to know that that would not satisfy me. That she was hesitating meant that she had been hurt fairly badly. She was going to tell me; I would accept nothing else.

"Bella, tell me exactly what your injuries were."

"The usual compliment of bruises of course," she smiled. "I had some scratches from the glass and some pretty bad gashes on my arms and one on my head. They say I lost a lot of blood." I sucked in a harsh breath and waited for her to finish. I knew there had to be more. "I had four broken ribs and my lung collapsed where the log hit me in the side."

"Log? What log?" I barely had the ability to speak.

"A log came loose from the load when the truck hit me. It came through the passenger side window and hit me." Her voice was calm.

It was even worse than I had imagined. She could have been killed! She could have died while I was thousands of miles away and I would never have known it. The whole time we had been separated I had been able to survive the pain because I knew that no matter what happened to me she was alive and living her life. The thought that I might never have seen her face again filled me with such pain I almost could not bear it.

I pulled her tightly to me and buried my face in her neck. "Oh my God", I heard myself whisper over and over. Feeling her in my arms, smelling her scent and feeling it burn my throat was reassuring, telling me that she was alive and safe. I felt her fingers in my hair and she was saying 'its okay, I'm okay" over and over. So like Bella to try to make _me_ feel better when _she_ was the one who had been hurt. I raised my head and looked into her eyes. She placed her hands on both sides of my face.

"No freaking out, remember? I'm perfectly fine now, okay?" I nodded my head then I looked down and froze. There were two long pink scars on her arms. It horrified me to think of how much they must have hurt and how many stitches it must have taken to close them. I pulled her hands from my face and held her arms out so I could see them properly. I knew it would take a long time for these scars to fade away.

I took both her hands in one of mine and stroked my finger gently down each scar. I was aching with the knowledge that either one of these might have been the one that ended her life. Remorse filled me as I realized that if I had never left, if I had been with her that day, I could have prevented this from happening. I would have been driving her to school and could have evaded the truck or at least shielded her with my body. Anything to keep her safe and uninjured. I would never ever forgive myself for leaving her. For abandoning her to a world that seem determined to do her in.

"Hey, I'm okay, still here and whole." Her voice was soothing. Yes, she was here and with me. I would hold on to that.

I looked into her eyes and smiled sadly. "I can't stand the thought of you being in pain."

"Well, I was unconscious for most of it. I didn't really know the true extent of my injuries until I came out of the coma." She cringed as she said the word.

I sucked in a sharp breath. This kept getting worse and worse.

"Coma? You were in a coma?" I could barely speak the words through the horror I felt. "For how long?"

"Only three days. Not long at all." How could she sound so blasé about something so serious? I suddenly couldn't wait to talk to Carlisle again, to ask him about this. While I was going over everything I had ever read about comatose patients in my head, Bella continued.

"I'm pretty sure it was Alice's voice that brought me out of it." I'm sure that she meant her words to be reassuring but I was too angry at Alice to be comforted. She had promised me! Even though breaking her promise seemed to have brought Bella to me I could not forgive her, yet.

"Alice was there?" I wanted to know the full extent of her interference. Was Bella only here because of her?

"Yes, she came when she "saw" me have the accident. She was worried because she could not see what the outcome was, what my condition was." I knew Alice loved Bella almost as much as I did; she would have wanted to make sure Bella was alright. Why hadn't she told me about the accident? Called me at least? A thought occurred to me.

"You said your accident was two months ago?"

"Yes, give or take a few days."

Alice had called me about two months ago. She had asked if I was still in Rio, though of course she would have known that. I replayed the conversation in my mind but she hadn't said anything about Bella. Maybe the accident hadn't happened yet. But why hadn't she called me after? Had she been afraid of giving something away, of letting me know somehow that Bella was going to track me down? I don't know what I would have done if she had told me _that_. Left Rio? Wait for her to arrive? I had no idea.

"So I take it that Alice convinced you to come here?" Of course she had. Alice could be very persuasive. She _must_ have talked Bella into tracking me down, knowing that seeing her would be the only thing that would bring me home. The joy that I felt at seeing Bella again was tarnished by the thought that she had only come here at someone else's urging. But as I sat contemplating this, Bella surprised me with her answer.

"No, I told you that I had already decided to find you." Her voice rang with her sincerity. "All Alice did was point me in the right direction. I didn't know where you were or how to find you and she did."

So it really had been her decision after all. She really did want to be with me, despite everything that had happened. I still couldn't believe it.

"So if it wasn't Alice, what really propelled you to find me? You said it was the accident"- I had a hard time saying the word; it conjured up too many images of Bella lying broken and bleeding-"but how did that make you finally decide to come here after all this time?"

She blushed and looked away for a moment. She seemed embarrassed. I couldn't find anything in this situation that could be embarrassing but then, I had never understood the workings of Bella's mind.

She was quiet for a few moments. I was about to beg her to tell me what she was thinking when she took a deep breath and spoke.

"Well, it is kind of embarrassing really, "she said, looking down at her hands. She was twisting them together again. "While I was unconscious I had a strange dream, or vision I guess you could call it." Her cheeks burned pink again. "It was a replay of all of our time together. I saw every moment that we'd had together and watching it I knew I had to find you again. I knew that with my horrible luck that any moment might be my last and that I wanted to spend every moment I had with you. We have not had enough time with each other; time may cease to exist before we have had enough of it."

I could not speak for a long moment; I was astounded. She was right. Her life was ruled by some mean-spirited fate that wanted to end her life. She was so terribly _unlucky_ that bad things kept happening to her and so terribly _lucky_ that none of them had succeeded yet in killing her. And she was right about something else; we had not had enough time together. I wanted to spend every moment with her, hearing her laugh, seeing her smile, watching her beautiful eyes sparkle with mischief.

"You're right, we haven't had enough time. There is no such thing as enough time." I felt her heartbeat pick up in response to my words. "I was the biggest kind of fool, leaving you, thinking that was what was best for you. And it only ended up hurting us both."

I could not believe how stupid I had been, thinking I could live without her. The world had been a cold dark place when she was gone; now it seemed like the sun was shining once more, warming me again.

"Is _that_ why you left, you thought it was what was best for me?" Her voice was incredulous and I could hear the anger. She tried to push away from me, trying to get up but I would not release her. I begged her with my eyes to stay in my arms. I sould not bear to let her go. She must have understood my wordless plea because she settled back down, though she took her arms from around me and crossed them over her chest.

"Bella, just being around _me_ is dangerous enough for you, especially as potent as your scent is to me. But when I saw the danger you were in from others of my kind-James, Victoria, even Jasper for a moment-I knew I could not allow you to be hurt by what I am."

"But-in the forest-you said…you said you were leaving because you didn't want me. That I wasn't good enough for you." Her voice was clogged with pain and repressed tears. I was filled with remorse and anguish at the pain that I had caused her.

"My love, I had to tell you those things. I could see that there was no way you were going to give in, to let me leave without you. I knew I had to convince you that I didn't want you anymore, to make you believe that I was moving on. It was the only way I could think of to make sure you went on with your life after I had gone. But every word of what I said to you was a lie. When I told you I didn't want you," I shook my head sadly, "I can't believe I was even able to say it. The words were choking me, tormenting me the entire time. But I knew I had to say them, I had to make sure you were safe, that you had the chance to have a full and happy life."

"Edward, the only time I can _be _happy is when I am with you. All the time you have been gone I have been drowning, sinking farther and farther below the surface, into despair. Thinking of you, of seeing your face again, it is the only thing that pulled me up out of it, back into my life again. Whatever danger I might be in from your company can never be as bad as the emptiness when I am not with you."

My leaving had hurt her so much. More even than I had thought it would. I had hoped she would move on. _NO!_ My heart cried. No, if I was honest with myself I knew that was a lie. I never wanted her to forget me as I would never forget her. But I hadn't wanted her to suffer either. And she had. She loved me so much and I had crushed her; I could see that now. I had underestimated her feelings for me. I could not forgive myself for wounding her so badly. I would work everyday to make amends.

I pulled her too me and cradled her against my chest. "I love you Bella." I felt her gasp and begin to tremble. "I told you that you were not good enough for me but the truth is, I can never be good enough to deserve you. I will try every day of my existence to be the man that you deserve."

I put my hand under her chin and pulled her face up to mine. She was smiling; tears were brimming in her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. I gently brushed them away with my thumb and kissed her tear-wet lips. I pulled away and stared into her face, the most beautiful face in the world, the face of the woman I would love for the rest of eternity and felt true joy and happiness for the first time in months.

There were many questions burning in me and I needed my curiosity satisfied. I pulled her against my chest and wrapped my arms around her. She sighed and nestled her face over my silent heart.

"So what does Charlie think about you being here?" I could not believe that he might have agreed to let Bella come here alone.

"He doesn't technically know why I am here actually." She admitted sheepishly.

That's what I thought. "Where does he think you are?"

"He thinks that I am traveling with Alice and Jasper doing volunteer work abroad. You know, to fluff out my college applications."

That sounded a lot like Alice's idea. I wasn't angry with Alice anymore; having Bella in my arms again overshadowed any anger I might feel about Alice's machinations. I could not believe that she had gotten Jasper to go along with her plans though.

"Jasper knows you're here too?"

"Yes, it took a lot of convincing on Alice's part. She knew that Charlie wouldn't allow us to travel without a male escort." She laughed. "Charlie still didn't like the idea of me traveling to another country though, no matter how worthwhile the cause is. But Alice has Charlie wrapped around her finger and he finally agreed."

"Where are they now?" I knew that they could not be in Rio. I would have picked up Alice's or Jasper's thoughts easily since I was more tuned into their minds than most other people.

"Um, Santiago, I think. I am supposed to check in with Alice everyday. It seems silly to me since she already knows what I am doing or going to do, but it makes me feel better to talk to her. She always knows the right things to say."

"What do you mean?" There something in her tone that I could not identify.

"Well, it has been difficult to track you down. I knew that you were somewhere in the city but it's not like I could put up signs or something. You know 'Have you seen this man'?" I smiled a little at thought. She laughed a little then continued. "And I don't speak the language either so trying to make people understand has been interesting too. But she really just helped me keep my resolve."

"Your resolve?"

"Mmm-hmm. My resolve to keep looking for you. Alice has been encouraging, telling me not to give up hope and soothing my anxiety about seeing you again."

It made me sad that I had caused her so much pain that she had been worrying about seeing me again. Hearing that she might have given up searching for me had me holding her closer. She had been so brave to come here. A stranger in a strange place, not being able to speak the language and looking for someone she thought didn't want her. I would forever be in awe of her courage.

"I'm glad you didn't give up. And I'm sorry that you were so apprehensive about seeing me again. The way that I have treated you is abominable and I can never make it up to you but I will never stop trying." And I wouldn't.

"Edward, I am just so glad to be with you again like this. I was so afraid that you would turn me away, that Alice was wrong and that I was making a fool of myself. But being here, having you hold me again, it makes me so happy. Nothing else matters except that I get to be with you now." I could not fathom how she could forgive me so completely after everything. I truly did not deserve her.

"Bella, I promise you that I will never, ever leave you again. Being without you these last months…I don't ever want to feel that kind of pain ever again. And now, after seeing you and being able to touch you and have you in my arms again-there is nothing that could ever take me away from you ever again." We sat quietly together for a long moment.

"How long have you been here looking for me?" I asked. How many opportunities to see her again had I missed?

"I've been here for a week now. I wasn't sure where to look for you so I chose a hotel that was in the center part of the city. I've kind of been working my away around, showing your picture to people to see if they remembered you. It has been slow going, not only because of the language thing but also because I wanted to be back at the hotel before it got dark. I really didn't want to get lost in the city at night."

The thought of Bella alone at night in the city had me shuddering. What had Alice been thinking! There were so many things that could have happened to her wandering around by herself unprotected, even during the daytime. I was definitely going to have a long talk with my sister the next time I saw her.

Bella continued with her story. "Then I found someone, a woman of course, who remembered seeing you a couple of times. She told me that she had seen you in the courtyard and that it was probably my best bet. So I have been camped out there for the last few days, waiting to see if you came by."

I _had_ been in that courtyard a few times in the last month. For some reason I found it calming, probably because of all the voices, mental and verbal, that washed over me there. It was almost like emotional Novocain; blocking out the pain in short bursts. It was only chance that had brought me out this afternoon though; I might have missed her altogether if something had not compelled me to come out today.

"I have a question," Bella asked, pulling me from my reverie.

"What is it?"

"Earlier, when you first saw me, why did you turn and walk away?"

Now it was my turn to be embarrassed. I didn't want to tell her that I thought she was a figment of my imagination, that I had thought I was hallucinating, but I owed her honesty.

"To be truthful, I didn't think you were real." I said sheepishly  
"Really?" She sounded surprised and incredulous.

"Yes. I thought that my imagination had run away with me, giving me delusions. I thought that because I was so desperate to see you again that my brain was giving me visions of your face to appease me." It sounded silly to me now but it had been the only explanation I had been able to come up with at the time. The reality-that Bella would be here looking for me-would never have occurred to me in a million years.

She sat there, shaking her head. Then she giggled.

"Are you laughing at me?" I pretended to scowl at her.

"It's just funny because I was kind of thinking the same thing when we were talking before. I was worried that you would disappear." She giggled again.

"Not a chance. You are stuck with me now." I was smiling but I meant every word.

She smiled too. "You're damn right I am. I've followed you this far and you are not going to get away." She reached up and kissed the underside of my jaw. I could not resist. I bent my head down and pressed my lips to hers. I didn't think I would ever get enough of kissing her. My hand slipped behind her head, down to the soft skin at the nape of her neck and I held her to me. She responded by wrapping her arms around my neck and threading her fingers into my hair. We kissed for a long moment then I released her. I could feel myself getting carried away and I had to stop myself before the temptation became too much for me. She wrapped her arms around me and nestled against me, sighing in contentment.

We sat for a long moment and then I heard her stomach grumble. I had forgotten that she needed to eat more often that I did.

"Dinner time for the human?" I asked.

"I suppose so. I don't remember the last time I ate." I would have to be more careful to make sure she was taking care of herself. I did not want her to become ill.

"Well that won't do. Let's go get you something to eat." I slipped my arms underneath her and lifted her up, standing as I did so. I stared down at her. I could not believe how much difference a few hours could make. I had started out the day in such deep despair and now it felt like I could take flight with pure joy. Having her here, in my arms again was staggering. I had expected to spend the rest of my life alone, without her, and now I had been given a second chance. I would always be grateful for that.

She looked up at me, wondering why I had not moved. Her eyes warmed when she saw my expression.

"You don't know how happy it makes me, having you in my arms again. I had thought I would never see you again and now to be able to hold you again….I can't even find the words to describe it." I kissed her softly before lowering her to the ground. She wrapped her arms around me as soon as her feet touched the floor.

"I feel the same way. I have missed having you hold me and I thought I would never be able to feel your arms around me again. Now I feel like a kid on Christmas morning." She laughed.

She was so adorable. I bent and kissed her nose and then pulled her arms from around me and took her hand. "Come on, let's go get some food into you."

We made our way outside. I could feel Bella move a little closer to me. I was glad that she'd had enough common sense not to leave her hotel at night. There were so many dangers out here for her. I knew that even without reading the thoughts of the people coming out of the cantina.

A man tottered towards us and I stiffened as I read his thoughts about Bella. Revolting. I was glad that Bella did not understand Portuguese when he spoke.

"You are so beautiful. Come with me my sweet and I will show you many wonderful things. Your body will sing when I am done with you" He leered at her and I read in his mind the disgusting images of exactly what he wanted to show her.

"The lady is with me," I growled back at him in Portuguese. "If you want to continue breathing I suggest you remove yourself from here. Stay and they will not be able to identify your body as human when I am done with you."

The man looked at me for the first time and saw the deathly fury in my eyes. He backed away quickly and crossed the street away from us, fleeing into a cantina.

"What was that all about?" Bella asked. I took a deep breath and forced the fury from my body. I didn't want to scare her. I smiled down at her.

"Just another man who can't help but find you irresistible." I laughed at the expression on her face. Would she never understand the magnetic pull she had to all things male? "I just made sure he understood that you were taken."

She laughed and eyed me skeptically. I had forgotten how perceptive she was.

"Okay, but next time try not to scare them so badly." She laughed.

"Next time?" I knew there would be a next time too. She was too beautiful for her own good. Or mine for that matter.

"Well you said yourself I am _sooo_ irresistible." She looked up at me and batted her eyelashes at me in an overly flirtatious way.

I laughed. "Indeed you are." I knew I would never be able to resist her again and I bent to kiss her.

We made our way to a small restaurant at the corner and found a table. I helped her translate the menu and gave the waitress her order. I could not keep my eyes off of Bella. Her skin seemed to glow in the soft light of the candle on our table. I thought to myself that I could travel the whole world and never see a more beautiful sight. She reached across the table and took my hand. Her hand was warm in mine and I could not resist bringing her hand to my lips. Her skin was so soft. I lowered our hands back to the table.

"So what are our plans from here?" she asked. _Our plans. _The words delighted me and I smiled at her.

"I was thinking we could spend a few more days here, give you a chance to really see the sights, before going to see my family in Denali. We can spend a couple of weeks with them before we have to be back for the start of school." Even though I hated having to go through high school over and over, knowing I could see Bella everyday made it worth it.

I looked at her and realized that there were tears in her eyes. Had I said something wrong? Did she want to stay here? Would she rather go straight home?

"Bella? What's wrong? We don't have to go to Denali if you don't want to," I hurried to reassure her, "we can stay here or I can take you back to Forks or-." She cut me off before I could finish my sentence. I would give her anything she wanted; all she had to do was ask.

"No, I want to see your family again. I was just starting to realize that I really do get to be with you, that's all." She dabbed at her tears and gave me a beautiful smile.

I smiled at her tenderly. I could not believe that I was lucky enough to be with this amazing woman.

Bella ate and we paid the check and left. I walked with her, hand in hand, back to the hotel. Back in the room Bella went to the nightstand and pulled out a cell phone.

"I have to call Alice, "she explained. "Of course she already knows what is going on but if I don't call she gets upset."

She dialed the number and Alice picked it up after only one ring. I could hear Alice's trilling voice on the other line.

_Bella!_ She said. _You found him! I'm so glad! Jasper and I will be there in Denali when you get there Friday. I am so happy! Bella you are the best sister anyone could ever have! Thank you so much!_

"Hello Alice," Bella said dryly. They were the first words she'd had a chance to say. "I'm happy too. And we will see you in Denali I guess." She laughed. "Tell Jasper I said hello. You know, I just realized I haven't seen him in over six months? I am going to have to come up with some Jasper and Bella stories to tell Charlie so he won't be suspicious. And since I know you won't be able to keep it a secret, tell Carlisle and Esme and everyone else that I said hello."

_I will Bella. See you soon! Bye! _

Bella closed the phone, shaking her head and laughing. "Alice."

I thought about something she had said.

"I thought Jasper and Alice both brought you here."

"No, Alice flew with me to the airport here, and then she got on a different plane to go meet Jasper in Santiago."

"Why didn't they travel together?" It seemed strange to me for them to take two different flights.

"I don't know. I wondered about it too but Alice just said that Jasper had gone on ahead to get things ready." She shrugged.

That excuse sounded flimsy to me and I thought I knew why Jasper would not want to travel with Bella. After the incident he had been very upset. He was mortified that he might have actually killed Bella and angry with himself for losing control. After we had left Forks he had worried that I would blame him for everything that had happened. I didn't and I had told him that but I could imagine that he did not want to see Bella right now and be reminded. I hoped that he would be able to get over it soon. I hated the thought of him suffering so much and Bella was going to be around more often. If he was torn up by guilt it would make things very uncomfortable for him.

"So according to Alice we are going to be in Denali on Friday." Bella said, pulling me from my reverie. "That gives us two more days before we have to leave."

"Yes, I plan on showing you some of the local culture before we go. I will call the airlines to see what flights they have open. Though I am willing to bet there is a flight out on Friday." I laughed. If Alice said we would see her on Friday then there was a flight, guaranteed.

"Alright," she said. "While you do that I will go ahead and take a shower." She kissed me on the cheek before retrieving her bag of toiletries and some pajamas from a drawer.

She closed the door of the bathroom and I pulled my phone out of my pocket. There was a call I wanted to make before I called the airlines. I dialed the number and he picked up on the second ring.

_Edward_, Carlisle said. _I am glad to hear from you again, son. How are you?_

"Better than I have been in a long time."  
_Yes, Alice called and told us. I am so happy for you Edward. And Bella too._

"Thanks Carlisle. You were right. Being apart only hurt the both of us. But we are together now and that is all that matters. According to Alice we are going to be there on Friday so we will see you then. Please give my love to Esme.

_I will. And tell Bella that we look forward to seeing her again. She has brought you back to us and we can never repay her for that. We will see you soon._ He hung up.

I called the airlines and arranged a flight out for Bella and me on Friday morning. I could hear the water being turned off in the shower and I sat down on the bed to wait. As I sat there, I contemplated what Carlisle had said. We all, myself included, owed Bella a huge debt of gratitude. If not for her strength I would still be wallowing in despair and still hurting my family with my absence. She had brought my family back together and I was very thankful.

Bella opened the door to the bathroom and steam came flowing out into the room. Her scent was magnified by the warm water but the ache in my throat was very dull. I did not crave her blood with the same madness I once had. I wondered why that was. I did not have much time to think about it though. Bella came out of the bathroom and when I looked at her all my thoughts were driven from my head.

She was wearing a silky camisole top and shorts set. It was in a beautiful shade of periwinkle blue. Her long dark hair was around her shoulders and her skin was slightly pink from the hot water. She was absolutely breathtaking. She caught me staring at her and blushed. The color of her skin was gorgeous. I had to clear my throat before I could speak.

"I don't think I have ever seen you wear that before." My voice sounded husky even to me. I cleared my throat again.

She blushed a brighter pink. "No, it is new. Alice stole all my clothes and replaced them with new ones."

I would have to find a way to thank Alice one day.

She pulled back the blanket on the bed and lay down next to me. By necessity we kept the blanket between us; my skin was so cold she would have been freezing otherwise. But I compensated by pulling her up against me. I stroked her damp hair from the top of her head to her waist. She laid her arm over my stomach and snuggled up to my chest.

"Were you able to find a flight out?" she asked.

"Yes, for Friday morning. I also talked to Carlisle and they are expecting us."

"I've missed him and Esme," she sighed. Then she yawned.

"Okay," I said, "time to sleep." I reached over and turned off the lamp beside the bed.

"Edward?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Will you kiss me goodnight?" How could I deny such a request?

"If I must," I pretended to sigh.

She lifted her head and I pressed my cold lips against her warm soft ones. I felt her heartbeat start to pick up and she reached up and traced the line of my jaw with her fingertips. I pulled her more tightly to me and kissed her more urgently. I reached into the soft mass of her still-damp hair and held her in my kiss. She felt so good against my body. Her fingers tunneled into my hair. I could feel my control starting to slip. I had been away from her too long and my self-control was hanging only by a few threads. I knew I had to stop this before either of us got too carried away. I could not live with myself if I ever hurt her. I gentled the kiss and disentangled her from my hair. She gave a soft groan of disappointment. I understood exactly how she felt.

"Alright, time for you to rest." She pouted at me and I had to laugh at her expression. "I know, my love, but I only have so much self control. Now get some sleep."

She sighed and lay back down next to me. I started to hum her lullaby to her and she soon her eyes began to drift closed. Her breath became more even and she was soon asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

We spent the next two days exploring the city. Bella was fascinated by the native customs and by the locals in native dress. We wandered through an open market and she was delighted by all the different and varying wares offered by the street vendors. There were exotic fruits and vegetables on display as well as various animals-birds, monkeys, even some fish-and Bella was captivated by them.

She bought a few souvenirs to bring home for Charlie. At night I took her through the streets to witness some of the native festivals. The city at night teemed with life and Bella drank it all in.

Seeing everything through the filter of Bella's eyes gave me a greater appreciation of the city than I had ever had before. Her enjoyment of her surroundings, hearing her gasps of delight at things that were new to her made me glad to be able to give her these experiences. I wanted to give her more times like this, to see the whole world again through Bella's eyes. I wanted to give her everything.

Each night she fell asleep in my arms and I wished that Friday would never come. Having Bella all to myself made me loath to share her with others again. But Friday morning came too soon and we made our way to the airport. Bella seemed quiet on the plane.

"Are you okay?" I asked. For the millionth time I wished I could read her mind.

She looked up at me and smiled. "Yes, it's just kind of sad, leaving Rio. It felt like we were in our own little bubble and now I have to share you with everyone else. But I am glad that I got to make so many new memories with you." She kissed my cheek and smiled again.

"I was thinking the same thing. Like we were the only two people in the world." I rested my cheek against the top of her head and we sat in silence for a long time.

Bella fell asleep on the plane and I woke her up before we landed. The plane set down in Juneau and we rented a car to make the drive to Denali. Bella spent most of the ride looking out the windows. I saw her twist her hands occasionally in her lap.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"Just thinking about seeing your family again."

"Why does that worry you?" I could not understand why she would be apprehensive to see my family. They loved her.

"Do they blame me? You know, for everything that happened? If it hadn't been for my birthday none of this would have happen-." Her words were cut off suddenly as I whipped the car to the side of the road and slammed to a halt.

I took her face in mine and forced her to look in my eyes.

"Don't ever, ever blame yourself for what happened Bella! Do you hear me?" How could she even be thinking such a thing? She nodded in my hands.

"You did absolutely nothing wrong. If there is anyone to blame in all of this, it is me." She opened her mouth to speak but I cut her off.

"Shhh! Listen to me. I am the one who caused all this pain-for you, for me, for my family-by leaving in the first place. I wanted so badly to keep you safe, for you to be happy that it blinded me to how much it would hurt the both of us." I shook my head; she should never feel to blame for what happened, ever.

What happened on your birthday was an accident and I blew everything out of proportion. I thought I was doing the right thing and there was nothing in the world that would have been able to change my mind. But don't ever take this on yourself, okay?" She nodded again. I gently kissed her lips then pulled her across the console of the car and held her to me.

It never occurred to me that she would think _she_ was to blame for any of this. Of course, knowing Bella I should have expected it. She was ever the martyr. But I could not allow her to shoulder this responsibility. This one was mine to bear. She had borne so much already and it was all my fault.

"I will never be able to apologize enough for what I put you through and I will never stop trying to make it up to you."

"Just having you with me now is enough." She said softly. I shook my head and kissed her forehead.

She was wrong. I had hurt her so much. I would do everything in my power to make sure that she was happy from now on. It would be my mission, my purpose in life.

I released her and put the car in gear and pulled back onto the highway. I reached over and took her hand in mine. We drove in silence again but it seemed like she was more relaxed, though still deep on thought.

We pulled up in front of Tanya's house a few hours later. Alice was outside and down the stairs before we were able to get out of the car. She flitted up to me first and practically jumped into my arms to hug me fiercely.

"Edward!" she trilled. "I'm so glad to see you! It has been too long since I saw you last. You look so much better, happier." _Of course you do, you have your Bella back!_

There was no way I could stay mad at Alice. She had given me back everything I had ever wanted. I hugged her back just as tightly.

"I'm glad to see you again too, you little pixie." I grinned at her. She grinned back then released me.

She turned to Bella and hugged her too, though not nearly as hard as she had hugged me. It would have crushed Bella's bones if she had.

"Bella! I am so glad you did this. And you are wearing the clothes I bought you too!" She sounded almost as happy about that as seeing me again. The pink dress Bella wore was something she never would have picked herself but it suited her perfectly. She was stunning. Of course I always thought that.

Bella scowled at her. "You really didn't give me much choice, did you Alice? Since you stole all my clothes? It was wear these or nothing at all."

I tried to push _that_ image out of my mind. Thinking about Bella with no clothes on-well it didn't exactly help my concentration any.

"I had to Bella," Alice said. "Everything you packed was so _boring_. I knew you would want to look dazzling when you saw Edward again." Bella looked at her, exasperated.

"Let's go inside," I said. I could hear the anxious thoughts of my family.

Alice led the way up the porch stairs and into the house. My family was waiting for us in the living room. Carlisle and Esme were standing together next to a large couch, Jasper was leaning up against the wall and Rosalie and Emmett were standing near the staircase. I was surprised to see them; I had thought they were still in Africa. I heard everyone's thoughts as we walked in.

_He looks so happy again_-Esme

_I knew she would be good for him. He looks more at peace than I have seen in a long time_-Carlisle

_About time he stopped looking like he wants to leap off a bridge or murder everything in sight_-Emmett

_I still don't know what he sees in her but at least he is happy again-_Rosalie

Jasper's thoughts surprised me the most. I saw in his mind what he wanted to do and when he caught my eye I nodded slightly in his direction. He relaxed immediately.

Tanya and her family were standing off to the side. I felt them looking at Bella with curiosity.

"Edward! It is so good to see you again, son." _You look so happy! I've missed you so much! We can never thank Bella enough for bringing you back to us._ She came forward and hugged me very tightly. She looked like she would be crying if such a thing would have been possible. I felt horrible for having put her through so much worry about me.

"I'm glad to see you again too, Mom." I grinned at her and she gasped in delight. She turned to Bella, who was standing next me.

"Bella, thank you so, so much for what you have done. It means so much to all of us to have Edward back with us and it is all because of you." She gently kissed her on the forehead before hugging her tightly. Bella blushed bright red.

"I'm glad to see you again too, Esme. I've missed you." _She doesn't even realize what a wonderful thing she has done!_ Esme hugged Bella tighter.

Carlisle approached me and gave me a firm hug. _Glad that you are back with us, son._ He thought. _You have made all us very happy again._

He too turned to Bella and hugged her as well. "Thank you for giving us back our family, daughter." _She's part of this family now, Edward. Don't let her get away again. _I saw Bella's eyes fill with tears but she blinked them back.

"Thanks, Carlisle. It's good to see you again.

I squeezed her hand encouragingly and she smiled up at me. Esme's thoughts were joyous when I smiled back. She had thought I would never smile again. Neither had I for that matter.

"About time you showed up again Edward," Emmett's voice boomed across the room. _Good to see you so happy, bro. _

"You too, Bella." _She's a lot stronger than you thought she was isn't she? Going to get you like that took a lot of guts. _He winked at her and she giggled.

Rosalie didn't say anything but she smiled at me and Bella. She had never been demonstrative to either Bella or me but I could hear in her thoughts that she was glad I was home too.

Alice had gone to stand next to Jasper and was now gently pushing him forward. He approached us carefully and I could feel everyone tense with reaction. I held out my arms to him and took him in a bear hug.

_Thanks brother. _Everyone relaxed and Emmett laughed his booming laugh. I let go of him and he looked at me speculatively. _Is it alright?_ He thought. I nodded to him and he turned to face Bella. I felt everyone tense again.

He looked down at Bella apprehensively. She did not look nervous or scared. In fact she smiled shyly up at him. He reached down and took one of her hands in his.

"Bella, I am so very sorry for what happened on your birthday. I swear to you that I will never ever hurt you. Can you ever forgive me for what happened?" I saw him shift his feet nervously, awaiting her answer. _Please?_ He thought. Her forgiveness meant a lot to him, even though he didn't really think he would get it.

Bella took his hand in both of hers. "I forgave you the moment it happened, Jasper. I know that you would never harm me. Please don't give it another thought." Then she reached out and hugged him. I felt the shock of it go through everyone in the room. This was not the reaction they had expected. But they didn't know Bella.

Jasper was more shocked than anyone else. He had thought that Bella would hate him for everything that had happened on her birthday and afterwards. For her to forgive him so freely astounded him.

"Welcome back to the family, little sister." Jasper said. I could feel the waves of relief and elation pouring out of him and into the room. Bella looked up at him and grinned, tears in her eyes.

I could feel the speculation in Tanya's family and turned to make the introductions.

"Bella, this is Tanya, Irina, Kate, Carmen and Eleazar. They are our other family."

Bella nodded shyly at them and they came forward individually to introduce themselves.

"I'm Irina and this is Kate," she said, motioning to her sister. _She is very pretty_, Irina thought. _But she looks scared. It can't be because we are vampires. She must be shy. _"It is very nice to meet you at last." Bella nodded slightly. _Poor girl_, Kate thought, _she seems so shy. But sweet. Edward, it is wonderful to see you smile again. I thought you forgot how._ I smiled at her.

"And I am Carmen and this is Eleazar. It is a pleasure to meet you. We have heard much about you from Carlisle and the rest of the family." Bella blushed crimson at her words and they stared at her, bemused. _What a strange reaction_, Carmen thought. _She doesn't look like she likes to be the center of attention, _Eleazar thought. I guess no one had told them how averse to attention Bella was.

Tanya approached last. She looked at Bella inquisitively_. I suppose she is pretty_, she thought. _But I can't believe that _she_ is what all the fuss was about_. I stiffened and Tanya looked at me sheepishly. _Sorry_, she thought. Tanya had made it clear to me a long time ago that she wished that we could be more than friends. I had gently refused but I knew she still thought about it. She could not understand the attraction that Bella had for me, despite the same kind of attraction that human men had for her.

"I am Tanya," she said to Bella now. "We are glad that you are here, you have made Edward very happy again." _Of course, I could have made Edward happy to…_her thoughts turned to all the ways she wanted to make me happy and I blocked them from my mind and then turned my attention to Bella.

"It is very nice to meet all of you as well." Bella said. She was staring in wonder at the group. She looked up at me and I could read the uncertainty in her eyes. She was uncomfortable around all these new people and the attention she had received from my family had embarrassed and bewildered her.

"Let's all sit down and talk," I suggested.

We all went to sit down on the couches in the living room. I was glad the room was so spacious. Bella sat next to me on my right. Esme sat on my left and put her arm around my shoulder and onto Bella's. To my surprise, Jasper sat on the other side of Bella and he reached out and took her hand in his. Bella looked surprised too but not uncomfortable. I was glad that Jasper had been able to finally forgive himself. Bella's complete understanding and forgiveness of him had gone a long way in helping their relationship. Alice sat on the arm of the couch next to Jasper and everyone else seated themselves on the various other couches and armchairs.

Carlisle was the first to speak.

"So what are your plans now Edward?" he asked.

"Well, Bella has to be back for the beginning of the school year in three weeks. I plan on going back to finish out our senior year in Forks."

Bella leaned against my shoulder and took my hand in hers. I could feel the contentment radiating out of her. I knew Jasper felt it too.

_You two are so full of happiness I am surprised you can contain it all_, Jasper thought.

I grinned at him. I _was_ full of happiness-happy to be with Bella, to be with my family, to finally have something to live for again.

I brought my Bella's hand to my lips. _Ugh Edward, how cheesy can you be? Kiss her the right way already_, Emmett thought. I rolled my eyes at him.

"That is excellent, son. I will call the hospital and let them know that I want to come back. I don't think it will be a problem." Carlisle said.

"I doubt it," Rosalie put in, speaking for the first time. "You are the best thing that ever happened to that dinky little town. If they didn't welcome you back with open arms I would have some serious doubts about their mental capacity."

Everyone laughed.

"I'm curious, Bella. How were you able to find Edward in a city as big as Rio?" Esme asked.

Bella blushed as twelve pairs of vampire eyes focused on her.

"It was just luck, really. I had a picture but I don't speak a lot of Spanish so getting people to understand what I wanted them to was kind of hard." Emmett laughed out loud and Bella smiled at him.

"I hope you didn't get too lost, little sister," Emmett teased.

Bella blushed again. "Well," she said sheepishly, "a couple of times." Emmett almost fell out of his chair laughing and Bella joined in with everyone else.

I didn't find it quite as funny and turned to glare at Alice. She knew what I was thinking.

_I know, I know. But she was fine, really. I told her not to go out at night unless it was an absolute emergency. And I stayed in Rio for a few days to make sure she was okay, she just doesn't know that. I only left when I saw that her path was going to intersect yours. She was completely safe._ I was mollified, for now.

Bella was speaking again. "I was lucky to find a woman who spoke English and who remembered seeing Edward. She told me where I was likely to find him and I waited for him. Then he showed up. That's all, really."

There was much, much more to it than that but neither Bella nor I wanted to reveal anymore about our reunion. Rio was our special place now and it was no one else's business.

Tanya spoke suddenly. I hadn't been focusing on her and her words took me by surprise. "Bella, I'm curious, what caused you to go find Edward in the first place? We have all heard the story of what happened between you and Edward and I am surprised that you would do something like that after the way you were treated. It couldn't have been easy to go after him when he rejected you like that."

She had a smug look on her face and I felt the maliciousness behind her question in her mind. She wanted to remind Bella how much I had hurt her. She still thought she might have a chance to change my mind. Unbelievable.

I felt Bella stiffen by my side and her hand clenched mine in reflex. I saw her cheeks burn cherry red and I knew she was embarrassed that strangers seemed to know all about what had happened between us. I growled softly at Tanya.

I saw Esme's head whip around in Tanya's direction. _How dare she say something like that? How cruel!_

Jaspers thoughts were running in the same direction. _There is no reason to bring that up again! Especially when it is such a sore spot with all of us. How can she be such a bitch? Just because Edward prefers Bella to her. That's just cruel!_

Carlisle broke the uncomfortable silence. "Tanya, there is no reason to get into that. What's done is done and Bella's reasons are her own. We are just so happy to have _both_ of them back with us." I liked the way he emphasized _both_.

"Let's focus on the family being whole again and forget the rest." _And stop trying to hurt my family._ I heard him think angrily. _We are just getting everything back together and you will _not _tear it apart! _I was shocked by the vehemence in his thoughts. Carlisle was always so calm, even in his mind. To hear how angry he was inside at Tanya's machinations gave me a new respect for him.

"So, Bella," Alice said, "do you want to go shopping with me when we get back to Forks? You are going to need all kinds of new stuff to start the school year."

Bella groaned in dread at the thought. I knew that they very last thing that she wanted, other than being apart from me, was to go shopping with Alice.

"I have plenty of clothes, Alice." Bella sighed. "Or at least I did until you stole them all."

Everyone looked at Alice, who did not look chagrined in the least, and laughed.

"You stole her clothes?" Rosalie asked, shaking with laughter.

"Well, everything she packed was so unstylish and boring. I knew she would want to knock Edward's socks off when he saw her again." Bella's cheeks reddened. "And it obviously worked because here he is."

I shook my head and laughed. There were a few outfits that I had been glad Alice had slipped into Bella's luggage-those blue pajamas especially-but I would gladly burn to a pile of ash before I ever, ever told Alice that.

"Thanks a lot, Alice. Good to know how boring my clothes are. What did you do with them anyway, after you snuck them out of my suitcase?"

Alice looked sheepish now. I read what she was thinking and barked out a laugh before throwing my hand over my mouth. My hand tightened on Bella's; she was not going to like this.

"Well, really Bella, everything you had was so two years ago, and I knew that you could look so amazing in some of the newer fashions. I will help you pick out plenty of new stuff and you will never miss the old ones."

"Miss them? Alice, what did you DO?" Bella was yelling now. Emmett was laughing so hard he could not take a breath.

"Well…I kind of…well… gave them to charity." Alice cringed.

"WHAT? ALICE! HOW COULD YOU?" Bella was screeching now. I was trying to whisper calming words in her ear and Jasper was sending wave after wave of calm in her direction. It didn't seem to be helping. She was shaking with anger and her fists were clenched tightly, including the one holding mine.

"I will buy you brand new ones, Bella, I promise." Alice exclaimed. "You will never miss your old ones, really." She was pleading now.

Bella was seething next to me and I could see she was doing everything possible to calm down. I nodded at Jasper and he sent another flood of peaceful feelings her way. It seemed to work better this time but I could see she was not able to speak yet. There were angry tears in her eyes.

Esme was reproachful. "You should not have done that, Alice. Bella has a right to wear whatever she feels comfortable in. Giving away all her clothes was inexcusable."

Alice hung her head. She did feel bad, though more about Bella's reaction than about giving away her clothes. She was excited about shopping for new ones for her. I knew that to Bella, shopping with Alice was like descending into the seventh circle of hell.

I rubbed my hand up and down Bella's back and she looked up at me. She was very unhappy about this but she was trying to be calm. She didn't want to continue to make a scene. I knew from her face though that Alice was going to be in big trouble when Bella finally got her alone.

"So…Did you enjoy Rio, Bella?" Carlisle asked. He was trying to get the conversation back to more mundane topics.

Bella took a deep breath before speaking. "Actually I did, once I found Edward that is." She smiled up at me. "He gave me a tour of the city and there was just so _much_." Her voice was more enthusiastic now. "We went to an open air market and there were so many things to see. There was even a monkey I thought about bringing home to you Emmett; you two seemed so similar I thought the two of you might get along." She grinned and Emmett guffawed loudly. Suddenly he jumped up to stand in front of Bella. Before anyone knew what he was doing he had lifted her up and was swinging her around in a circle.

"Good to have you back with us, little bit," he said, laughing loudly. Bella was laughing so hard she shook in Emmett's arms.

Rosalie pushed herself out of her chair and came to stand next to them. "Put her down and stop being such a jackass Emmett, if you can that is." She was smiling slightly as she said it and I could hear in her mind that she was happy to see Emmett so happy again. My leaving had taken some of the joy out of him and it was starting to resurface now and she was grateful.

Emmett lowered Bella gently to the ground and turned in a lightning quick move and picked Rosalie up. She got the same treatment Bella had but her laughter was a little more contained. "Put me down you big ox! Sheesh, if I didn't know better I would think you were twelve years old." There was amusement in her voice.

Carlisle came to stand next to Esme and she stood and wrapped her arms around him. I could hear that they were both overjoyed to have their family back together. Seeing the playfulness that had been absent for too long made them very happy. I looked over at Alice and Jasper. They were holding hands and grinning at Emmett's antics. Bella sat down on the couch next to me again and took my hand. Once again Jasper took her other one and I could hear how grateful he was to her for causing this change in our family.

Emmett put Rosalie down and they walked hand in hand back to the couch. Tanya's family was looking at us all in wonder and I could hear how shocked they were in the change that had come over us all. We were happy and carefree again. They looked at Bella with a new respect that delighted me. Seeing everyone in such high spirits had me ecstatic. I was more thankful than ever that Bella'd had the courage to come find me. I leaned over and kissed her forehead and she turned to smile at me. Esme's joy emanated from her in waves.

Suddenly Bella's stomach grumbled and the whole room heard it. Everyone turned to look at Bella. Her cheeks burned brighter than I had ever seen before and I was alarmed that she might actually faint from embarrassment.

"Sorry," I said. "I keep forgetting to make sure you eat." She looked up at me, mortified.

Esme spoke up. "Come on, Bella. We have plenty of food in the kitchen." She stood up and reached for Bella's hand. Bella took it gratefully. She seemed relieved as Esme led her from the room.

I tried to pay attention to what was going on around me but the bulk of my attention was focused on the kitchen. Everyone had separated into their own private conversations. Jasper and Emmett were talking about a hunting trip. I needed to go with them. It had been almost two weeks since I had hunted last. The thirst was starting to burn within me. They were making plans to go to a spot where they knew there were some bears. I was only half listening.

I tuned into Esme and saw her open the refrigerator and ask Bella what she wanted. Bella looked amused by that and asked why they even had food at all. Esme told her that Tanya and her sisters often had human guests. Bella didn't ask why and I was glad. I didn't want any thoughts to be put in her head. I saw the way she flinched at Tanya's name and so did Esme.

_That witch!_ Esme thought. _She knew exactly what she was doing, trying to hurt Bella like that! Well, I am not going to allow that!_ Esme's thoughts were vehement but her voice was soft when she spoke.

_Don't let her bother you. She has always had a soft spot for Edward, though he has never given her the least bit of encouragement. She is a little jealous that you have managed to steal his heart._ Esme told her. I saw Bella roll her eyes. Didn't she know she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen? Tanya could never hold a candle to her.

I watched Bella hunt around the kitchen. I laughed out loud when she asked Esme to cut up the fruit for her. She was right; she would probably cut herself. Esme's laughter echoed out of the kitchen a few seconds later. Everyone looked at me and I quickly excused myself outside. I wanted to hear Bella and Esme's discussion without interruptions.

I sat down on the far corner of the porch, well out of the way and focused back on Esme.

_-good to see you again, Esme. I've missed you. You're like my mom away from home, if you know what I mean._ I felt Esme's happiness.

_I've missed you too. I think of you as my daughter and I am glad you are back with us. My family is complete now and it is all because of you. _Bella's skin turned the lovely shade of pink that I adored and she shook her head to deny it.

_Bella, you don't know what it has been like around here. Emmett wouldn't laugh and Rosalie was more upset than she let most of us know. Jasper spent most of his time alone because there was so much sadness coming from everyone. Alice even spent less time shopping._ I saw Bella's eyes widen.

_Edward doesn't understand how much at the heart of this family he is. When we first came here, you know, after, it was so hard on him. He could tell how much his anguish at leaving you was hurting us. We couldn't do anything to make him feel better; our sympathy only seemed to make it worse. Soon he just left, gone for weeks at a time. When he would come back we were so happy to see him and so distressed at how much he was suffering. Finally he stopped coming back at all. He would call us, let us know he was ok, but we could tell how much he was hurting._

I felt disgusted with myself. How had I let my pain hurt so many people that I cared about? I was such a horrible selfish person.

I saw through Esme's eyes that Bella had tears in hers. _Esme, I'm so sorry. Sorry that you and Edward and the rest of the family had to suffer so much. Do you ever think that you all would have been better off if I had never come into Edward's life? All I have done is bring suffering on all of you. _Her face twisted into a grimace. I could not imagine what my life would be like if I had not met Bella. She had become the center of my world so absolutely that I could not remember what my previous life had been like.

_Bella, no._ _Bella, you have no idea how much brightness you have brought to our lives by your mere presence_. Bella looked at her skeptically. _I mean it, Bella._ Her voice was firm with conviction. _She needs to understand how amazing she is, _Esme thought.

_Before you, Edward merely existed. He traveled though his life, doing what was expected of him, but not really living it. He would have moments of happiness, of joy, excitement, but really he just wandered. Then, after he met you and fell in love with you, Bella it was like suddenly the sun emanated from him. And he brought all that light to the whole family. He was so happy the rest of us were infected by it too. Like a virus._

Bella smiled at that. I hadn't realized that everyone else had been so affected. All I had been able to concentrate on was Bella; I had been oblivious to everything else. Of course, I was still that way.

_I have never seen him so happy as when he was with you. I heard him laugh more often than I could ever remember. He even started playing the piano again, something he hadn't done in almost a decade. That was you, Bella. You caused those changes in him. He saw in you the things we have all come to see. Your kind and generous nature. How selfless and good you are, what a beautiful soul you have. And we love you for the same reasons. _She sighed when Bella shook her head in denial.

_You don't see how special you really are do you? Bella, from the first moment, you accepted us for _what_ we are and loved us for _who_ we are. That is such a rare thing, in a human or a vampire. You have such a huge capacity for love and we are so glad to have you with us, in our family._ I was glad that my family was able to see all the wonderful things that I loved about Bella.

Bella looked surprised by Esme's words.

_But Esme, you are all so wonderful how can anyone help but to love you?_

Esme laughed. _That's exactly what I mean Bella. Not everyone can love so completely, with such acceptance. You are truly special._ She really was.

_Thank you, Esme._

_Thank _you_, Bella. I know it must have taken a lot of courage to go track Edward down, more than I can fathom. I will be forever thankful for your strength; I don't know many people who could be that strong._ I was still amazed by that courage.

Bella frowned. _I'm not that strong, Esme. I was terrified the whole time, worried I was making a huge fool of myself. I had no idea what he would do, what he would say. I was ready to come back home. What was I doing? Chasing someone who had rejected me; I felt pathetic. It hurt me so much when he left me. I didn't know his real reasons. I thought I was unloved and un-loveable. I mean really, Edward is so amazing and I have always felt so insignificant next to him. When he told me that he didn't want me, that I wasn't good for him, it wasn't so hard to believe. How could I ever be good enough for an angel?_ Bella laughed without amusement.

I sat there, stunned. I had no idea she felt that way. _She_ felt insignificant? Next to _me_? I was so in awe of everything about her. She was a hundred times better than I could ever hope to be and she thought she wasn't good enough for _me_? I couldn't believe it.

It hurt me to hear that she felt un-loveable; the pain of it burned in my chest. I had damaged her self esteem so much and I knew I would do everything in my power to make her understand how truly wonderful she was.

_Bella, my dear sweet Bella. Please don't ever feel that way. You are the best thing that has ever happened to him. You complete him in a way I thought he never would be able to be. You are not insignificant. You fill up the holes in his soul and he does the same for you. You belong together; you were made for each other. _

I would be forever lucky that Esme was my mother. She always knew the perfect thing to say. It was true. I felt complete, whole when I was with Bella. We _did _belong together. Nothing would be able to keep us apart ever again.

I saw Bella brush tears from her eyes.

_Well, now that I know the reason he left I feel better. Angry but better. And there is no way I am ever going to let him get away from me again. Next time he might go to Siberia or something. If you think my Portuguese is bad you should hear my Russian._

I laughed out loud. Only Bella would think like that. I understood her anger now too. I was angry at myself for what I had done to her. Somehow I would find a way to make that pain go away. Until then I would simply give her all the love I had. And that was an awful lot.

I watched Bella and Esme hold each other for a long time. Then I heard the front door open and Jasper came out.

_We are leaving in about an hour to go hunt. Are you coming with us? _It had been a while since I had hunted with my brothers and we were all looking forward to it.

I nodded my head and went inside to find Bella.

I found Bella and Esme in the kitchen, looking out the large bay window with their arms around each other's waists. They were the picture of contentment.

Esme heard me enter before Bella did and she sent her thoughts my way.

_Edward, you have a lot of making up to do to this girl. I am pretty sure you heard what was said but I don't think you really know how much you hurt her. Make her see you won't leave her again. She loves you and you love her. Make sure she knows that._

Bella heard me approach and turned in Esme's arm to look up at me. The smile she gave me was breathtaking. Yes, I would make sure she knew everyday that I loved her and would never leave her again.

She held out her free hand to me and I took it, moving to stand on her other side. I wrapped my hand around her back, resting my hand on Esme's and we all stood there quietly for a moment. Esme's mind was so full of joy I could not decipher it; it was just a constant flow of happiness.

I looked down at Bella and she was looking up at me. Even though I needed to I did not want to leave her, even for only a few hours. We had not been apart since the courtyard and I was loath to leave her now, even for the most necessary of reasons.

"Jasper and Emmett want me to go hunting with them. Do you mind?"

She looked at me quizzically then smiled. "Of course not, don't be silly. I'm not the only one around here who needs to eat." She laughed. "You need to take care of yourself. Go. It has been too long since you have spent time with them. I'll be here when you get back." She smiled at me tenderly.

She was right. I did need to spend time with my brothers. I had missed them, a lot.

I kissed her on her forehead and nodded.

I bent to whisper in her ear, even though I knew Esme would hear. "Look after my heart; I'm leaving it here with you." I gave her waist a quick squeeze and left the room.

I found Jasper and Emmett in the living room. They were discussing the best place to go hunt.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

They both nodded and we went out the back door into the woods. We were traveling to a heavily wooded area many miles from the cabin that had a large variety of wildlife. Emmett was excited about finding some bears. With his immense strength they were the only things that seemed to give him any challenge, though it never was much of a contest anyway. He ran a little ahead of Jasper and me.

I heard Jasper replay his conversation with Bella in his head. To say that she had surprised him was an understatement.

"She surprised me too, Jasper. Of course I _shouldn't_ have been surprised. She's that type of person. Forgiving."

_I didn't expect it. I thought she would hold on to some resentment or bitterness towards me, especially after everything that happened, but she didn't. All I felt from her was forgiveness and affection. Affection! After all the pain what I did caused she felt affection for me! I can't wrap my mind around it._ He was mystified.

Jasper had lived in such a turbulent climate before he joined our family that I could see how Bella's reaction would confuse him. In his previous life, an affront was dealt with harshly. Retribution was a daily staple; tolerance was unknown. Of course he had not expected violence from Bella but her unadulterated forgiveness had left him reeling.

"She cares about you, Jasper. You are like a brother to her. She does not hold our natures against us. She knows that the way you acted was instinct, not intent. You made her happy today, when you sat next to her. She wants to be closer to you."

_I want that too. She is my sister now, since she is with you. And being around her is easier now; I am not sure why. It's like all the pain caused by my actions cured me of the thirst for her blood or something. I can't describe it right but I don't burn as much when I am around her as I used to. _He caught the scent of a group of elk to the south and drifted off towards them, melting into the trees like a ghost.

I followed behind him, just as silent. I contemplated his words as I moved through the forest. It was the same for me. Bella's blood still smelled the same, like lavender and freesias. It was still a potent force to me, more than any other human's. But it did not scorch my throat like it had before. I still burned but the flames were not as hot. Jasper's theory made sense to me. Perhaps losing Bella had cured me from the inferno her scent usually caused in my throat. Just like loving her had cured me from the monster that wanted her death when we first met. It was something to think about.

I caught the scent of the elk in the air and turned my focus to the hunt.

After Jasper and I had both drank our fill we set off in search of Emmett. We found him just finishing off a large grizzly. He dropped the bear and waved at us.

"You guys finished?" Jasper and I both nodded.

"Okay me too."

He walked towards us and I could tell he was purposely keeping his mind blank. He was up to something and he was trying to keep it from me. I tensed, preparing my self.

_Up to something isn't he?_

I nodded infinitesimally.

_How about us first this time? One…two…three!_

Emmett never saw it coming. He was concentrating so hard on not giving himself away that he didn't see Jasper and me spring until it was too late. I dove for his legs and Jasper leapt at his chest. We slammed into him and it sounded like an artillery shell went off. Alone neither Jasper nor I were any match against Emmett's massive strength, but together we managed to get him to the ground. Then we were wrestling around, knocking down a mature spruce, and slamming it into another tree that also fell. We grappled for a few minutes before we all collapsed, laughing.

Emmett reached over and tousled my hair, still laughing. "Missed you, bro."

"Only because I'm the only one besides Jasper who will wrestle with you." I said, grinning. I had missed Emmett too.

"Yeah, but you still cheat." He said, grinning back.

"I don't cheat. Even if I couldn't read minds Emmett, you are so obvious I would have been able to see what you were about to do."

"I saw it too Emmett, you are just too easy to read." Jasper put in, laughing at the consternation on Emmett's face.

"Come on, let's get back." I said. I was anxious to see Bella again, even though it had only been a few hours.

_You still got it bad, bro_, Emmett thought.

_Can't stand to be away from her for even a few hours can you? _Jasper was laughing to himself.

I glowered at them both and they both burst out laughing.

"Come on, Jasper." Emmett said. "He just doesn't look right unless Bella is attached to his hip." Even I had to laugh at that and we took off towards the cabin.

Dusk was falling when we got back. We walked inside and Kate was the first one to see us.

"What in the world happened to you three? You look like you all fought with a tree and the tree won."

I saw in her mind how we all looked. My shirt had several dirt stains and there were a few leaves stuck in my hair. The knee of my jeans was ripped and there were grass stains all over them. Jasper and Emmett didn't look much better. Emmett actually looked a little worse. The bear had torn a gash in his shirt and he had a twig stuck in his hair.

Carlisle came in when he heard Kate speak and he just looked at us and laughed, shaking his head.

_Good to see that some things never change. Wonder what the forest looks like after their wrestling match?_ He knew us too well.

Rosalie, Alice and Bella came down the stairs then. They stopped when they saw us standing there, disheveled.

"Emmett is that the shirt I gave you?" Rosalie glared. _Geez! He is such a kid sometimes! Can't stay clean for ten minutes!_ She was a little amused by the stick in his hair though.

"Um, I'm not sure, maybe." Emmett stammered. Rosalie turned and walked back up the stairs.

"Aww, Rose! We were just having fun!" Emmett called, following up after her. Jasper and I looked at each other and laughed until we had to hold each other up.

"You look terrible, Jazz! It's not going to be easy to get that shirt clean. Come on, let's get you changed." Alice sounded exasperated but her thoughts were excited. _Hmm, maybe I can go buy him a new one. I have to take him with me though this time…_

Jasper felt her excitement and groaned. He knew exactly what she was thinking. He trudged behind Alice up the stairs.

Bella walked up to me and grinned. I grinned back.

"You look great to me." Then she reached up and kissed me quickly on the lips. "It makes me happy to see you play with your brothers again. I brought your bag up to the room. Come on." She held out her hand.

I took it and we walked up the stairs. We walked down the hall and she opened one of the doors. It was the room I usually used when I stayed here but I was surprised to see Bella's bag next to the closet. She noticed me looking at it and blushed pink.

"Esme put us in here together. She said that there wasn't another empty room and that we should share." She was looking at her feet when she spoke.

I sent a silent thank you to Esme. I knew that even with all of us here there were at least two other rooms that were empty. Esme knew that I would not want to be parted from Bella, or have to face the embarrassing situation of being caught sneaking into her room.

I took her chin in my fingers and kissed her.

"I don't mind and neither should you. It is exactly the arrangement that I would have asked for if I had thought about it. You know how much I like listening to you talk in your sleep. I've missed that." I winked at her and she rolled her eyes.

"Besides, would you rather get caught sneaking into my room to sleep next to me?" She blushed bright pink.

"Me neither, so this is the best way. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. In here we are the only two people in the world, okay?" I liked the way that sounded. A private sanctuary for Bella and me. I could tell by her expression that she liked it too.

I took a quick shower to wash away the evidence of our wrestling match then changed into fresh jeans and a t-shirt. Bella was waiting for me when I came out of the bathroom. I saw her look me up and down and I raised my eyebrow at her and grinned. As I expected she turned a beguiling shade of pink and then giggled. She held out her hand to me and I took it, intertwining our fingers.

"Come on," she said. "I think everyone else went downstairs."

I tugged her to a stop before she could take more than a step. She looked up at me questioningly.

"One thing, before we go downstairs." I said, pulling her closer to me.

Her eyes widened for a moment then softened as she looked at my mouth. A small smile played around her lips. Unconsciously she licked her bottom lip and that was all the invitation I needed.

I bent my head to hers and captured her lips. She was so warm. The taste of her lips was indescribable. Her arms went around my waist and I felt her fingers grasp the fabric of my t-shirt. My fingers slipped into her hair and cradled her head. I gently tilted her head back, kissing her more deeply. Her breath became more ragged and her fingers were kneading my shirt like a kitten. I let my tongue slid across her bottom lip and she opened her mouth, fanning me with her warm sweet breath. One of my hands slipped free of her hair and wrapped around her waist, pressing her closer to me. She moaned softly in her throat. The sound was so arousing it was almost my undoing. Then I felt her shiver in my arms. Though I knew it was from passion not temperature, it was the reminder I needed.

I released her, but slowly. Partly because I didn't want her to feel rejected by breaking contact too quickly but mostly because I never wanted to let her go. I slowed my kisses until they were soft caresses on her lips. When I pulled away I looked at her face. Her eyes were closed and her creamy skin was flushed. She opened her eyes and the chocolate brown of her eyes had darkened to mocha with passion.

Gorgeous. I had to stop myself from pulling her into my arms again.

I rested my forehead against hers and tried to get my breathing under control.

"Hmm," I said when I felt steadier, "remind me to thank Esme for putting us in here together."

She blushed, of course. "Me too." Then she reached up and kissed me softly on the mouth before pulling away slightly, her face just inches from mine.

"Though, that would have been worth getting caught sneaking into your room for." She grinned and then pulled me out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

We made our way downstairs to find that almost everyone was there. I did not see Tanya, Rose or Esme; I could not hear their thoughts so they were not in the house either. We sat at the end of one of the couches. Alice and Jasper were at the other end, talking to Emmett who sat in an armchair next to them. They were discussing the trip back to Forks. Kate, Irina and Carlisle were talking about hunting possibilities. There were so many of us here at one time that we would have to go farther out on our hunting trips so that we did not impact the local wildlife in a negative way. Carmen and Eleazar were listening but not speaking.

Alice bent forward, looking around me to talk to Bella.

"Bella, we are going to have to come up with some convincing stories for you to tell Charlie when you get back."

"I know Alice. And we will have to make sure that we include Jasper in them too. Charlie thinks we were all together. And I assume that you have documents made up to prove that I was there? He'll want to see those too you know." She said meaningfully.

_She is getting good that this_, Alice thought. She grinned at Bella.

"Of course. I already have them. You were distributing supplies to areas that were very much in need of them. I would have had us administering vaccinations but I know how much you hate needles. And blood." She laughed. _Can it get anymore ironic?_

Kate and Irina were looking at Bella with curiosity and amazement.

"You hate blood, Bella?" Kate asked. Bella blushed; she hated that blood made her nauseous and hated attention more.

"Oh yes, our Bella here gets nauseous just at the sight of it. Faints dead away." Emmett pressed the back of his hand against his forehead and pretended to faint. He burst out laughing. Kate and Irina both laughed.

"Thanks Emmett." Bella said, disgust in her voice.

"It's just ironic." Irina said. "Your boyfriend drinks blood and the sight of it makes you faint." _Such a paradox those two._ She thought.

"Actually it is the smell, not the sight." Bella said, and then looked like she wished she hadn't spoken.

"Most humans can't smell blood Bella. It is unusual that you can. You might have better than average olfactory development." Carlisle was in doctor mode.

"I don't know about that Carlisle. I mean I know I don't have vampire senses but I don't think I smell better than anyone else." Bella looked uncomfortable so I decided to lighten the moment.

"You do to me," I said, smirking at Bella. She smiled at me and everyone laughed and went back to their conversations.

Kate and Irina looked over at Bella with curiosity. They were both secretly amused at how a simple human girl could affect me so much. I was too for that matter. But they didn't know my Bella. She had always held my attention, from that very first moment in the cafeteria.

Bella leaned over to me and spoke in a soft voice.

"I think I would like to go for a walk for a while."

I nodded and would have gotten up but she stopped me.

"No, you sit here and visit with your family. I'm not going to go far."

I didn't like the thought of Bella wandering around outside alone.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I just need some fresh air. It's good for my olfactory development." She laughed softly. Perhaps she really did need some air and if I knew Bella, some time to think by herself. I was not going to crowd her if she needed her space. I was not going to be _that _guy. I simply nodded and she excused herself and walked outside. I heard her walk down the steps and into the yard.

I sat there for a moment, lost in my own thoughts, when Carlisle pulled me to the present.

_Edward, I would like to speak to you outside please._

I nodded and got up. Carlisle excused himself from Kate and Irina and we walked out the back door. We went about fifty yards into the trees then stopped.

"What is it Carlisle?" I asked.

_There are a few things that I would like to talk to you about before we return to Forks._

"Alright, what?" I was a little wary now.

_First, how are you going to deal with the Charlie situation? If what I suspect is true, Bella was not in the best shape after you left._ I flinched at that. I was beginning to understand how much I had hurt her. I knew Charlie would not easily forgive me for what I had done to Bella.

"I'm not really certain at this point. I will have to explain to him why I left. Well, not the real reason I left but something close to it. Charlie is a cop and I am sure that even with my skills at lying he will see something amiss. I haven't got the story quite settled in my head yet. But I do know that he will have to accept the fact that Bella and I are together again." I spoke the last words with conviction.

_Just be careful son. He is a father and they are very, very protective. Especially of their only children. Even more so when that only child is a girl._

"I know Carlisle. And I will have to make sure that I do not cause any problems for Bella as well. It is a sticky situation but I will speak to Bella about it and we will try to figure out the best approach. She knows him better than I do." Carlisle knew about my inability to read Charlie's thoughts. I was only able to get impressions. I would have to play it by ear.

Carlisle nodded. _That sounds like a good plan._

He hesitated before he continued.

_There is something else, Edward. I know that we have had this discussion before but I think that now it is even more pertinent._

I saw what was on his mind. This was not a discussion I wanted to have.

"I know what you are going to say, Carlisle, and the answer is still no. I do not want Bella to become one of us, Alice's vision be damned."

_Do you believe that Bella has changed her mind?_

"We have not discussed it." I had not even thought about it again. I had not wanted to disrupt our reunion.

_It is something you need to discuss with her Edward. Now more than ever._

"What do you mean?" I could not see where he was going with this conversation.

_Edward, we all saw the misery that you went through when you were parted from her this time and it was_ your_ decision. What would you do if something happened to her? If she…died? _

I gasped at the sudden pain that thought caused in my chest. What would I do if Bella were gone forever? These last months I _had _lost her but only in the figurative sense. She was still alive and I could have seen her whenever I had chosen to. Bella's description of her accident, the one that had brought her back to me, flashed through my mind. What if it had killed her? What if I never ever had the chance to see her again? The anguish that caused me had me gripping my chest and bowing my head.

I felt Carlisle's hand grip my shoulder.

_That's exactly what I am talking about, Edward. She is human and with that comes mortality. She may not die for sixty or seventy years but eventually she will. You have to think about that. If this is something that Bella truly wants you should consider it._

I drew in a shocked breath andrecoiled from Carlisle's touch.

"How can you think that? Do you really think that she should be condemned to this life like the rest of us? You know how all of us struggle with what we are! You think Bella should have that same kind of torment? She doesn't even know what she would be getting into! She doesn't understand what it is like, this life of ours."

_Have you tried explaining it to her?_ I shook my head. _Then perhaps you should. It might change her mind. I have never met anyone who wanted to enter into this life willingly. She may not be as tormented as you think if it is what she wants in the first place. I do know that you cannot bear to be parted from her, even in death. I know you Edward, I know you cannot and will not survive without her. _

He was right. There was no way I would be able to go on if Bella were dead.

"I will think about what you have said Carlisle. But I would rather nothing be said to her about this. She _may_ have changed her mind and I don't want to give her ideas."

_Fair enough._

I could tell that there was something else on his mind. I heard what he was thinking and gasped.

"I am not ready for _that _discussion, Carlisle." I said angrily.

_Edward, you are going to have to face it someday. Bella is a healthy young woman and she _does_ have physical needs. Just like you do._

I groaned. I knew I had physical needs. It was all I could do not to keep my hands off of Bella every minute of the day. More so when I kissed her. But I did not want to hurt her either.

"Carlisle, it is not safe for her. What if I were to lose control. I could never forgive myself for hurting her."

_Then perhaps you need to work on it. Practice with her to build up your…tolerance._

I looked at him, shocked.

"Build up my tolerance? How?"

_Start slowly and work your way through. There are many ways to give and receive pleasure that do not involve actual intercourse. _

I could not believe I was having this discussion.

_Perhaps just start with touching her in a more intimate way. You can always stop when you feel your control slipping. I think you will be surprised at how much control you do have. Don't be afraid to go slow. This is all new to you and I know that it will take time before you are ready to "go all the way" as it were._

"Thanks Carlisle. I really do appreciate your advice. Um, can we go back inside now?" I asked pleadingly.

Carlisle laughed. _Sure._

I breathed a silent sigh of relief.

We walked back inside and I noticed that Bella was not back yet. I was becoming a little worried by her continued absence. I decided to go out onto the porch to see if I could see her. When I did I saw her walking with Rose and Rose had her arm around Bella's shoulder. I was shocked. Rosalie had hardly ever even spoken to Bella, much less show her physical affection. I wondered what had happened to change things.

"Everything okay?" I asked warily. Rosalie answered.

"Sure, I saw Bella walking and joined her. I knew you would want her to be safe. So we have just been having a sisterly walk and talk." She smiled. _Just getting to know my new sister, Edward. Don't freak out._

This didn't sound like the Rose I knew at all. I would have to ask her in private just what had occurred on this walk of Bella's.

We all turned and walked into the house.

I sat back down on the couch with Bella. I could see that she was deep in thought.

"Did you have a good walk?" I asked. I watched her reaction. She kept her face impassive but I could see a slight tightening around her eyes. So something had happened. I would definitely have to get the story from Rose now. Bella's voice was a little too casual when she answered.

"Yes, thanks. I just had some stuff to think about, ya' know?" I was about to ask her what she was thinking about when Esme entered the room.

She was carrying two large white bags from a local Italian restaurant. Ah, she must have gotten Bella dinner. I could smell the oregano, cheese and tomato sauce. Yuck. But I was glad that Bella would have some real food to eat.

"Bella, I got you something to eat for dinner. I hope you like Italian." Esme said, holding up the bags.

"Sure, thanks Esme. That was really thoughtful." Bella said. "Let's take it into the kitchen."

She got up and I would have followed her but she waved me back. I knew it made her a little uncomfortable when people watched her eat. It was just so fascinating to me, not to mention just a little erotic_. Stop it Edward_, I said to myself angrily. _You have a hard enough time keeping your hands to yourself as it is._

I looked over and Jasper was looking at me, his eyebrow raised.

_You are putting off quite a bit of lust there, brother. You alright?_

I glowered at him and he smirked at me.

_Just leash it a little, for me. You keep hitting me with that and I will have to drag Alice out of here._ I blocked the images that came flooding into my head of Jasper and Alice together and grimaced.

Jasper just laughed.

I was only halfway tuning into what was going on in the kitchen. I did want to give Bella as much privacy as I could. But some things could not be ignored. I did not have to be able to read minds to hear the alarm in Esme's voice

"Bella, what in the world happened to your arm?"

I was up and in the kitchen before anyone could blink.

I crossed quickly over to Bella and saw that Esme was holding Bella's right arm. I looked down and drew in a harsh gasp. There was a large black and blue bruise forming on Bella's narrow forearm. It looked like it went all the way around. And it was in the shape of a hand.

"Bella! What happened? Who did this?" I was mortified. Had I done this somehow? I could not remember if I had held her a little too tightly at some point. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it when I placed my fingers over the bruise. I could see that my fingers did not fit the marks and relaxed for a moment then realized that the bruises were the size of a woman's fingers. I stiffened.

"Did Rose do this to you?" If she had she would answer to me, Emmett or no Emmett.

"Of course not!" Bella said disapprovingly. "You know Rose would never do that!"

She was right of course. I felt disloyal for saying it.

"You're right, I'm sorry. Then who?" She seemed reluctant to tell me and I was not going to have that. I stared down at her until she gave a resigned sigh.

"Tanya."

I growled. What in the hell was Tanya thinking? How dare she put her hand on Bella? She was going to answer to me for this and she would be lucky if I didn't tear her limb from limb. I spun on my heel and stalked out of the room, finding Tanya my only thought.

I was startled when I heard Bella yell.

"Emmett! Stop him!" It took me a moment to process what she had said and it was long enough for Emmett to grab me from behind as I came into the living room.

Emmett never used his full strength on us. He was so much stronger than the rest of us there was no need. But he did now. He held me so firmly I could not break free. I struggled against his hold, growling and snarling, but I could not move.

Bella was in front of me, speaking, but I was so furious I could not decipher the words.

She reached up and placed her hand over my heart.

"Edward! Stop it! Now!" She sounded angry. Her voice started to penetrate the red haze I was looking through and I knew I had to stop struggling. I did not want to hurt Bella on accident. I could not stop the growls from emanating from my chest though.

Bella reached up and placed her hands on the side of my face. She forced me to look at her.

"You have to calm down Edward. It's over. It's done. I'm fine. So calm down." Somehow her touch on my skin was soothing. I could feel myself calming down, almost against my will. What power did she possess over me? I looked at her disbelievingly and relaxed my body. I was still upset but I did not feel the killing rage. Her simple touch had calmed me down enough to think more clearly. She released me and stepped back.

"Emmett, you can let him go." She said. Emmett looked over at Jasper who simply nodded.

Emmett released me and I went to stand by Bella.

It was Alice who broke the silence.

"Now will someone please tell us what the hell just happened?"

Bella answered.

"When I was out for a walk Tanya caught up with me. She grabbed my arm and left a bruise." She held up her arm and everyone saw the tell tale markings on her skin. Irina and Alice gasped. I flinched to see the damaged inflicted on her beautiful skin. I felt myself growing angry again and was hit by a wave of calm. I looked over at Jasper, who just shrugged.

_Don't need you going off again, bro._

"Why did she grab you?" Esme was asking now. _What on earth could have possessed her?_

Bella's face became angry.

"She told me to back off, that Edward was hers." I felt disbelief pouring from everyone in the room. Except Rose. She knew more than she was letting on. I would find out what. Before I could speak though, Kate was standing at Bella's side.

"I cannot believe that my sister would do such a thing!" She said.

Bella shrugged and started to turn away. Kate grabbed Bella's left arm. But before I could move to make her release her hold, Bella turned on her, enraged beyond anything I had ever seen.

"Damn it! Let go of me!" Shocked, Kate released her. "Why can't you people keep your damn hands to yourselves? I am so sick of being manhandled! You know, I might be some simple human but I am not a toy and I am not a pet. You got that? I have thoughts and feelings just like everyone else. If your sister doesn't like that Edward and I are together that is just too damn bad! He loves me and I love him, bottom line, end of discussion. And you tell her for me that if she tries to come between us or if she _ever _touches me again, I will personally start the bonfire that burns her to ash! Got it?"

Bella turned and stalked out of the house, slamming the door and rattling the windows.

We all stood, stunned, looking at the front door.

"Well, shit." Carlisle said.

Everyone turned to look at him disbelievingly. Carlisle very rarely ever cursed. In fact, in ninety years I could only remember him having used profanity three times. All of them at moments like this. Moments of complete and utter shock.

Carlisle just shrugged and scratched the back of his head. "Wow, she really was something wasn't she?"  
"Go Bella!" Emmett said and everyone laughed.

We all looked at Jasper.

"Don't look at me," He said, holding up his hands. "That was all Bella."

"I didn't know she had it in her." Alice said. She sounded proud.

"I did." Rose said. I turned to look at her.

"What happened when she was out for a walk, Rose? I know there was more to it than you let on."

Rose sighed. "Okay, I was coming back from taking a run in the woods and I saw Bella walking, looking like she was really deep in thought. She realized that she had gotten too far from the house and turned back and that is when Tanya caught up with her. I could hear what they were saying but I waited to see what Tanya would do. She has been so bitchy since she heard Bella was coming back and I knew she needed to get whatever she was feeling off her chest. Then I heard her tell Bella to back off, that Edward was hers."

I snorted. There was no way on this earth that I would ever be Tanya's plaything.

Rose continued her story.

"Well Bella got mad. She told Tanya that there was no way she was going to give you up after going all the way to South America to get you. She told Tanya she was insane to think it." Rose grinned and I could see she was proud of Bella for standing up for herself.

"So, Tanya told Bella that being a simple human she could never keep Edward and that Tanya would get him. Then Bella got really mad. Told Tanya she felt sorry for her. Said she knew Edward loved her and that Tanya was a pathetic creature to think otherwise."

I heard Emmett's low whistle behind me.

"That's when it got a little dicey. Tanya looked seriously mad then and grabbed Bella. So I ran up and got Tanya off of her before she could hurt her. Then Tanya ran into the woods."

"Thanks Rosalie, I owe you." I said. I did. Bella might have been seriously hurt.

"I'll remember that you said that. " Rosalie grinned. _I think I am starting to like Bella, Edward. That girl has some real spunk. AND she drives you crazy, in every way possible so that is a bonus. _She chuckled evilly.

I rolled my eyes. But I was glad to see that Rose's and Bella's relationship had taken a better turn.

"Edward, I am sorry that my sister would do such a thing." Kate said contritely. "I will promise you now that I will have a very long hard talk with her about this. This is inexcusable behavior."

I was still seething about this but blaming Kate was not going to help.

"I would appreciate it, Kate. I doubt that I would be able to have a rational discussion with Tanya right now." I would probably tear her limb from limb.

"And I will say," Kate continued, "your Bella showed a lot of spunk. She is not the shy girl I thought she was. You know, I almost believed her about lighting the bonfire."

Emmett laughed until he could not stand up.

Esme came up to me then and spoke softly.

"Edward, it is dark outside and Bella should not be alone out there. She is probably upset by what happened. Go find her and bring her back inside."

I nodded and went outside to find my beautiful warrior.

I went out on the porch but Bella was not there. Evening had fallen and it was dark; the only light was coming from the windows of the house. Of course I could see perfectly but it took me a moment to locate Bella. Then I saw her standing next to a tree about twenty feet from the house. I was relieved that she had not gone far.

I approached and saw that she was hugging the tree with her face pressed against it. What a strange position.

"Bella?" I called softly. I did not want to startle her. She did not move.

"Bella, are you okay?" I moved closer and put my hand on her shoulder. She still did not move except to shake her head no. I was starting to become alarmed. What was wrong with her?

"Bella, look at me. Please?" I pleaded. I was relieved to see her release her grip on the tree and turn to face me. She kept her eyes on the ground.

"Bella, what's wrong? Please say something." I wished I could hear her thoughts. I used my finger to raise her chin and saw tears on her cheeks. I brushed them away.

"My love, why are you crying?" She looked up at me then and I gasped. Her eyes were so full of misery it tore my heart out. Before I could speak she threw her arms around me and turned her face into my chest.

"Oh, Edward! I'm so sorry! I can't believe I did that! Yelling at Kate and threatening Tanya and storming out of the house. I am so embarrassed. Your family must think I am the biggest idiot on the whole planet and-." I cut her off before she could finish.

"Bella! Bella! You have it all wrong! They are so proud of you! Standing up for yourself like that-it makes them all very happy. Honestly they didn't know you had it in you. Emmett laughed so hard at the expression on Kate's face I think they still may be having trouble getting him off the floor." I couldn't believe that this was the cause of her worry. Silly girl.

"Really? They don't think it was ridiculous for a mere human to threaten a vampire with bodily harm?" She seemed to find the humor in that statement. She giggled. Then she started laughing. I joined her and ended up having to hold on to her because she was laughing so hard she might fall over. Tears were streaming from her eyes and she wiped them away and calmed down.

"I'm sorry. I really am acting like an idiot now." She sniffed then smiled at me.

"No, not an idiot." I smiled at her. "Just a very possessive girlfriend." I liked that part of her. The part that was willing to fight for me. Even standing up to indestructible vampires to do it.

She stuck her tongue out at me and I grinned. Then I remembered how her kisses, and her tongue, tasted on my lips and felt the desire rise in me.

"I think I like the possessive Bella. You know, you were very sexy in there." I ran my finger along her bottom lip, reveling in its softness.

"R-Really?" She said breathlessly. Her heart started to race and her skin became flushed. I bent and brushed the tip of my nose along her chin to the sweet hollow beneath her ear. Then returned along the same path. She smelled so amazing.

"Really. You looked like the powerful, beautiful woman I always knew you were." She had been amazing. The passion in her voice, the flush to her skin, the way her eyes flashed. She was magnificent when she was angry.

I moved my hands to her neck and brushed my thumbs along its warmth from her ear to the lovely curve of her collarbone. I used my thumb to raise her lips to mine and kissed her.

She began to breathe more erratically and her arms came up around my neck, playing in my hair. Her touch felt electrifying. She stood up on her toes and held herself to me tightly. I wrapped my arm around her back and pulled her flush against me. I could not resist touching her warm soft lip with my tongue and she moaned deep in her throat. Like before just that sound nearly drove me over the edge.

I kissed her more urgently, more forcefully but she did not seem to mind. I needed more contact with her so I reached down and wrapped my arm underneath her backside and pulled her up off the ground. Our chests were flush against each other. She wrapped her legs around my waist and we were locked together. Her soft warm body pressed against mine was so erotic. I stepped forward and pressed her into the tree, loving the way her body moved against mine. I moved my arm from around her back and pushed my fingers into her thick soft hair. I pulled her head back so I could kiss the beautiful column of her throat.

"Edward," she breathed. The sound of my name brought me out of my passionate frenzy and back to my senses. I was quickly losing my grip on my self control. A few more minutes and I would not be able to stop myself from taking her against this tree. _Slow it down Edward._ I thought to myself.

I kept kissing her, though not with the same all-consuming urgency as before. I released her head and carefully pulled her legs from around me. I lowered her down my body, still kissing her. Finally I forced myself to pull away. I kept my eyes closed for a moment, knowing if I looked at her at this moment I might not be able to stop myself from pulling her back into my arms and picking up where we left off. Her arms were around my neck and I still had her hips in my grip. She withdrew one arm and touched my cheek with her soft warm hand. I opened my eyes and the look on her face was almost my undoing. Her lips were slightly swollen from my kiss, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes glowed with banked passion. She smiled at me.

"Good thing for you that I have so much self-control, Edward Cullen." Then she grinned.

I was shocked for a moment. This woman was driving me to distraction, and I loved it. I burst out laughing.

"I thought I knew the meaning of self-control until I met you, Bella Swan. You could tempt the Devil himself and make him thank God for it." I kissed her then led her back to the house.

_God I love this woman!_ I thought.

We walked back towards the house. I stole a quick kiss before we went inside. I opened the door and everyone turned expectantly.

We walked inside. I sat down in a large armchair and Bella climbed up into my lap seemingly without thought.

She blushed an interesting shade of magenta when she realized that everyone was looking at her. She made an attempt to move but I held her there. She looked at me and I shook my head slightly. She seemed to understand that I wanted her to stay where she was and she relaxed a little.

"Hey Bella!" Alice trilled. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm really sorry that I lost my temper before."

"You should do it more often, little sister." Emmett said with a huge grin on his face. "Funniest thing I have seen in a while" _She looked like a cranky kitten._ He thought. I had to smile at that. I had always thought her anger was a little endearing.

"Yes, I kind of liked seeing Evil Bella come out." Alice said. _Seriously, where has she been hiding and can she come out to play more often?_

Bella laughed with everyone else.

"I'm sorry Bella," Kate said. "I should not have grabbed you like that. I didn't hurt you did I?"

Bella held out her arm to look at it and I gasped to see another set of bruises on her arm. I glared at Kate.

"Well, at least I match now." Bella said poking at the new hand shaped bruise on her left arm. She seemed nonchalant.

"Oh Bella, I am so sorry! I truly did not mean to hurt you!" Kate exclaimed. _I am very sorry Edward. I promise I will not touch her again. _I nodded.

"Its okay, Kate. I am used to bruises by now." Bella laughed a little. Kate looked at her quizzically.

Emmett intercepted the look and laughed.

"Our Bella here is the world's biggest klutz, Kate. I don't think I have ever seen anyone fall down as much as her. It makes it worth having her around, just for comic relief." He laughed loudly. Bella sighed and shook her head.

I glared at Emmett.

_You know its true Edward. That girl is a walking disaster._ He grinned at me. I smiled a little back. Life around Bella was always interesting to say the least.

We all sat around talking about inconsequential things. Bella had curled into my chest and I realized that she had not spoken in a while. When I looked down I saw that she was asleep. It _had _been quite a long emotional day for her. I was about to lift her up to take her upstairs when I noticed that everyone had stopped talking and were looking at her.

"What?" I said, too softly to wake Bella up. I knew they would all hear me.

Carlisle looked at everyone and then spoke first.

"It's just kind of fascinating watching her sleep. I think most of us have forgotten what it was like to actually do it."

I smiled. "I know what you mean. She thinks I am crazy of course. She doesn't see anything interesting in it at all and can't see how I can sit for hours and watch her."

"She looks so peaceful." Irina said, and Carmen and Eleazar both nodded in agreement.

At that moment, Bella frowned and said quite clearly, "Do your own dishes."

Everyone looked shocked. Then they all laughed quietly, including Emmett. I could tell he was fascinated by Bella's sleeping too.

"She talks in her sleep." I said, somewhat guiltily. I had not told them about this quirk.

"This explains how you can watch her for hours on end." Esme winked at me.

"Maybe you should take her upstairs and put her in bed. I am sure that she is not as comfortable as she could be." She said. _And she would not like anyone other than you hearing her talk in her sleep._ I nodded.

I lifted Bella up, careful not to jostle her and carried her upstairs. I held her in one arm and opened the door with the other, pushing it closed with my foot. I carried her over to the bed and laid her down gently. I stood back and looked at her for a moment. Irina was right; she did look peaceful. Her soft hair flowed around her like a river and her long dark lashes fanned out on her lovely smooth cheeks. Her lips were parted a little and her breathing was deep and even. She was unbelievably beautiful.

As I watched her she moved to her side and I could see that the dress she wore became twisted in her legs. I frowned. She could not be comfortable like that. I reached down and untied her shoes, setting them next to the bed. I looked at her, torn. She needed to be comfortable to sleep but the thought of undressing her had my breath coming faster. I had never seen her in her underwear. _Suck it up and do it Edward, it is for her comfort, nothing else._

I gritted my teeth and careful rolled her so that I could reach the zipper in the back of the dress. I unzipped it gently, trying not to wake her. I turned her onto her back, sucked in a deep breath and slid her dress off of her shoulders. I blew that breath out sharply when the dress slipped down past her breasts. She had on a pink and white striped bra with a pink bow in the middle. Her skin looked so soft and creamy and I had to clench my fists for a moment to regain control. How I wanted to touch her!

_Comfort only Cullen!_ I berated myself.

I quickly but gently pulled her dress the rest of the way down and off of her. I clenched my fists _and_ my jaw when I saw her undressed before me. She was wearing a pair of ridiculously short boy shorts with the same pink and white stripe as the bra. With the same pink bow. It should be illegal to even purchase those things, much less wear them. They were temptation itself. _Focus damn it!_

I quickly turned away before I could act on the lustful thoughts in my mind. I went over to her luggage to find her some pajamas. After pulling out several bits of lace and silk I gave up. There was no way I would be able to keep my hands off her in those miniscule things. I opened my own bag and pulled out one of my t-shirts. I crossed back over to the bed and sat down next to Bella.

I lifted her up, trying to ignore the feeling of her soft skin under mine and carefully pulled the shirt down over her head. Bella did not wake up during any of this. _She must really be tired_, I thought.

I put her arms through the proper holes and pulled the shirt down her body. I was able to think a little clearer now that she was covered. I lifted her up carefully and pulled the blankets back. I laid her down and pulled the covers up over her. Then I finally released the breath I had been holding.

I walked over to stare out the window until I had myself under control. As I stood there, slowing my breathing and trying to rein in my lustful thoughts I saw a movement in the yard below me.

Tanya.

She was standing outside looking up at our window. She beckoned to me when she saw me standing there. I did not want to leave Bella but I was going to have this out with Tanya once and for all. I would not tolerate her threatening or hurting Bella again.

With one last look at my sleeping love I crossed swiftly to the door and down the stairs. I could feel the eyes of my family on me as I walked outside.

_I hope you know what you are doing Edward_-Esme

_Be careful Edward, you are putting out a lot of anger_-Jasper

_Kick that bitches ass!_-Rosalie

I ignored the rest of the thoughts as I leapt down the steps and crossed over to where Tanya was standing. We were about sixty feet from the house.

"Well?" I said rudely. My hands were clenched at my sides.

"I wanted to talk to you, Edward," she said silkily.

I crossed my arms in front of me.

"About what?" I had a pretty good idea about what she wanted.  
"Well I am sure your _human_ told you everything that happened when she was out here walking." She said snidely. _Running crying to her boyfriend, typical._

"Actually she didn't say anything about it. It was only after we noticed that you had hurt her that the story came out." I growled. How dare she put her hands on Bella!

"Well, I didn't mean to hurt her or anything. You know how fragile they are." She said spitefully. _I can't help it if she is as fragile as a dry twig._

"You should never have put your hands on her in the first place, Tanya. What in the hell were you thinking?" I asked angrily.

"She wasn't listening to me Edward!" Her voice became more strident. "I told her that she should step aside and she was ignoring me! I was just trying to get her attention." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Of course she ignored you!" My voice rose. "What did you really think would happen? That she would just say 'oh, well ok Tanya. I'll just go home and you can have him'?" I said sarcastically.

"She's no good for you Edward. You know we could be great together. At least you would not have to worry about breaking _me_!" She said smugly.

Her words stung, but not in the way she intended. They only reminded me of the things that I had said to Bella in the forest. Reminded me that my true love was upstairs sleeping peacefully while this catty woman was trying to destroy my happiness.

Tanya must have seen my reflection on her words as a victory because she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around my neck. The woman never quit! I grabbed her by the upper arms and pushed her away. Hard. She stumbled back a few steps then looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

_What? He's rejecting me? Again? With everything I could show him he should be worshipping at my feet! Maybe he is just uncertain about how to progress…I can help with that…_

I decided to set her straight once and for all.

"Tanya, I have tried to be as gentlemanly as possible with this because I have not wanted to hurt your feelings. But in hurting Bella you have gone too far. So I will tell you in no uncertain terms that there will never, ever be anything between us. My heart, and the rest of me for that matter, have already been claimed. Do us both a favor and stop pursuing. Nothing will come of it and you will only be angering me and hurting yourself."

She only stood staring at me and I turned to walk away.

"Just one more thing, Edward." Tanya said. What now? I just wanted to escape, to go back to Bella.

"What now, Tanya?" I said wearily, turning back to her.

"This." She said, grabbing my shirt and yanking me to her. She crashed her lips to mine in what she thought was a passionate kiss. The only thing I felt was disgust at her maneuvering.

I grabbed her hands and shoved her from me. Then I very deliberately wiped the back of my hand across my mouth. Tanya looked dumbfounded. I opened my mouth to speak when I heard a giggle coming from the house. I looked up and saw Bella standing at the window, looking down at us. When she realized I saw her she ducked back into the room, letting the curtain drop.

I turned on Tanya, hands clenched, rage flowing through me like a river.

"_I swear to GOD_, Tanya, if you have screwed up anything with Bella and me I will tear you limb from limb!" She shrank back from the ferocity in my voice. I ran back towards the house, praying to all that was holy that Bella would let me explain what had happened.

I charged into the house and up the stairs. My only focus was Bella; I did not even try to hear the thoughts of my family.

I reached the door of the bedroom and paused for a moment. I took a deep breath to steady myself before knocking once and opening the door.

"Bella?" I said tentatively. I had no idea what her reaction would be. What had she seen and what meaning had she given it?

She was looking out the window, arms crossed over her chest. She was still in my t-shirt and it barely covered her bottom. Her lovely pale legs gleamed in the moon light. _Focus Edward!_

She slowly turned to face me, looking at the floor.

"Bella, I-." I started to speak but she held up her hand to stop me. She walked over towards me slowly, still looking down. She stopped in front of me and I realized she was shaking. Was she crying? I felt my heart twist. What had Tanya done?

"Please look at me." I said, hoping there was some way to repair this disaster.

She looked up at me and if my heart had been beating it would have stopped.

She was laughing! Laughing! So hard she was shaking and tears were pouring down her face.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I reached out and grabbed her by her arms, picked her up off the floor and clutched her to me. I swung around in a circle, laughing in relief.

"Don't ever do that to me again, woman. You almost gave me a heart attack!" I set her down on the ground and looked at her face. She was smiling radiantly.

"A heart attack? Now that would really be something!" She giggled.

I took her face in my hands and kissed her. I pressed kisses to her face, her cheeks, and her neck as I spoke.

"You *kiss* scared *kiss* me *kiss* to *kiss* death *kiss*. I was giddy with relief.

She started laughing again.

"I wish you could have seen your face when she kissed you, Edward. It was like someone made you eat human food or something. You looked so disgusted it was hilarious. I hope that witch finally understands once and for all that you are all mine."

"All yours, now and forever." I kissed her slowly this time, brushing my lips back and forth across hers. She sighed with pleasure. Then she yawned.

I laughed. "Come on Sleeping Beauty. Time to go back to bed."

"I would still be sleeping if someone hadn't been trying to steal the love of my life out from under my nose." She smirked.

I took her hand and led her back to the bed. She got under the covers and I laid down on top of them, next to her. She snuggled up against me, throwing her arm over me. I ran my fingers up and down her back, stopping before reaching the hem of the shirt she wore. I didn't need to tempt fate.

"Edward?" she said my name softly.

"Yes, my Bella?"

"Who changed my clothes?"

Damn!

"Um, well…you wouldn't have been comfortable in that dress but you couldn't just sleep in your…well…without any pajamas. But the ones in your bag were too…I mean…they didn't seem that comfortable either…so I figured the shirt would be better." I couldn't believe that I was stuttering. I was sure that if I were human I would be blushing.

"So you changed my clothes." It was a statement.

"Um, yes." Would she be angry?

She laughed and I felt relief pour through me.

"Well your shirt is a whole lot more comfortable than any of those lace and silk things that Alice bought me." She took a deep breath. Inhaling. "Smells better too. It smells like you. I like it."

She was quiet for a long time and I thought she had gone to sleep. Then she spoke.

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?"

"That means you saw me in my…underwear. Were you, you know, tempted at all?" She sounded embarrassed.

So tempted I had almost undressed her completely and taken her right there. So tempted that I could have crushed granite with my teeth from clenching them together. So tempted that it had taken all my self control not to rip her clothes from her body and show her the meaning of temptation. I could not say those things to her though. Not without acting on the thoughts that went with them.

"Very much," was all I said.

"Really?" She looked up at me.

I bent my head and kissed her softly before whispering in her ear.

"Very, very, very much," I said. She shuddered.

"Oh." She sounded surprised. I laughed softly.

"Now sleep, my love. You have had one hell of a long day and you need your rest."

She reached up and kissed my jaw then yawned and nestled back into my chest.

"Good night Edward."

"Good night Bella."


	6. Chapter 6

Bella had been asleep for a few hours when I heard Alice outside the door.

_Edward?_

"Yes Alice?" I said in a voice too low to wake Bella.

_Can I come in? I have something for Bella for tomorrow._

"Alright, but quietly. She had a very long day and needs to sleep."

Alice opened the door silently and walked into the room carrying several shopping bags. She placed them on the floor next to her luggage. Then she walked over to the bed and looked down at Bella, then frowned.

_Why isn't she wearing the pajamas I got her? They are all so beautiful!_

"She is more comfortable in my shirt." I was certain of that.

_Well, I am taking her shopping tomorrow so don't try to monopolize her._

"Fine, Alice. Good Night." There was no arguing with Alice.

_Goodnight Edward._ She danced her way out of the room.

Sometime later I heard the whole family gather in the living room. Carlisle called my name in his head.

_Edward we have something we all need to discuss. Can you come down for a moment?_

I sighed quietly and gently extricated myself from Bella's arms. I went downstairs and saw that my family was all seated the living room. The Denali's were hunting at the moment. I sat down and waited expectantly.

Carlisle spoke.

"I believe that we should leave for Forks within the next day or so. Unfortunately the incident with Tanya cannot be ignored. Making a pass at Edward is one thing; hurting Bella is another entirely. Edward can take care of himself but Bella is still to fragile to be around Tanya if she is going to behave this way."

I nodded. Tanya's thoughts were too clouded by jealousy to let her think clearly. She might really hurt Bella next time.

"Just let that harpy get near my little sister and I will tear her apart." Rosalie spat. Everyone looked at her, amazed. She just shrugged and looked at her nails.

_I am just starting to like her and I don't want anyone to hurt her. Besides Tanya is such a bitch anyways she doesn't deserve you Edward._

I was shocked. That was probably the nicest thing I had ever heard from Rose. I looked over at her and smiled and she gave me a faint smile back before going back to examining her nails.

"I have no problem going back early, Carlisle." I said. I saw Alice and Jasper nod in agreement.

"I'll miss the grizzlies but I would hate for something to happen to Bella that would bring Broodward back among us." Emmett said winking at me. I rolled my eyes at him and everyone laughed.

"Well we'll check with Bella in the morning and see if she is agreeable." Esme said. Carlisle nodded and I sensed the meeting was over. I went back upstairs to my Bella.

When Bella woke up in the morning I let her get dressed and went downstairs to attempt something I had never done before. Cook.

I knew Bella needed to eat breakfast so I gathered all the ingredients for pancakes. I read the instructions carefully and assembled the ingredients. Ugh, how did humans eat this stuff? It smelled terrible.

I turned on the stove to the appropriate temperature and poured the batter into the pan. I read the instructions three times to make sure I was doing this properly. I turned them according to the instructions on the box, looking over the picture to make sure they looked correct. I had to throw away two batches because they didn't look right.

I was preparing the third batch when I heard Bella enter the kitchen.

"Hey you," She said walking over to stand next to me. She looked lovely in a pair of dark jeans and soft red v-neck shirt.

"Are you hungry?" She was grinning at her joke. Like I would ever eat these things.

I looked down at her. "I hope they are alright. I don't think I have ever cooked before." I turned back to look at the pancakes. I didn't want to burn them.

"I'm sure they will be delicious." She sounded amused.

"Hmmm." I said. I wanted these to be perfect for her and I had to concentrate. It wasn't like I could taste test them myself. I flipped them onto the plate and was satisfied that they looked like the picture on the box.

Bella sat down at the table and I put the pancakes in front of her. She poured the sickeningly sweet smelling syrup on them and took a bite. I held my breath. She sighed. Were they awful?

"Are they alright?"

"Wonderful." She said. I was relieved. I cleaned up the kitchen as Bella ate. She washed her plate after she ate and we went into the living room.

Carlisle and Esme looked up when we walked in and greeted us.

"Bella, we have something to discuss with you." Carlisle said. "We are thinking of going back to Forks sooner than we had originally planned. We have discussed it with the rest of the family and want your opinion too. What do you think?" _We don't need a replay of yesterday._

"I'm ready to go back whenever you are. When do you want to leave?" Bella said.

"We were thinking of leaving tomorrow if that is not too soon for you." Esme said.

"That suits me fine." Bella replied. "Why are we going back sooner than you planned?"

_Because Tanya is apparently crazy._ Carlisle thought. He looked uncomfortable. Bella noticed his expression.

"It's because of me isn't it? Because of Tanya's reaction to me, right?" Bella sighed. I knew she would find a way blame herself for this.

"Bella, you didn't do anything." I said. Damn Tanya and her antics.

"Edward's right, Bella. It isn't your fault that Tanya can't control herself. But we do think that it is better to go now before things get out of control." He looked at her arm. _What the hell was Tanya thinking putting her hands on Bella like that?_

"Before she can hurt me again you mean." Bella said, shaking her head wearily. "Well then I guess it is better that we go. I don't want to there to be any more problems. And I would hate to cause turmoil between Tanya's family and all of you. You all have such a good bond. It would be a shame to damage that just because of me. So what time are we leaving?"

"_Just because of her"? Doesn't she know that we would do anything for her, Edward? That her being with you is so much more important to us?_ Esme thought.

I sighed and shook my head. Bella would never understand how important she was to me, to all of us.

"We are leaving at eight tomorrow morning." Carlisle said.

"Ok, sounds great." Bella said. She opened her mouth but a certain dark haired pixie dictator came down the stairs at that moment.

"Bella! We have plans to make!" She trilled.

Bella looked uneasy. "What plans?"

"For shopping of course, silly! We need to get you outfitted to go back home." _You are going to love all the new things I am getting for you today!_

I knew Alice was looking forward to this way more than Bella was. Bella sighed and I knew I was right. I watched as Alice tugged Bella out the door, Bella looking resigned and Alice looking like she just won the Bella lottery.

I occupied myself while Bella was gone by catching up with my family. I had missed them. Being away from them for so long made me realize how important to me they were. And I realized now how much they had missed me when I was gone. I made a mental promise to never do that to them again.

Emmett told me about their travels in Africa.

"You would have loved it Edward. The hunting there was amazing! We made sure to steer clear of any animal preserves and endangered species but that left a lot of other things to hunt. I even got to wrestle a crocodile!" I laughed at the excitement in his voice.

"Are they your new favorite then?" I teased.

"God, no! But they were a lot of fun. You should have been there Ed! I know you would have loved racing with the cheetahs. They might have given you a run for your money." He laughed at his joke. I laughed too but inside I felt horrible that I had missed experiencing these things with my brother.

Jasper was sitting beside me and picked up on my mood.

_Don't worry about it Edward. You can always take a trip, just you and him. You have all the time in the world, remember? One of those vampire perks._

I looked over at him and smiled. He was right. I had plenty of time to make memories with my family.

Carlisle told me that he had taken a teaching position at a local college. I could hear in his thoughts that though he loved molding young minds fighting off the amorous advances his young female students had been taxing.

"I guess we can call you Doctor _Love_ then Carlisle?" I laughed uproariously. Emmett was almost hysterical with laughter.

"I'm the only one who gets to call him that." Esme said, winking at Carlisle. Emmett groaned and Carlisle looked smug. I laughed again.

_It is so good to see Edward laugh again! _Esme thought.

I learned that Jasper and Alice had been keeping a watch over Bella while she was in Rio. I was glad to know that they had protected her. And glad that they had left just before I had found her again. Our reunion was something I held very dear to my heart right now. I was glad I hadn't had to share it with anyone except Bella.

I heard Carlisle's car pull up a few hours later. I had to restrain myself from jumping up and running out to meet them. I had more control than that, right? Bella came inside, dragging her feet. She looked completely worn out. She came over to where I was and kissed me. She stretched out on the couch next to me and rested her head on my leg. I began stroking her soft dark hair.

"Tired?" I asked. She looked so adorably worn out. I bent and kissed her on her nose.

"Alice is exhausting." She said.

_I didn't even get a third of what I need! I have so much more I to get for her once we get back home. This is just enough to get her until school starts. _ Alice was upstairs, sorting out the clothes for Bella. Though before she opened one of the bags she began reciting Othello in her head. I stopped listening figuring whatever it was she was hiding in Bella's wardrobe I would find out in good time.

I ran my fingers down Bella's cheek, reveling in its softness. Soon her eyes began to droop and she fell asleep.

Esme and Carlisle came in a little while later and stood with their arms wrapped around each other, watching me and Bella. Esme sighed and rested her head on Carlisle's chest and he ran his fingers through her hair.

_I don't have the words to express how happy I am that you two are back together, Edward. _Esme thought. I simply nodded. I was gloriously happy as well. I had forgotten how happiness felt until Bella had found me again.

Bella shivered slightly and Esme noticed. She flashed upstairs and pulled an afghan out of the linen closet. She was back downstairs a second later and placed it over Bella carefully. She stirred slightly and whispered "Thanks Momma Esme" before nestling back into my leg and falling asleep again.

Esme positively beamed.

A few hours later I could feel Bella waking up. She sat up and rubbed her eyes like a child.

"How long was I asleep?" she asked on a yawn.

"About three hours." I said and she laughed.

"Sorry. You should have moved me over so you could get up. I didn't mean to trap you there."

I could have spent the rest of eternity just watching her sleep and never tire of it.

"You can trap me whenever you want." I said laughing with her.

We had a long day ahead tomorrow and Bella went to bed early. Even after her nap she was exhausted as the last couple of days caught up with her. I let her sleep until seven but had to wake her up so we could be on our way. I forayed into the kitchen again to make her breakfast, bacon and eggs this time. She seemed to enjoy it though it still smelled dreadful to me. Emmett and Jasper loaded all the luggage into the cars and after Bella ate we said our goodbyes.

Kate pulled Bella into a hug. _Sorry Edward, but I like her and I am grateful to her for making you so happy again._ She released Bella and looked at me. I just nodded at her.

"I'm sorry that there was such drama, Bella. But I am very glad to have met you. Thanks for bring Edward back from the dead, so to speak." She laughed at her own joke and surprisingly Bella laughed with her.

"I'm glad to have met all of you too. I'm sorry about what happened but I hope we can all be friends." Bella said. _Oh, me too! I think I am really going to like her._ _She is the most unusual human I have ever met._

"Me too," Kate said.

Bella said her goodbyes to the rest of the Denali's and we all loaded up into our vehicles.

Tanya had not returned.

Bella and I were going to drive straight to Forks in my Volvo. Emmett and Rosalie were going to follow Alice and Jasper in the M3 so they could drop off the rental car. Carlisle and Esme were in the Mercedes. I knew that they all would arrive back home before Bella and I since we had to stop to accommodate what she called her "human moments". Besides that she would have an anxiety attack if I went over 125mph, and even then she only grudgingly allowed it by pretending not to look at the speedometer. I took the opportunity to drive with real speed when she was asleep. Even though it felt like we were crawling home sometimes I enjoyed my uninterrupted Bella time. When we got back to Forks I would have to share her more and more. I cringed internally. I had only just gotten her back and the knowing I would soon have to split time with Charlie and school and my family made me resentful of losing that time. I had missed her face every second for the last six months. She was all I had been able to think about, the only thing that had made my existence feel real at all. I coveted every moment with her now.

We talked about school and about Charlie and Renee. She asked me what I had been up to while we were apart. I told her about the places that I had traveled to and the things that I had seen, having to exaggerate at times. I did not want her to know how I spent most of the time isolated from everything and everyone. I did not tell her about the crushing pain and loneliness that I had felt when I was away from her. I did not tell her that seeing her face in my mind a thousand times a day was both the sweetest pleasure and most horrible torture I had ever endured. Perceptive as always though, she could sense the change in my mood and changed the subject when she saw how sad it made me.

We finally made it home after three days on the road. The trip normally took just under two days, as the vampire drives. When we pulled into the garage and grabbed the luggage Emmett's voice called out from inside the house.

"Took you long enough Edward! Did you guys stop and sightsee or something? Or were you trying to get out of unpacking everything?" _Or did you stop to have a little fun?_ He laughed.

I rolled my eyes at his humor. "Funny, Em. I assume that you guys left me my room to unpack anyway, right?"

"Hell yes. No one can figure out the weird way you have your music arranged. Besides the fact that it would take _forever_ to unpack all of it anyway." _You are the most anal retentive vampire I have ever met. _

Esme and Carlisle came out of the library then.

"I did make your bed and hang up your clothes Edward." Esme said.

I swear I had the best mother in the entire world. I walked over and put my arm around her, then kissed her on the top of her head. I grinned at her and she grinned back.

"Thanks, Mom. You're the best." _You're worth it son._

I took the bags up to my room and saw that it looked much like the last time we had lived here before. Esme had swapped the couch for a bed since Bella would be staying with us for a few more days. It was a large wrought iron bed with a dark blue coverlet and dark gray sheets. There were several soft pillows as well. I was grateful to Esme for thinking of it. I saw several boxes on the floor and knew that they were my music and journals. I decided to put them away later and went back downstairs.

The next two days I spent as much time as I could with Bella and my family. Bella was looking up information about Brazil online. She said it was all in keeping with the charade of her "humanitarian efforts". She always smirked at me when she said it for some reason and when I asked her why she laughed and said it was because of the irony of bringing me back to "life", back to humanity so to speak. I laughed with her and realized that she was right. She had brought me back to life; she had saved me from myself. I was nothing without her and being with her allowed me to feel more human than I ever though possible. This woman was my miracle.

The second day we were home was the hardest I'd had since Bella had found me in Rio. Alice had practically kidnapped her that morning after Bella had eaten breakfast. They were going shopping in Seattle. I was restless after they left and decided to go hunting. I needed something to do to keep my mind off missing Bella. I found two elk and drained them quickly. I was still feeling restless and now full of energy after hunting. I decided to run. I paid no attention to where my feet were taking me, I simply ran. I was surprised therefore to find myself in the meadow. Our meadow. It seemed even more magical now. There were so many memories of Bella in this meadow and I felt almost dizzy as they all swirled through my head. If not for Bella decision to seek me out we would not have the opportunity to make more memories in this glorious place. I felt my dead heart clench at the thought. How could I have been so stupid? Letting her go was the most foolish thing I had ever done. I could see that now. Could see that I had been deluding myself into thinking that I could live without her. I had felt empty, hollow without her. Now with her by my side I felt complete. Whole. I felt like I could face anything as long as I was with her. She might be fragile by human standards but in her heart she was stronger than me. Even though my leaving had hurt her she had tried to live. To try to be normal, try to survive. Then to make the decision to find me, to come and seek me out though she had no way of knowing what I would do or say amazed me more and more. I don't know if I would ever be able to match her strength of heart. I truly did not deserve her but I would always cherish her.

I spent a few more hours in the meadow. Drawing strength from just being there. I ran home rather leisurely and found Emmett and Jasper playing video games. Carlisle was at work, Esme was upstairs working on an interior decorating scheme and Rosalie was in the garage, tinkering with my Volvo.

_No one has really driven this thing in months and it needed a tune up. _She thought as I walked by.

"Thanks Rose, I appreciate it." I said. She 'harrumphed' in response.

I spent the next few hours playing video games and arguing playfully with my brothers while surreptitiously watching the clock. How long did it take to shop anyway? I knew that Alice loved to marathon shop but she had to realize that Bella was not as indefatigable as she was. I was tempted to call Bella just to hear her voice when my phone buzzed.

**Don't you dare call her. This is our day. We will be leaving to come home in ten minutes. Get a grip and we will see you in an hour or so. Alice.**

Well I could wait an hour, right?

After fifteen minutes I was tapping my foot. After thirty my leg was bouncing up and down in impatience as I sat on the couch.

_Edward, get a grip! You are killing me with this. She will be home soon. If you have to twitch and fidget at least go upstairs. _Jasper was feeling the strain of my impatience.

I took his advice and went upstairs. Fifteen minutes later I was still pacing the floor. I stopped and ran my fingers through my hair. What was wrong with me? I had to get myself under control. She had only been gone a few hours. Well several hours. Well almost the whole day really. If I was this restless and needy after only one day apart from her what was it going to be like when she was back home and I could not be around her every minute of the day? I could not imagine. I did not want to imagine.

I missed her face, her beautiful eyes, her scent. Wait. Her scent. I looked around my room. On the bed was the t-shirt that she had worn to sleep. I picked it up and held it to my face, inhaling her scent. Like in Denali I felt instantly calmer, more grounded. I stood there, holding her shirt to my face. I heard Jasper heave a sigh of relief downstairs.

_I don't want to know what you are doing to calm down, but thanks bro._

I stood there for a moment, luxuriating in her scent. It took me a moment to realize that I felt no bloodlust, only a slight burning in the back of my throat. The most overpowering thing I felt now was love for Bella.

I did not have time to really think about though. I heard the Mercedes coming down the driveway. I was down the stairs and out the front door before the car had pulled into the garage. I leapt off the porch and sped to the passenger side door. I pulled open the door as Bella unbuckled her seatbelt and grabbed her as she stepped out. I pulled her into a hug, feeling complete now that she was in my arms. She tilted her head up towards me and I kissed her soft lips. Her hands found their way into my hair and she tugged slightly. I reveled in the sensation.

I smiled when I realized that I had not even said hello before needing to kiss her. I pulled away from the kiss to whisper in her ear.

"I missed you."

"I can tell." She said, laughing breathlessly. "I missed you too."

I kissed her again, needing her lips against mine.

_Edward, we need to get all this stuff inside so I can get it all sorted out._

I ignored Alice's petulant thoughts. She'd had Bella all day; now it was my turn.

_Edward!_

Alice realized that she was getting nowhere with me and tried a different tactic.

"Bella, we have to get all this into the house. Come _on_." She tugged on the arm that Bella had around my neck, pulling her from the kiss.

"Alice! Geez! Be careful! That arm still hurts. How can someone so tiny be the biggest annoyance in the world?" Bella was exasperated. I was too. I was nowhere near done kissing her.

"Sorry Bella, but I need to sort all this out. You can kiss Edward any time." _Just a few more minutes Edward then she is all yours._

"Thank God for that." I said before Bella dragged me into the house with an arm full of shopping bags.

We carried the bags into the house and upstairs.

_These go in my room, Edward. And no peeking in the bags or in my head. _

The meaning of her statement became clearer when Bella asked why the bags were in Alice's room and not mine. When Alice tapped her head and Bella nodded in understanding I knew that she had purchased something special for some vision she might have had. Alice was translating War and Peace into Chinese in her head so I knew I was right.

"I'll bring everything to your room once it's sorted out Bella. I am going to have to go over everything with you anyway to make sure you know how to put it all together." Alice told her. She began pulling garments out of the bags.

Bella lay down on the bed and groaned in frustration. I knew she wanted her clothes to be comfortable and uncomplicated. A difficult task when Alice was the one picking them.

I laughed at her frustrated expression and decided to steal her away from Alice. And I needed to discuss something with her.

"Come on, Bella. Let Alice figure all this stuff out. She will call you when she is ready. I want to talk to you about something anyway."

I reached out my hand to her and she leaned up and grasped it. Using a tiny amount of my strength I pulled her up off the bed and into my arms. She encircled my waist with her arms and nestled her face into my chest, taking in a deep breath. Inhaling my scent I realized. I wondered if it had the same effect on her that it had on me. She raised her head to look at me and I smiled down at her, loving her arms around me.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked.

"Let's talk about it in my room." I looped my arm around her waist and drew her out of the room.

We walked down the hallway to my room and she crawled up onto my bed, sitting with her legs crossed and a curious expression on her face. I sat down facing her in same position. I wanted to talk to her about this since Carlisle had brought it up to me but had not felt like the time was right until now.

"Ok, so what's up?" I heard her heartbeat pick up and the anxiety in her voice.

"I wanted to talk to you about Charlie. We will be taking you home in a few days and I don't know what his reaction is going to be when he realizes that we are back together. Carlisle will go to the hospital tomorrow and ask for his position back and the way that gossip travels he will certainly know that we are here very soon." I heard her breathing become more stable and her heartbeat slow. Apparently she was not as worried about this as I was.

"I can't say for certain what his reaction will be. I know that he is going to be mad at you for sure. He blames you for everything that I went through when you were away." I winced at the reminder of the pain that I had caused the both of us and she placed her hand on my face to comfort me.

"Edward, _I_ know why you left and even though I still can't believe you would do something so selfish I understand. Charlie won't be so easy to convince. Especially since you can't tell him the whole reason."

My mind stopped. Literally stopped. Then it started running again at full speed. It clung to one word, repeating it over and over again in my ear.

Selfish.

What the hell did that mean? She thought that when I left I was being selfish? How in the hell did she come to that conclusion? I left _for_ her, because of her, because I loved her too much to stay. I had torn out my heart to give her a better life and she thought I was _selfish_? Leaving her was the hardest thing I had ever done in my very long life and she thought I did it for self-serving reasons? I was suddenly angry.

"_Selfish! _You think I was being _selfish? _I left to protect you! I didn't want you to be hurt any more! I wanted you to be safe and happy! _Selfish!_" I said the word with as much disdain as I could muster. She scowled at me.

"Yes Edward, selfish." Her voice was intense. "_You_ took it upon yourself to decide what was best for _us_. _You _chose the direction of our relationship, no matter how good your intentions were. _You _took it upon yourself to decide what _my _future would be without even consulting me. That is not what couples do. Decisions need to be made together. I get that you wanted to protect me; that you didn't want to see me hurt. But leaving me hurt me more than James or Victoria or even Tyler's van could ever have done. They only would have hurt me physically. You ripped out my heart and crushed it in your hand when you spoke to me in the forest that day."

If my heart was beating it would have stopped. She had never directly spoken about how much it hurt her when I left. To hear her state it in such bald terms horrified me. How could I have hurt her so much? I saw her point. I had never consulted her, never told her my feelings. I wanted her to be safe but never let her have a say in the matter. Maybe if I had we would never have had to part. Maybe I _was_ selfish. Maybe it was my own fears that had made me run away. Fear that I would be the one that would hurt her. Me. A thought I could not bear. But when I left I hurt her anyway. I _was_ a monster.

"Look, I know you think that you have to protect me from yourself, that you think you are some kind of monster but you're not Edward." I wondered if she could read _my _mind. I looked away and shook my head. She was wrong. She grabbed my chin and forced me to look into her eyes.

"Look at me." I saw her wince slightly at the sadness I am sure she saw in mine.

"You. Are. Not. A. Monster. A monster would have drunk my blood the very moment he smelled it in that classroom. A monster would have let that van crush me because I am just a simple human and what did my life matter anyway. A monster would not have saved me from the men in Port Angeles. A monster would have left me on my own in the baseball field and let James kill me. A monster would _not_ have danced with me at Prom because he thought that it was important for me to be human as much as possible. A monster could not have fallen in love with me or held me and kissed me with such gentleness. Everything you have ever done towards me just reinforces how very unlike a monster you are."

I could only stare. Having her recount all those memories to me-I was astounded. She really did not see me as a monster, even after everything she had been through because of me. Her faith in me was astounding.

"Listen, Edward. I know that above all else you value my safety and wellbeing. And I appreciate it, I really do. I have the worst luck in the world and having my own Vampire Superhero has its advantages." I smiled slightly, remembering that day in the cafeteria when I had asked her to tell me her theories, when she was still trying to figure out what kind of creature I was. And even now, after knowing what I was, she did not run and scream. Amazing.

"But you have to realize that hurting me to keep me from getting hurt is counter-productive. If we are going to be together-really and truly together-we have to be partners, equals. _You _can't decide what is best for _me_. _We_ have to decide what is best for _us_."

She was right, again. I had been making all the decisions, making choices for the both of us. I had never really consulted her about anything. Just made the decision and followed through, cajoling her or dazzling her until she went along. I could see how she would feel inadequate or insecure in our relationship. I had never meant to make her feel like we were not equal. I was so used to doing whatever I wanted that I had overlooked her input completely. I was such an ass.

"I'm sorry Bella." I said sadly. "I didn't think of it that way. All I could see was how exposure to me and my world-the reality of what I am-was hurting you."

"I know that. And I know that you think I am in more danger around you than I am when I am away from you but you are wrong. I can't even count the number of near death experiences I had before I even moved from Phoenix. I am so pathologically clumsy it is a miracle I ever made it past ten years old. Add a heaping dose of bad luck on top of that and it is lucky that you ever met me at all."

I was appalled. Never have met her? I could not even entertain the thought, the possibility, that Bella might never have entered my life. I realized now all the little pieces of fate that had come together to form my destiny. Bella's parents divorce and separation. Our coming to Forks. Bella's selflessness to leave her mother to come live with her father. Her scent and quiet mind. All these things had brought us together. I could not imagine another century feeling as I did before Bella came along and turned my entire world upside down.

Bella continued. "All I am saying is when you chose to leave me you took it upon yourself to decide my future. And no one has that right except me. I might make mistakes, do things that hurt me physically or emotionally, but those are my mistakes to make. As much as you hate it you have to let me make those choices."

I wrapped my arms around her.

"Bella, I never wanted to do that to you. I only wanted you to have a happy life. If that meant I wasn't in it then I was prepared to make that sacrifice. Nothing is more important to me than your happiness. I want to give you everything; I don't want my presence in your life to deprive you of all those human experiences."

She pressed her face into my shoulder.

"Edward, you have given me everything, just by being with me."

I scoffed at the notion and sat back. Was she crazy? I was taking away all the human things in her life just by being around her and she thought I was giving her everything?

"Just listen. What do you think my life would have been like if I had never met you? I can tell you. I would have come here, tried to fit in with everyone, tried to be normal though I have never felt like I was. I would have lived with Charlie, graduated high school. I would not to college because I would never be able to afford it. I would have ended up working at some dead end job that robbed me of brain cells and ended up marrying someone like Mike and been miserable when he cheated on me with a waitress and ran off with her. Is that the type of life you would want me to live?"

I could not believe that she had put so much thought into this. Though I would hope that in her parallel universe, the one where I did not exist, that she would have better sense than to pick someone like Mike Newton.

"You see, I have thought about it. That is not the type of life I would want to live, not what can make me happy. _You _make me happy. Having a life with you, whatever that life entails-good or bad-is more important to me than anything in the world. I don't have the words to make you understand that my life began with you."

She looked up at me with a helpless expression on her face. I could tell that she was trying to express to me how much she loved me. And just like me she could not find enough words to convey the depth of her feelings. I raised her chin and kissed her lips.

"I do understand what you mean. Because I feel exactly the same way. I could never go back to my life the way it was before. I don't know how I ever existed at all before I met you. I don't even think it qualifies as an existence. My heart hasn't beat in ninety years Bella but being with you makes me feel more alive than I ever did when I was still human. I just can't stand the thought of you being hurt just because of your proximity to me. If something were to happen to you, if you"-I could barely say the word -"died, I would not be able to exist. I could never exist in a world where you did not." Thinking about her dying, of having to live without her, caused me actual physical pain. She reached up and thread her warm fingers into my hair. I closed my eyes and pressed my head into her caress. Her touch soothed me.

"Then I guess you better stick as close to me as possible Edward Cullen because the only time I am ever truly safe is when I am with you." I opened my eyes swiftly to see her smiling at me. She was right. Being by her side at all times was the best way to protect her from danger. I suddenly began relishing my job as Vampire Superhero.

I grinned at her. "I am never _ever_ going to let you go again. I can't see how I did it the first time. And I know that _not _having you in my life is the worst torture imaginable." I kissed her lips before pulling away and laughing at her pout. I schooled my features before speaking.

"And I'm really and truly sorry for trying to take your choices away from you. I honestly never saw it that way. I want us to be partners-equals-in our decisions. But please understand that I will slip up from time to time. I doubt you truly understand how obsessively overprotective I am of you. You are everything to me, my whole life, my reason for living and I want to keep you around. That will lead me to do some things you find high-handed or overbearing. Just tell me when I am and we will talk about it. And I promise to listen." I smiled at her, though I meant every word. I would never give her a reason to feel like she was not my equal in our relationship.

"Don't worry I will." She said laughing. "And I promise to listen when you are being high-handed and overbearing. Just don't expect me to always agree."

"Deal." I said and kissed my angel's lips to seal it.

"So, where were we before we decided what a selfish idiot I am?" I asked, smiling.

"Talking about how to deal with Charlie I think." She said, smiling back at me. I took her left hand in mine and started playing with her fingers, one in particular, though she did not notice.

"I don't see how we are going to reintroduce you into my life without him being angry, Edward. But I am a legal adult and I can make my own choices." Yes, she could and she chose me. I smiled at the thought.

"I just don't want him to be angry with you for taking me back." I knew how important her relationship to her father was and I did not want to be the one to disrupt that.

"I can handle it if he is. I just want you to be prepared because I am sure he will say some very-well-_uncomplimentary_ things about you and to you." No doubt about that.

"I understand, and I deserve them anyway. Have you thought about what you are going to tell him about how we got back together?" I asked.

"Actually I have. I will sound it out on you and we can make changes if we have to."

I was very interested in what her mind had come up with. She was always so full of surprises.

"Well, I had planned on telling him that while I was in Brazil with Alice and Jasper you came down to aid in their humanitarian efforts. But through some crazy miscommunication you didn't know that I would still be there. You thought that I was back in Forks. We meet up, get to talking and realize that everything that happened was a big misunderstanding and we sort it out and get back together." It sounded plausible.

"It actually sounds pretty good." I said, smiling. "What is the misunderstanding that we had?" This was the part I was interested in the most. What reason would she come up with?

"You thought that we were getting too serious too fast. You wanted to make sure that what you felt for me was real and not just infatuation. You knew your family would be leaving to go to L.A. and decided that the time apart would be good for us. I, on the other hand, thought you were telling me that you didn't love me and didn't want to be with me. So I didn't call you and you thought that I didn't want to be with you so you didn't call me either."

It made a lot of sense in the context of a teenage romance. Which I guess we were, technically anyway. With my gift I knew that silly arguments often turned into week or longer fights that ended relationships, all because a lack of communication. Charlie should see this too, I hoped.

"Deceptively simple and devious, my love. Enough truth in there so you won't have to use your atrocious lying skills. I think it will work. I will of course have to apologize to Charlie for what I put you through. But I think we can do it." I grinned at her.

"Well terrible lying skills aside, it will be hard to convince him but I think you are right, we can do it. Together."

"Together always, my love." Together. It was my mantra. I kissed her lips, giving her my love and my promise. Together, always.

We decided to give Charlie a day to hear the gossip of our return and get somewhat used to the idea. Alice and Jasper were taking Bella home. Alice had had a vision that everything would turn out fine but I desperately wanted to be there when Bella told Charlie. She should not have to do this alone. But I was overruled by both Bella and my family. Charlie should have some time with just Bella and some time to get used to our reconciliation before seeing me again.

The next day Bella called Charlie and told him that she would be home at two the next afternoon. Charlie seemed excited that Bella was home. I made the most of my last night with Bella before real life intruded. We sat in my room, listening to music, sometimes talking or just laying together. I sang her to sleep and watched her for a long time. I used this night to find the strength needed to let her go, to let her rejoin her life. It was very difficult but by morning I felt calmer, more stable. I knew that I would be able to endure my time apart from her. It would make the times we spent together that much sweeter.

Alice and Jasper loaded up her luggage and took her to her home the next day.

I watched them pull out of the driveway and decided in that moment that I could not let her be alone when she talked to Charlie. I had to be with her.

My phone buzzed at that moment.

**Not a good idea, Edward. She has to do this alone, for herself and for Charlie. If you have to be there stay upstairs. It is not going to be pleasant for you so don't say I didn't warn you. Alice**

I knew Alice was right. Bella needed this. She needed to feel strong. But I would be in her room. Nearby in case she needed me.

I ran to her house, easily beating them there. I listened but could find no active thoughts around me so I leapt up and into her window. I sat in the rocking chair waiting for them to arrive.

I heard the Mercedes as it drove down the street. It crunched on the gravel of the driveway and I heard the relief and joy in Charlie's thoughts when he realized that it was Bella.  
I saw in Alice's mind the hug that Charlie gave Bella and heard the surprise in her laughing response_. Oh he missed her so much, how sweet._

I heard them walk inside and Jasper's footsteps on the stairs. He opened the bedroom door and looked over to find me sitting in the rocking chair.

_Figured you could not stay away. Alice told me that this was going to be hard on you. I hope you are ready for that._

"Ready for what?" I asked at vampire speed.

_I am not entirely certain but I think you might hear some things that upset you. That is the most that I could get from Alice._

I listened in to Alice's mind but she was not thinking about her vision so I could not see what he meant. Well I would just have to deal with it when the time came.

"Thanks Jazz. I think I'll be okay."

Jasper just shrugged and put her luggage down beside her bed.

I heard Charlie asking Alice how long she was in town for and heard Alice give our decided upon story. Jasper walked out the door, no doubt feeling Charlie's emotions.

Charlie's thoughts were angry. I got a brief vision of my face and then flashing images of his gun. This was not good.

But his voice was even when he asked Alice if we _all _be moving back. All meaning _me_. Alice did not come out and say my name directly but inferred that I would be here too.

Jasper made it down to them then.

"Well Charlie I am sure that you want to catch up with Bella." Jasper said in his calm voice. "We will be going now."

Alice was protesting in her thoughts but allowed herself to be dragged away and out the door, telling Bella she would call her. _It's going to be okay Bella! _I heard her think.

I heard suspicion in Charlie's thoughts as Bella told him to come sit in the living room.

"Ok Bells, spill it. What is going on?" He asked sternly.

"Alright, I suppose you can guess that Edward is back in town." She said tentatively.

I heard the rage and protectiveness in his thoughts when Bella told him the story we had concocted. I heard his heartbeat accelerate dangerously high before he took several breaths to calm himself.

"So you are just going to take him back after everything that happened?"

"Dad, it was as much my fault as his!" That was very much not true but I knew that it was part of the lie.

"So while he was off gallivanting in L.A. having a grand ole' time you were here walking around like a zombie and that is not his fault?"

I had several flashes of Bella from Charlie's mind at that moment. They were clearer than any thoughts I'd had from him, possibly from the depth of his emotions. The images were somewhat indistinct though clear enough to hit me like a tidal wave.

Bella being carried in a tall man's arms, covered in leaves and mud, saying 'he's gone' over and over. Bella screaming out my name in the middle of the night. Bella staring off into nothing for hours. The lifeless way she answered any question. The dead look in her eyes when she looked at Charlie.

I grabbed at my head, pulling my hair, as the images flooded into my mind. I had no idea-none whatsoever-that my leaving would do that to her. I thought that she would get over me, move on and find a way to be happy. Not completely disconnect from her life, become a "zombie" like Charlie said. How could I have underestimated her feelings so much? I had thought once that her fragile human mind would not be able to comprehend the magnitude of my love for her but I see now I was wrong. The love that she felt for me was as strong as I felt for her. And I had taken that away. I really had crushed her like she said.

Remorse filled me, flooded my mind until I was dizzy. What had I done to her? Destroyed her. Made her a shell of her usual beautiful self. How she did not hate me with every fiber of her being was beyond me.

"So are you two back together?" I heard Charlie say. He hoped we weren't but knew what Bella's answer would be before she spoke.

"Yes, we are. Dad, I know that you don't want to hear this but I love him and he loves me. Being apart was really hard on both of us." I did not know until now how hard it had really been for her.

I heard Charlie muttering under his breath. "What the hell am I going to do with these damn over-emotional teenagers?"

"Bella, please understand that I only want you to be happy. You do look better than I have seen you look in months. You have color in your face and your eyes are alive for the first time in a long time. Seeing you the way you were when he left almost broke my heart. I don't want to ever see you that unhappy ever again. I _will_ kill Edward if he ever causes you that kind of misery ever again. No one hurts my baby." Charlie's thoughts were so full of love and possessiveness for his only daughter.

Bella told him that I made her feel alive and promised him that I would not leave her again. I wouldn't, not now that I knew how horrible it was on both of us to be apart.

"Well you may not believe me but I was young once too. I fell in love with your Mom when we were just kids like you and Edward so I do know how crazy and out of control it can make you feel. But I mean it when I say he had better never do anything like this to you again. And I want to talk to him within the next few days. I have some things I want to say to him."

I had some things I wanted to say to him too. Apologies and promises I had to make.

I heard Bella ask him not to be too hard on me but in a perverse way I wanted him too. Bella had been so generous, so accepting of my foolish actions and I felt like I needed him to yell and scream at me. To completely hold me accountable for what I did.

It made no sense and complete sense to me at the same time.

"Thanks Dad. Love you." Bella whispered.

"Love ya too Bells." He replied. His thoughts were still unsettled but he did want Bella to be happy, no matter what that meant.

I heard Bella moving around the kitchen then the smell of human food cooking. I was still overwhelmed by what Charlie's memories had shown me. I replayed them in my mind, sadness filling me. I got up and stood in the corner near the window. Bella's footsteps got closer and she opened the door and came into the bedroom. I was instantly bombarded by her sweet scent. I did not deserve to be with some one so wonderful when all I did was hurt her.

I heard the door close behind her and she gasped when she saw me in the corner. I could not speak.

"Geez, you startled me. I didn't know you were going to be here. I thought you were going to come over later." She said. She walked over to me and put her arms around me.

I could not return her embrace. I was not worthy of her.

"Edward? What's wrong? Are you okay?" She looked into my eyes and I know she saw all the sadness and regret pouring out of me. She stepped back from the intensity. I still could not find my voice to speak. There was so much I wanted to say to her and I knew it still would not be enough.

"Edward, please tell me what is wrong. You are scaring me." Her voice was thick with worry. I could not bear it. I pulled her into my arms and rested my head against her soft hair. I needed her so much I could feel myself tremble.

"You have to tell me what is wrong, Edward. Please, I can't stand to see you like this. What has happened? Please, please talk to me." She said. The pleading tone of her voice forced me to speak.

"Oh, Bella." I said, my voice cracking. "Bella, I am so, so sorry. I didn't know-I mean I had no idea-I didn't expect you would-that it would be so hard on you." How could I have forced her to endure so much?

"Edward, what are you talking about?"

I pulled her over to the bed and sat down, drawing her into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her hair, breathing her scent in deep. I needed the calm it gave me.

"I could hear in his thoughts what you went through while I was gone. I had no idea that you would suffer so much. That I was leaving you so broken. I would never have left if I had known how much you would have to endure."

She reached up and took my face in her soft warm hands. I could see tears swimming in her eyes.

"Listen to me. You cannot keep doing this to yourself. Seeing you in pain like this hurts me more than your leaving did. You have got to stop tormenting yourself with this." She lifted her lips to mine and kissed me.

"Yes, it hurt me when you left. Yes, I was disconnected from my life for a while, until I had that accident. You feel like you are to blame and in a way you are. I am not angry about the reasons _why_ you left, only they way you did it. You only had the best of intentions. I understand that. But you have to stop this self-reproach. You feel guilty, I know that, but you have to find a way to get over it. I can't stand to see you like this."

"I deserve this pain Bella. The one thing that I never wanted to do was hurt you and in the end I hurt you more than anyone else ever could." I could hear the pain in my voice.

"And I forgive you for it Edward. Completely and wholeheartedly. You have my full and free forgiveness. I want to live in the present, not dwell in the past. We cannot move forward in our life together if we have this dragging us down."

She forgives me. My mind repeated those words over and over. She was right. There was no way we could be happy if I kept dwelling on this. I _had_ to let it go. Focus on Bella and our future together. I looked deep into her eyes. I saw complete love and trust and understanding. She was so remarkable. I smiled at my own personal angel and kissed her. She had forgiven me and now it was time to forgive myself.

"Why do you love me so much? What did I ever do to deserve you in my life?" I asked.

The smile she gave me was glorious. "I could ask you the same question."

I could only laugh and hug her to me tightly.

Bella began to unpack her new clothes and I lay down on the bed to watch her. She moved methodically, though still somewhat clumsily, back and forth between her closet and her luggage. She stopped for a moment and turned to me.

"I'm sure you know but Charlie wants to talk to you in a few days."

"I know. I am surprised that he took it so well. Even though his thoughts were still angry with me he was resigned to the fact that we are back together. I will call him tomorrow." The sooner the better I thought.

"You know, school starts in a week. Are you ready for that?" There was apprehension in her voice and it took me a moment to determine its cause. Then I realized that all our classmates would have memories of Bella from the time that we were gone. And since Alice and I were back in school it would bring all those memories to the forefront as the gossip mongers feasted on us.

"Yes, I think I can handle it. It will be hard but having you with me in all my classes will help."

She frowned. "What do you mean all of your classes? How do you know that?"

"Well, Jazz is a computer genius and he hacked into the school database and changed my schedule." I smirked at her. Jazz could do anything with computers and it had not taken much persuasion at all to get him to change my schedule.

Bella was smiling too but then I saw it fade quickly. All the blood drained from her face and fear took its place. I was immediately alarmed.

"Bella? What's wrong? Are you ok?" I could hear the frantic note in my voice.

"_All _my classes? Even Gym?" her voice squeaked.

Was that why she was alarmed?

"Well, yes. Is that a problem?"

She looked at me incredulously.

"Edward, I cannot bear to have you see me in Gym class. It is bad enough to have you watch me through everyone else while I am in there. To have you there with me would be beyond humiliating."

Was that all? I loved watching her no matter what she did. Her clumsiness only endeared her to me more.

"Bella, you are being silly." I said laughing. "I think everything you do is adorable. There is no reason to be humiliated. I think your clumsiness is endearing."

She opened her mouth to reply when her cell phone went off, indicating a new text message. She opened it up and read the message, a smile forming on her lovely lips. I leaned over and read the message.

**Jasper is changing his schedule now. He will have gym first period and you will have it last period. Knew Charlie would be ok with things. Talk to you soon! Alice.**

Damned interfering pixie!


	7. Chapter 7

Edward

I left Bella's house early the next morning. I kissed her briefly before slipping out the window. I wanted to spend the day with her but I had things of my own that I needed to do. Hunting was one of them. Spending so much time with Bella meant that I had to hunt more often. Even though I did not feel the familiar bloodlust my throat still burned if I spent too much time around her without hunting. I ran to the forest and took down two elk and a deer.

Afterwards I sat on a large boulder and looked out into the forest. I could not believe how much calmer I felt after talking to Bella last night. She had forgiven me for leaving her, for hurting her. Now I was working on forgiving myself. Could I do it? Could I forgive myself for causing her so much pain? I knew that I had to, that I had to find a way to get past this. I knew that it was the only way that Bella and I could move forward. I was unsure of where to start though. I decided that I needed to talk to someone. And that someone was Carlisle.

I ran back to the house and changed my clothes. I sent Bella a text message, figuring that she was probably asleep and would read it when she woke up. I got in my Volvo and drove to the hospital. I walked in through the double doors and searched until I could hear my father's thoughts. He was in his office. Perfect.

I knocked though I knew he heard me outside the door.

"Come in."

I opened the door and saw him closing a manila folder on his desk, a patient's file.

"Hello Edward. What can I do for you?" He asked.

"I need some advice Carlisle."

_Of course, son. What is the problem?_

"It's about Bella. Well, about Bella and me." I hesitated.

_I'm listening._

I sat down on his soft leather couch and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Well, Bella and I were talking last night and she told me that she forgives me for leaving her and hurting her so badly."

_That is excellent son. She is a wonderful girl._

"I know. She told me that I need to forgive myself for what I did but I just don't know how to go about it. I have hurt her so much. How can I forgive myself for that, ever?"

_Edward, I am sure that Bella has told you this, but you cannot torture yourself with this forever. Especially since forever for you is a really long time._ He smiled slightly.

I nodded. She had told me that.

_Yes, you hurt her when you left. You made a decision that hurt you both. You can't take that decision back. But you can try to see the good in it._

"Good? What possible good did it do? We were both completely miserable, Carlisle."

_Consider the changes in the relationship since you have gotten back together. Bella seems stronger, more confident in herself and you. You have finally started to realize that she loves you as much as you love her. She is standing up for herself in your relationship, not allowing you to make all the decisions but instead becoming an active partner with you. You understand now that you cannot make rash decisions that affect you both without discussing it with her. You _both_ understand how much you mean to each other now that you have had this time apart. You _both_ understand that neither of you is whole without the other. This separation has made your relationship stronger._

I sat and stared at him. Everything he had said was the truth.

"But I hurt her so much Carlisle. I can't ignore that."

_No, but you can decide to let it go. You can decide that what you have with Bella now is more important than tormenting yourself with the past. And it _is_ the past Edward. It has to be. Carrying it around in your pocket now will only poison your relationship. It will infiltrate every corner of your lives together. If all you can see is the pain you caused in the past you will miss all the joy you two can have together in the present and in the future. Is that what you want?_

"No, of course not. But how do I let it go?" I had no idea what to do.

_Just be with Bella now. In the present. There will always be reminders for both you and Bella. But instead of wallowing in misery when they happen, use them instead to remind yourself of how much happier and stronger you both are now that you are back together. Think of them as positive reinforcement._

Could I do that? Could I just decide to be happy now, right now, with Bella? I thought about it for a moment. Yes. Yes, I could. My relationship with Bella now was too important. I could not hurt her more by continuing to torment myself with this. Especially since she had forgiven me so completely. Not forgiving myself when she asked me to would be throwing her forgiveness back in her face. I could not do that to her. I made up my mind. No matter what happened now I would not allow the past to hurt our future.

I saw my face in Carlisle's thoughts, saw the fierce determination there.

_I can see that you have made up your mind Edward and I am glad. You both deserve to be happy now. We cannot change the past but we can learn from it. Use your past experiences to make the future stronger. I know you can do this. And I am always here to talk if you need it._

I stood up and took Carlisle in a hug. He was startled at first but quickly hugged me back.

"Thank you Carlisle. Thank you so much."

_Anytime son, anytime._

I drove back home feeling like a mountain had been lifted from my shoulders. Carlisle always knew the right things to say. I hoped that I would one day have even a little of his wisdom.

I realized as I drove up to my house that Bella had not responded to my text. She must be more tired than I thought. I sent her another message, asking her to call me when she woke up.

I went inside and saw Emmett and Jasper playing video games. I decided to play with them for a while until Bella called me. I missed the camaraderie with my brothers.

I sat and waited my turn. They were playing Mario Kart. Jasper was winning. He was using his gift to manipulate Emmett. Just when they were reaching the finish line he would send a wave of confusion and frustration at Emmett, causing him to falter and Jasper would speed past him and win. Emmett spouted some rather imaginative curse words until Esme called down from her study, reminding him about language. I took over from Emmett. Jasper and I were pretty evenly matched. He tried to block his thoughts from me but I knew his playing style and could pretty much determine what he would do. He tried to distract me by sending waves of frustration towards me but I grit my teeth and ignored it as best as possible. When he could see that was not working he tried a different tactic.

Suddenly I was hit square between the eyes by a tidal wave of lust. It slammed into me, forcing me to jerk back and lose my grip on the game controller for a moment. It was enough for Jasper to cross the finish line a few seconds ahead of me. I dropped the controller and leaned forward with my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands, trying to calm myself down. I felt completely out of control and harder than I had ever been in my life. My body felt like it was thrumming with sexual tension.

"Dammit Jasper! That was completely uncalled for." Jasper was laughing uproariously.

"Hey it worked didn't it?" He was still laughing.

_Maybe you should go find Bella to help you take care of that "situation" Edward. _Jasper thought.

"Paybacks a bitch Jasper, remember that." Jasper only laughed harder.

I sat there for a few more minutes until I felt under control and went upstairs to my room. I checked my phone. Bella had still not called me. That was strange. She was usually very prompt in returning messages or calling me. I decided to go over and see her. Charlie should be at work.

I quickly showered and changed my clothes. I ran over to her house quickly and saw Charlie's cruiser in the yard. Bella's truck was gone. I could hear no movement in the house. I decided to brave Charlie's anger and knocked on the door. Nothing. I called Bella's phone and it went straight to voicemail.

"Bella? Where are you, love? I came by the house but your truck is gone? Are you with Charlie? Please call me when you get this. I miss you. I love you. Bye."

I sent her a text as well, asking her to call me.

I ran back home and realized that I could have asked Alice all along where Bella was.

I went upstairs and saw her sitting on her bed, reading a magazine.

"Alice, do you know where Bella is? I have called her and texted her but she isn't answering."

Alice closed her eyes for a moment and her face went blank. I saw vision in her mind, Bella in an old flannel shirt and cutoff shorts, holding a fishing pole. She was sitting next to a lake with Charlie. Alice opened her eyes and looked at me.

"She went fishing with Charlie. I don't recognize the area. They are having a good time. You should let them be."

"Thanks Alice. I was just worried because she hasn't gotten back to me and that is not like her." I knew that she was safe with Charlie but it was still hard to have to share her.

I walked out of the room and headed to my bedroom. I sent Bella another text telling her I missed her voice. I knew I was overreacting, texting so much but I missed her.

I sat in my room and listened to music for a while. It did not calm me the way I wanted so I went downstairs and sat at my piano. I tried to play but the notes were not coming out right. Everything sounded so harsh and impatient, not the soothing notes I needed. I called Bella's phone again. It went to voicemail again and I left another message.

"Bella please call me. I haven't talked to you all day and I miss you terribly. I am going crazy here. Call me. I love you. Bye."

I was restless, wandering around the house aimlessly. I could see that it was getting later in the afternoon and Bella had not called. Alice reassured me that she still saw them fishing and that they would head home soon. I was anxious to see her again. I could feel the same impatience welling in me that I'd had when Alice had taken Bella shopping. That same almost out of control feeling I'd had because she was not near me, because I did not know where she was or how she was doing.

I was sitting in the living room with Alice, Jasper and Emmett when I heard Alice gasp. We all looked at her and she had a horrified expression on her face.

"What is it baby?" Jasper asked. He took her hands in his. "What do you see?"

"Nothing." Was Alice's whispered reply.

_That's not true_, Jasper thought. "I know you saw something; I can feel your anxiety. What was it?" he said.

I looked into Alice's head but all I saw was black. She was concentrating on that blackness but could not see past it.

"No, I mean it went blank. I can't see her future. It's gone." She whispered.

Her future? Bella? Blank? What did that mean? What was happening to Bella?

I jumped up. "Did you see something about Bella, Alice? What happened? Why can't you see?" I was standing in front of her, my hands fisted at my sides. I could feel the panic welling in me.

_Let her figure it out!_ Jasper thought angrily. I nodded to him and unclenched my fists. I stepped away from Alice and Jasper took her in his arms, trying to comfort her as best as possible.

"I don't know Edward. I saw them driving home then it went blank. I would have seen if they were in an accident or something. This was different. It was like someone turned the light out. It was just black." He voice wavered in distress.

_What is wrong? Why can't I see her? Is there something wrong with me? _Alice thought.

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number.

"Bella call me! Your future went blank. I can't see you. Call me when you get this."

She hung up and was furiously texting as well.

I called Bella's cell and got her voicemail.

"Bella please, please call me. Alice can't see your future anymore. I need to know that you are okay. I love you. Please call. I love you.

I sent her a text as well. Why didn't she answer? It was beyond maddening!

Alice was scrolling through her visions, trying to see Bella but there was nothing. I called her one more time, frantic, but could only leave her a message telling her how much I loved her. Jasper held Alice, trying to calm her disquiet. I could see the strain of our anxiety etched on his face. Emmett sat quietly explaining to Rose, who had just come in from the garage, what was going on. I was torn. I wanted to leave immediately, drive or run until I had covered every square mile until I found her. But I had to stay here; I needed to know if Alice's visions returned. I could not risk being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I needed answers.

I was pacing back and forth at vampire speed. I heard Alice speak to Emmett quietly but was too agitated to listen properly. I wanted to go search for her but I had no idea where to look. Alice's vision of them in the truck was too generic for me to be able to determine where they were. Nothing but trees and roadway. That could be anywhere in Forks or the surrounding area.

I heard Alice pull out her phone again and she dialed a number at vampire speed. When she heard it ring she turned to Emmett. "Now." She said.

Before I could decipher what she meant I felt a pair of very strong arms come around me. Emmett had grabbed me from behind.

"What the hell are you doing Emmett? Let me go." I was infuriated. What was he thinking?

"Sorry, bro. Alice said that you might try something stupid and that I needed to grab onto you." He sounded apologetic. _We know how much you tend to overreact, bro._

I tried to break free, managing only to break the coffee table. Emmett was using his full strength and all I could do was curse at him to let me go. Esme came downstairs to see what all the racket was but before I could say anything I heard Alice on the phone.

"Bella! Oh Bella, are you okay? Where are you? What are you doing?"

I instantly stilled. Bella had answered the phone finally. I could hear her on the other end. Where was she? I needed to talk to her, make sure she was safe. I struggled harder against Emmett's hold, to no avail. Bella was answering Alice's questions.

"_My Dad and I went fishing today and we are on our way to a friend's house to share our catch with them. What's wrong?"_

"Bella, I was so worried. You know I wasn't _trying_ to watch you but I am in tune with you so much and a few minutes ago your whole future disappeared. Completely. It just went black. Edward is frantic. Emmett is holding him down to keep him from doing something foolish while I am talking to you. We needed to make sure you were okay before he took off after you. Where are you going, specifically?"

"_La Push." _I could not follow her there. The treaty prohibited it. Damn it! I growled in frustration. I struggled in Emmett's arms. My only thought was to go down there and get her, treaty be damned but Emmett's hold was too strong. That must be what he meant about doing something stupid. I was ready to do anything to have her back beside me now, safe and sound.

"Hmmm." Alice said. "Well that complicates things. We are not allowed down there."

_Why can't I see her? _Alice thought in frustration.

"_Let me talk to him please, Alice." _Bella wanted to speak to me but Emmett would not let me go. I fought against his hold but he would not budge. I needed to hear her voice in my ear.

"Alright, here he is." Alice said. She turned towards Emmett, eyeing me carefully before nodding. "You can let him go. It's okay."

Alice walked over to where Emmett was holding me and held out the phone. He released me and I reached for the phone quickly. Emmett put his hand on my shoulder to restrain me a little but I shrugged it off as I put the phone to my ear.

"Dammit Emmett! Let me go! Bella? Bella are you okay? I have been calling you and texting you all day! Why didn't you answer? Where are you? Are you alright?" I could hear the desperation in my voice and tried to calm my breathing.

"_I'm fine, calm down Edward. Charlie and I were fishing and I left my phone in the truck. We are heading over to La Push to have dinner with Billy and Jacob. Everything_ _is okay." _She was trying to calm me down with her voice but it did nothing to assuage my fears for her safety. I could not protect her when she was on the reservation and apparently Alice's visions were blocked in some way while she was there.

"Alice can't see your future and I can't come down there to make sure your safe. Please, don't go. Come over to my house instead. I need to know that you are safe." I could hear the pleading in my voice but could do nothing to stop it.

"Dude, you have to calm down. She is with Charlie. He would give his right arm if it meant she was safe. You know that. So calm down. You are going to make her worried for nothing." Emmett said. He was right. Charlie could protect her but it wasn't the same as having her safe in my arms.

"_I can't do that. We are already here. I am with my Dad. I will be perfectly fine. I have my phone with me now. You can text me every half hour if you need to. We should only be here for a few hours. Then I will come see you, okay?" _Her voice was so calm and soothing. I knew there was nothing to do but wait for her to come home. But I felt like I was dying inside, aching with worry. I needed her to be safe. If anything happened to her…

"Please, Bella. Please, please, please be careful. I can't live without you, not again. Please just take care of yourself and stay close to Charlie. I know he can protect you. I will be texting you every half hour. And call me the minute you leave. Please. I love you. Please just be safe." I knew I was begging but I didn't care.

"_I will, I promise. I love you too. Try not to worry. We are here. I have to go." _

"I love you Bella. Please just be safe and come back to me." Please be safe, I repeated over and over in my head. I didn't know what I would do if something happened to her, if she had an accident or got hurt and I was not there to protect her.

"_I will. I love you. Bye." _She said.

"Bye my love." I hung up the phone and stood there staring at it for a long moment until Alice came up and took it from my hand. She led me over to the couch and forced me to sit down. I could only stare without seeing. I felt empty and worried and aching all at the same time.

"Edward. _Edward! _Look at me!" Alice's voice seemed far away.

"I know this is hard but you have to trust that Charlie would never let anything happen to Bella. All they are doing is eating dinner. And even though her future went blank obviously nothing happened to her. It has to be something to do with the reservation. Somehow it is blocking my visions. We need to see if we can figure out why instead of sitting here freaking out." Her voice was firm and authoritative.

I slowly turned my head to look at her. She was right. We needed to figure out why she could not see the future. And after tonight Bella would not be going to La Push until we knew what was happening with Alice's visions. We needed to talk to someone to see if we could figure this out.

"Carlisle." Was all I said.

Esme called the hospital to speak to Carlisle but he was with a patient. She left a message with the nurse telling him that there was a situation that needed his attention at home. She did not go into detail but I knew that Carlisle could read between the lines.

Thirty minutes later I could hear Carlisle's car coming up the drive. I swiftly sent a message to Bella.

**I'm sorry if I worried you earlier. I panicked when I could not reach you and Alice could not see you. I told you I was overprotective. I just want you to be safe. I love you, Edward.**

Bella replied quickly.

_**I know and I'm sorry I am not there with you in person but I couldn't do that to Charlie. I'm safe, doing nothing more hazardous than cooking dinner. Take the advice you always give me and BREATHE. I love you too. Bella**_

The twist on my own advice had me chuckling irrationally and I could feel the stares of my family. I took a few unnecessary deep breaths and found myself strangely calmed, a little anyway. I knew that spending time with Charlie was important to her and I felt bad for suggesting she leave him to come here, not matter how worried about her I was.

Carlisle came through the door before my siblings could ask me why I was amused.

"What's wrong?" He asked, taking us all in at a glance. Jasper and Alice were on the loveseat, Jasper rubbing Alice's arms looking concerned and Alice frowning in frustration. Emmett and Rose were on the couch. Rose was flipping through a magazine but her nonchalance was forced. In her head she was turning over different possibilities regarding Alice's loss of visions. Emmett thoughts held a level of protectiveness towards Bella that almost matched my own. He was mentally imploring Bella to take care of herself. Esme was fluttering around rearranging flowers or dusting to keep herself physically occupied. Mentally she was agitated and hoped that we could find the reason for the block on Alice's visions of Bella.

I answered Carlisle's question.

"Bella's future went blank." Carlisle's eyebrows shot up. "Alice said that suddenly her future just wasn't there. She and Charlie went down to La Push and it seems like as soon as they made that decision, her future disappeared." I was holding my frustration at this situation in, but only barely.

"Has anyone talked to Bella? Is she alright?" Carlisle's voice was concerned.

"Yes, we spoke to her on the phone. She is fine; they are having dinner with the Blacks." I said.

_Are you okay son? You are surprisingly calm about this. _

I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. "No, I'm not. There is nothing I can do about it right now, Carlisle. I can't go down there because of the damn treaty. She knows how worried I am and has promised to stay by Charlie and to be safe. I have permission to text her every half hour to check on her." Carlisle smiled slightly.

_Try not to be a stalker, Edward. _He was laughing in his thoughts. Then he turned serious.

"So, what now?" He said, almost to himself. "Let's start with what we know and go from there."

"Something about the reservation is blocking Alice's vision. It seems like as soon as Bella decided to go there that her future disappeared. But that doesn't make sense. Bella has been to La Push since we met and her future hasn't disappeared before. So what has changed?" I was grateful to have something to occupy me. Seventeen minutes until I could text Bella again, I thought.

"That is a good question. It may not be the reservation itself but something new on the reservation instead." Carlisle was thoughtful. "Perhaps we should run the border, see if we can pick anything up?"

"Good idea. Let's go." I needed to get out of the house. To be doing something so all my focus was not on Bella. Fifteen minutes until I could text her.

Emmett, Carlisle and I took off towards the Quileute border. We ran through the woods, not saying much. As soon as we reached the treaty line we all stopped in shock, all of our noses wrinkled in repugnance. There was a horrible smell emanating from the Quileute side of the line. It smelled like wet dog wrapped in three year old unwashed gym socks. Disgusting. We all stared at each other in disbelief.

"Dude! Is that what I think it is? I haven't smelled that scent in years. Yeecch! It smells like wet dog had a run in with a skunk." Emmett said. I noticed he wasn't breathing. Carlisle and I weren't either. We quickly turned and headed back home. The scent dissipated behind us and we started breathing again.

I sent Bella another text as we ran.

**Still pining for your return but trying to be patient. How is dinner? Edward**

_**Nothing disastrous has happened. =) We are about to eat now. Thank you for being patient. I miss you too. B**_

We made it to the house and burst inside. Everyone turned to look at us expectantly. Emmett, Carlisle and I all spoke at the same time.

"Werewolves!"

They stared at us in shock.

"Werewolves? How is that possible?" Rosalie asked. "I thought that gene died out since last time we were here."

Esme looked concerned and Alice was frowning, deep in thought. Jasper was trying to control all the varied emotions coming from us all while going over strategy in his head for this new situation.

"Apparently not. And there is no way of knowing how many of them there are or what level of maturity they are. They have to be fairly new since Alice's visions were not affected before now." Carlisle said. I realized what he was saying and terror coursed through me.

"Carlisle! That means Bella is down there surrounded by who knows how many young werewolves and there is nothing we can do about it without breaking the treaty! Oh my God!" I sank down onto the couch and sat forward, my head in my hands, frantically pulling at my hair.

Werewolves were dangerous no matter what but a young werewolf had almost no control. They could snap any minute with almost no provocation. And Bella was sitting there, completely unaware of the danger she was in. Panic flowed through my veins like liquid fire. I had to get her out of there.

"No Edward!" Alice yelled. I jumped, startled. She had been so quiet I had almost forgotten she was there.

"You can't go down there and you know it!" She cried. Everyone turned to look at me, shocked.

"Dammit Alice! You have never seen how volatile a young werewolf is! One wrong word and she could be killed! I have to do something!" I got up and turned toward the door, my only focus was Bella's safety so I didn't hear his thoughts until it was too late.

Emmett grabbed me again, trapping my arms at my sides. I thrashed in his grip, snarling and growling but I could not break free. I felt Jasper throwing wave after wave after wave of calm at me. I felt myself relax against my will and hung limply in Emmett's hold.

"You can't do that Edward!" Emmett growled. "You can't break the treaty. You know that. You have to think. If you go down there it will start a war. One that Bella and Charlie are sitting smack dab in the middle of. Either one of them could be killed. And so could any of us. You know as well as I do that besides another vampire that werewolves are about the only other thing out there that can hurt us. You have to think, dude."

I growled in frustration. He was right. Bella or Charlie or any of my family could be seriously hurt. But Bella could be in danger right now and there was no way we would know about it until it was too late! I began to struggle again.

Jasper picked up on the renewed panic running through me and tossed another wave of calm my way.

"You have got to calm down and be rational, Edward." He said. "I know it is hard to do with the thought of Bella in danger but this threatens all of us too. You can't go running off with no thought to what repercussions your actions will bring."

I sighed, defeated. He was right too. I could not put my family in danger. I could not jeopardize them or Bella.

Emmett felt my surrender and released me, though he stayed close to me just in case.

"So what do we do?" I asked. I heard the weariness in my voice. I sat down heavily on the couch, feeling like my legs would not hold me up another second.

"We will have to be more vigilant about the treaty borders." Carlisle said. "I will do some research to see what I can find out about this particular breed of wolf. I don't believe that they are true werewolves. More like shape shifters. That will make a difference if we ever have to have a confrontation with them."

"Shape shifters?" Esme said.

"Yes," Carlisle replied, "not true werewolves. True werewolves are only able to change during the full moon and they have no control in their animal state. We would have heard if there were true werewolves on the loose. There would be a huge rise in homicides." He grimaced as he finished speaking.

"I believe that these "wolves" are simply shifting back and forth between human and wolf at will. That might explain why Alice cannot see their future. The decision to change is usually made so rapidly, sometimes without their control, and it keeps their futures in a constant state of flux. And when Bella and Charlie chose to combine their future with theirs it put them beyond your sight, Alice."

I realized then that Carlisle had seen and done so much in his long life. So many things that even after all this time I was unaware of it all.

"That makes sense, Carlisle. But what now? We can't let Bella run around with me being unable to see her future. But do we tell her about the wolves?" Alice asked.

"Absolutely not." I said. "There is no reason to worry her with this. Dealing with vampires is bad enough. We don't need to throw more mythical creatures her way."  
"She should be told, Edward." Carlisle said. "How can she protect herself if she doesn't know what to protect herself from?"  
"She can't protect herself at all, Carlisle. We are _not_ going to tell her about this."

"What about if she wants to go back to La Push, Edward?" Esme asked.

"I will do my best to dissuade her then. She is _not_ going back there."

"Edward it will do more harm then good to keep this from her." Esme said.

I shook my head. Bella did not need anymore stress in her life. I would keep her away from La Push and she would never need to know about the existence of werewolves.

My family did not agree with my decision but they saw I would not change my mind and were resigned. I noticed that forty five minutes had gone by and sent Bella a text.

**Are you having fun? I miss you. Remember to call me when you are leaving. Edward**

_**You're late young man! I hope you have an excuse from your mother! =) I am going to be leaving here soon. Charlie said that it was alright to spend the night. See you soon. B**_

I sent a silent thanks to Charlie for letting Bella stay over. I didn't think I could let her out of my sight after the day I'd had.

Twenty minutes later my phone rang. Bella's name appeared on the caller ID and I snatched my phone open.

"Bella?" I said anxiously.

"Hi, Edward. Are you okay?" She asked. I was touched by the note of worry in her voice. She was always more worried about me than she was herself.

"I'm fine Bella. Are you alright?"

"Of course. I took a walk on the beach and we all ate dinner. I managed to get out of there because a game came on and they were all so engrossed." She giggled a little. I could hear her opening and closing her truck door and the roar of the engine as it started.

"Look, I don't want you to drive one handed so I am going to hang up. I will see you in a few minutes." As much as I wanted to talk to her I didn't want to tempt fate when she was on her way to see me. I made a mental note to buy her one of those hands-free cell phone earpieces.

She hesitated. "I should really shower and change before I come over, Edward. I'm a mess." I could almost feel her blush from here.  
"No!" I said, a little too loudly. "I mean, no, you can shower here. Alice still has plenty of clothes for you to wear here." I paused, feeling a little embarrassed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just want to see you as soon as possible." I said sheepishly.

She sighed. "Alright. I'll head that way then. See you soon. I love you."  
"I love you too. See you soon. Be careful." Please drive safely, I thought in my head  
"I will, bye."

"Bye my love."

I hung up. Now all I had to do is wait.

A few minutes later I heard Alice gasp again. All eyes went to her and she was laughing and sighing in relief.

"I can see her again! She has left the reservation and is on her way here. She should be here soon." She was giggly and exited and I could here in her head how happy she was to see Bella's future again.

"Edward, you might want to reconsider telling her about the werewolves. She is not going to take it well if you don't." Alice said.

I shook my head. "I have made up my mind, Alice. I cannot put all that stress on her."

"But Edward-." Alice said. She tried to show me a vision in her head but I blocked her thoughts.

"No Alice." I said firmly. She sighed and shook her head. I heard her mutter "stubborn vampire" under her breath. Stubborn or not, it was my responsibility to protect Bella.

I sat back, waiting for her to arrive.

After fifteen minutes I was vowing to put her in a new car as soon as possible, even if I had to disable her truck to do it. Her truck was so slow it was a wonder that she ever got anywhere on time. The waiting was excruciating. Even knowing she was alright I had to hold her in my arms. I needed it. Like my body needed blood. I had to feel her arms around me to fully believe that she was safe.

About ten minutes later I could hear her truck roaring up the drive. I ran out onto the porch to wait for her. I could feel the rest of my hovering near the doorway. She pulled up in front of the house and I was beside the driver's side door in an instant. I opened the door and took her hand, practically dragging her out of the truck and into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and buried my face in her hair, inhaling deeply. Her scent calmed me, soothed my worries. She encircled my waist and slowly drew her hands up and down my spine. She pressed her cheek into my chest and made soft soothing sounds. I thought she was trembling but was shocked to find that it was me.

"Shh. It's okay baby. I'm here. I'm okay. It's going to be alright." She said whispered.

"I was so scared." I whispered. "I didn't know where you were or of you were alright. I couldn't be there to protect you if something happened. I never want to feel that helpless again. I love you so much." I heard the distraught tone of my voice but could not prevent it.

"I love you too. Let's go inside so I can find out what is going on." She said, slowly pulling her arms from around me.

Unwillingly I released her, but kept my arm around her waist as we walked towards the house. Alice met us at the bottom of the steps and drew Bella into a hug, though I still did not remove my arm from around her.

"Bella I am so glad I can see you again. I was so shocked and worried. That has never happened before. I am so glad you are okay." Alice trilled.

"I'm fine Alice, I promise. But I am curious to hear what has happened. Why couldn't you see me before but now you can?"

Alice looked at me before looking back at Bella.

"Let's talk about it in the house." I said.

_Tell her the truth Edward. I'm telling you she is going to be mad if you don't._

I shook my head slightly. It was better for her not to know right now.

We walked up the steps and into the house.

My family backed away from the door now that they saw that Bella truly was alright. They were all worried about her too. Everyone sat down. Bella sat with me on the loveseat and I put one arm around her shoulders, running my fingers through her hair. I took her hand with my free one and rubbed her knuckles with my thumb. I felt such a strong need for contact.

"So, what happened Alice? You said you couldn't see me anymore. What does that mean?" Bella asked.

"Well, like I said I am really in tune with you and I had been kind of been keeping tabs on you all day for Edward." She shrugged sheepishly. Bella waved her hand in dismissal and Alice smiled.

"Anyway, all of a sudden it was like someone turned out all the lights. One second you were riding in the truck with Charlie and the next you were gone. It was just black. I have never had that happen to me before."

"And you think it has something to do with me being on the reservation?" Bella asked, bemused.

"We are not entirely sure what caused it." I said. "Though it seems that when you merge your future with the Quileute's that your future is lost."

"Oh. But why now? I mean, I've been down to La Push since I've known you all and this has never happened before. That you told me about anyway." Bella looked at Alice when she said the last part and Alice shook her head no in confirmation.

"So what's changed now?" Bella asked.

We all hesitated. Bella looked at everyone then up at me.

"What? What are you not telling me?" She asked suspiciously.

"There is nothing to worry about Bella. We are just not one hundred percent sure of what is going on." I said. This was true, sort of.

"What do you _think_ is going on then?" She asked warily.

I shook my head. "We have to do some research. Until then it is nothing to worry about."  
"Nothing to worry about…" She echoed. "So there is something going on but you are not going to tell me?" Her voice was flat, making it more a statement than a question.

She looked at the faces of my family, eyes narrowed. Everyone was keeping their faces intentionally blank.

_You should tell her Edward_-Alice

_She is suspicious and slightly perturbed Ed_-Jasper

_I think we should tell her. She is stronger than you give her credit for Eddie boy_-Emmett

_I feel so guilty not telling her the truth._-Esme.

I felt Bella draw in a breath.

"So there is nothing to worry about?" She was speaking each word slowly, carefully.

"No," I said, shaking my head.

"And there is nothing you want to tell me? Nothing I should be aware of?" She asked, looking at me for confirmation.

"No, everything is fine." It was. We could handle the werewolves and she would not have to add them to her nightmares.

"Hmmm, well okay then." She said indifferently. She pulled her hand from mine and stood up.

"I will just be going then." She said abruptly and turned towards the door. We were all frozen in shock for a moment then I found my voice.

"Wait-no-I thought you were staying the night?" I asked puzzled. Her sudden departure confused me. I could not be without her now, not after the day I'd had worrying about her.

Bella turned around, eyes flashing. I was taken aback by her sudden anger.

"That is when I thought I was going to be staying with my family. You all obviously do not think of me the same way I think of you so I am leaving."  
There was a moment of shocked silence then everyone was speaking at once.

"Of course you are our family." Esme cried.

"You and I are sisters Bella!" Alice exclaimed

"Don't do something rash." Jasper said.

"Bella we love you." Emmett said, pouting.

Bella held up her hand and everyone stopped talking.

"How can I be real family if you are all lying to me, whether by words or silence? You have no secrets from each other but you are clearly keeping something from me." She said angrily. She stared at each of us in turn and I could see the hurt in her eyes.

"Bella-." I started but she interrupted.

"I know you are not telling me the truth. Maybe all of your lying skills work better on strangers, people who don't know you, but I _do _know all of you and I can tell you are all keeping something from me. So tell me what it is or I am going home." She crossed her arms across her chest and stood, glaring at me.  
"Bella, it is for your own good that you don't know." I said placating.

She gasped and her eyes narrowed. I heard Jasper sigh behind me.

"For my own good?" She practically shrieked. I winced at the sound.

"We talked about this Edward. About making decisions together. Remember? Partners? Equals? How can we be together if you don't trust me?" Her voice was indignant.

"Of course I trust you Bella! I trust you with my life!" There was no one I trusted more than her.

"You don't trust me enough Edward. You don't trust me enough to tell me the truth. You don't think I can deal with it so you just decided not to tell me. You are doing it again! Making decisions about my life without even talking to me about it. I am not sure what it is you are keeping from me this time but I do know you don't think I am strong enough to handle it."

"I am just trying to protect you." I said in appeasement.

"You cannot wrap me up in bubble wrap Edward. Guess what? Life is unpleasant sometimes. There are things out there that might shock me or hurt me or disrupt my life. But it is far better to deal with them head on than to be blindsided by them later. You're not telling me what is going on now to protect me. But what if I am hurt by that very thing because you didn't trust me enough to let me deal with it?"

I was shocked. I saw her point. Our conversation in my bedroom came back to me. I had to let her make her own decisions about her life. By not doing so I was stifling her. I was falling back on my old patterns. I warred with myself about telling her about the Quileutes but I realized that if we were going to be on equal footing in our relationship there could not be secrets between us.

I dropped my head and sighed.

"Your right, of course. I'm sorry. It's just that you mean so much to me and the thought of something distressing you hurts me. I can't bear to see you under any kind of stress."  
"I understand that Edward, but stress is a natural part of life, human or vampire. There is no escaping it. You have to believe in me, believe that I can handle it. If you don't see me as your equal there is no way we can be together. I may not have vampire abilities but I would like to think that by now you realize that I am not some shrinking violet. I can handle whatever it is. You have to trust me enough to believe that. You have to have faith that I can make good decisions. _You have to have faith in me._"

I was staggered. She was right, again, as usual. She _was_ strong. She had proven that to me over and over again in the last month. Everything she had done since making the decision to find me had reinforced how strong she was. And even before that, from the first moment I had met she has shown me what an indomitable person she was. I was only now realizing the depth of her fortitude. She had proven over and over again that she could withstand whatever life threw at her and still come out on the other side. Why had I not seen this before? How could I have underestimated her so much? Because you are an idiot Edward, I thought to myself. Shame and guilt filled me.

_I can feel what you are going through Edward. Now fix it. _Jasper thought.

I looked at Bella, who still stood fuming before me.

"When did you become so much smarter than me?" I asked, with a trace of a smile. I saw the corners of her lips lift slightly before she answered.

"I always have been." She said smugly and smirked at me.

"Yes, I think you have." I conceded with a small smile. "I'm sorry Bella. I think protecting you is so ingrained in me that it is my first instinct, even if that instinct is wrong. I am only just starting to understand how strong a person you are, though I should have realized it long ago. I do have faith in you, I really do. It is just such a struggle; protecting you and letting you go at the same time." I hung my head.

"Edward, look at me." I looked up and saw compassion in her eyes.

"I know that you only want what is best for me. But we _did_ talk about this. You can want what's best for me, but acting on it without talking to me first is wrong. We can handle anything that comes as long as it is together, remember?"

I could not help myself. I pulled her towards me and buried my head in the curve of her neck. She wrapped one arm around my waist and stroked my hair with her free hand.

"Together, always." My mantra.

She pulled away and took my face in her delicate warm hands.

"Now we are going to sit down and you are going to tell me exactly what is going on." Her voice was stern and her eyes blazed with determination. I nodded in her hands. She pulled my head down and kissed me softly before releasing me and grabbing my hand. I turned and realized that my family had witnessed our scene. Bella noticed too and her cheeks flamed, though her steps did not falter as she led me to the couch and we sat down.

_I told you she would be angry._ Alice thought.

When we had settled, Bella turned to me.

"Now, tell me. What is going on?"

I took a deep breath.

"How much do you know about the Quileute legends?" I asked.

She looked baffled.

"Not much really. Jacob Black told me about the legend of the Cold Ones and about all of you. He mentioned something about their descendants but it has been a while and I don't remember what he said."

"Well, according to tribal legend they are descendant from wolves. What most of the tribe doesn't know it that the legends are true." I waited to see her reaction.

Her brow furrowed. "You mean they _are_ descendant from wolves? What does that mean?"

"It means that they _are_ wolves, some of them anyway." I said.

"Wolves? Like, real wolves? So…that means they are what? Werewolves or something?" She sounded skeptical.

"Or something." I said.

Her brows shot up.

"Really? Werewolves? The whole howling at the moon, silver bullet kind of werewolves?" She sounded disbelieving.

I rolled my eyes.

"Those are Hollywood versions of werewolves Bella. And we don't think that they are werewolves in the truest sense of the word. These wolves are what you would call shape shifters. I think the choice of wolves is arbitrary. They could have morphed into kittens or elephants. But somehow they chose wolf form."

She paused and I let her gather her thoughts.

"So members of the Quileutes are werewolves? Why now?" She asked looking at all of us.

"What do you mean dear?" Esme asked.

"Well it seems like this is a new development. So why are they shape shifting now? What is different now? And how do you know about them in the first place if you are not allowed on La Push? Does this have anything to do with the treaty thing you were talking about?" I was mildly surprised at how well she was taking all of this news.

"We don't know what is causing them to shift now. Something recent it seems has caused that dormant gene to kick in." Carlisle said. "The treaty you mentioned was enacted seventy years ago. Edward, Rose, Emmett and I were here and stumbled onto their tribal lands. They had all heard legends of us and so knew instinctively what we were. I was able to convince them that we meant no harm to the humans here and so we made a treaty. As long as we stayed clear of La Push and did not harm any humans they would not reveal us. The leader at that time was a man named Ephraim Black."

"So he was Jacob's great grandfather? That makes sense. Billy knew what you were. I convinced him not to tell Charlie. But I was always surprised that he believed the legends so much but I can see how he would now."

She paused for a moment, a contemplative look on her face. Then suddenly she giggled. Then the giggle turned to full on laughter. She started to laugh uncontrollably. I was worried that I had finally made her snap when she spoke, gasping for breath.

"W-w-werewolves?" She said laughing. "Seriously?" *giggle* You were worried about telling me about werewolves?" She laughed. "Edward," she shook her head, "I spend most of my day hanging around vampires and a good portion of my time kissing one. Do you really think I would not be able to handle hearing about another mythical creature?" She laughed.

I paused before I realized she was right I was absurd. I laughed and everyone else joined with me. "I guess I should have realized that you would not be afraid like a _normal_ human." Then I sobered up. "But Bella, these werewolves are dangerous. This is not like a movie. These wolves can change instantly, at will and are ruled by their emotions. If you are too close to them when they morph it can be dangerous or deadly. Please understand that."

She nodded solemnly. "I understand. And it _is_ better that you told me now. Jacob invited me to a bonfire next week and-." I started to speak but she held up her hand. "And now that I know about the wolves I am going to tell him I can't come." I closed my mouth and nodded. I was glad that she was going to see reason. She must have read my expression.

"I do have _some _sense of self-preservation you know. And besides that it worries the hell out of you. That is not something I want to do to you. I have no real reason to go down there anyway unless it is with Charlie so it is not a hardship not to."

I hugged her to my chest. "Thank you." I whispered.

She giggled and I pulled back to look at her face.

"See how much better it is to tell me the truth to begin with?" She laughed and my family joined her.

Much better indeed, I thought._  
_


	8. Chapter 8

Edward

As we sat together on the couch I could not seem to keep my hands to myself. I had to touch her skin, her hair. I needed the reassurance that she was here with me, that she was safe. I ran my fingers through the silk of her hair, brushed my fingers across the satin of her skin. I laid my hand on her leg and felt her startle. When I looked into her face I noticed a slight frown marring her lovely features and wished again that I could hear her thoughts.

"What's wrong?" I said in a whisper.

"Nothing really. I just remembered that I really need to take a shower and change my clothes." Her cheeks turned the delightful shade of pink that I loved so much and I could not help but grin at her.

"You are beautiful no matter what you wear, silly girl. But if you want a shower go ahead. I am sure Alice can find you something to wear." I looked over to Alice for confirmation and she smiled.

_I have just the thing Edward._

"Oh yes Bella, I have plenty of things for you to wear. Come on. Let's go upstairs and I will get something for you while you shower."

Alice moved to stand in front of Bella and taking her by the hand pulled her into a standing position. They moved to the stairs and Bella followed Alice's sprightly step with a more sedate one.

I watched her go and instantly felt her loss. I looked over at Jasper and he was smirking at me.

_It doesn't really get any easier to watch them walk away, man. But it makes it that much sweeter when they come back. _He gave me a sly grin and I smiled back.

I could only handle sitting downstairs for another fifteen minutes before the need to see her again overwhelmed me. Jasper just shook his head at me as I got up and went towards the stairs. Tomorrow I would give her more space. Tonight I needed her presence. It had been a long day and I felt calmer when she was around me.

When I reached my room I did not hear the shower running and assumed that she was dressing. I was standing in the middle of the room when I heard the knob turn and the door open. I looked up and time stopped.

Bella walked out of the bathroom, a cloud of fragrant steam rolling out in front of her. Her sweet scent mixed with her shampoo permeated the air and sent my senses reeling. She was clad only in a white towel that stopped mid-thigh. Her skin was flushed pink from the hot water and looked so soft and warm I felt my body respond instantly. I wanted her. I needed her. Lust filled my mind and overrode my logic. I had to have her. I stared at her, our eyes locked together, and saw the same yearning in her eyes. I could smell the sudden bloom of her arousal and I drew the sweet smell deep into my lungs. It pushed every thought from my head. Every thought except her. I moved towards her, ready to claim her as my own and she step towards me, her eyes echoing the longing in mine.

"Bella!" Alice's voice pierced the edge of my consciousness. I froze where I was. I could hear Alice's thoughts as they pushed the haze of desire from my brain.

_Edward! You have to stop! There is no way either of you are ready for what I just saw in your future. Go downstairs and let Jasper calm you down._

I didn't move. I was still wrapped in my haze but I could feel rational control slowly coming back to me. I had never felt such an overpowering desire before.

_EDWARD! You need to go downstairs! NOW!_ Alice's thoughts broke me out of my trance and I turned and left the room before my desires could take a hold of me again.

I quickly made my way downstairs and walked out onto the porch. I sat down on the top step and dropped my head, my hands running through my hair. I had to get myself under control. I could feel my body shaking as I tried to bring myself back to normal. I could not believe how quickly the rational part of my brain had been overcome by desire. I'd never felt such a primal force before.

I felt a wave of calm pour over me and looked up to see Jasper standing next to me. He dropped down to sit next to me on the step and put his hand on my shoulder. I instantly felt more composed.

_I know you are probably kicking your own ass right now but everything you are feeling is perfectly normal, Edward._

I gaped at him. "Jasper, I could have seriously hurt her. I have never been so completely consumed by lust like that. It shut down the rational side of my brain totally. I can never lose control with her like that. You _know_ that." I was disgusted with myself.

Jasper felt my disgust and pushed another wave of tranquility on me.

_It is natural Edward. She is beautiful and you love her. Wanting her physically is just another aspect of that love. You have been repressing the physical side of your nature for so long that you are bound to slip up. The problem is that you have _too much_ control._

"Too much control? What are you talking about? If I don't control myself she dies. I don't think there is such a thing as _too_ much control."

_Which is exactly why you were overcome before. You can't suppress everything forever without exploding at some point. You need to let some of your control go in order to become stronger._

I stared at him in bemusement. "I don't understand. How can losing control make me stronger?" It made no sense to me.

_I didn't say _lose_ control, Edward. I said let some of it go. You have set up so many boundaries and you need to let some of them drop. I'll bet you have never even gotten to second base have you? _ Jasper was grinning.

"I don't see how that is any of your business, Jasper." I said in indignation.

_That's what I thought. Geez Edward you have _got_ to loosen up. Touching her is not going to kill her, you have proven that._ I rolled my eyes.

_Besides, she wants you to touch her as much as you want to touch her. Trust me, I know. I can feel it rolling off of her every time you two are together._

"Really?" I asked. I could not believe that she felt the same overpowering desire that I did.

_Yes, really. Think about that. Now go upstairs. We can talk more about this tomorrow, when Bella is not around to distract you. _He smirked at me.

"Thanks Jazz. I needed that." I clapped him on the shoulder and walked back into the house.

I was more thankful than ever that Jasper was my brother. He loved to tease me but I knew I could always count on his advice. And I needed some. I needed to know how to control myself better. We definitely needed to talk tomorrow.

I went back upstairs and heard Bella moving around in the bathroom. I turned down the covers on her side of the bed and sat down on top. Bella opened the door and I saw a fleeting look of surprise cross her features. She climbed up onto the bed and curled into me. She draped her arm over my waist and pressed her head into my shoulder. The fragrance of her hair and skin flowed over me. I wrapped one arm around her and traced my fingers over her arm with the other. Her skin felt like velvet under my sensitive fingertips. I could still feel the same yearning for her that I had before but I was in control again. Now the strongest feeling I had was the intense love I had for the glorious creature wrapped in my arms. I was basking in her presence when she spoke.

"I'm sorry about before. I didn't know you would be in here and Alice didn't leave my pajamas in the bathroom for me." Her voice was apologetic and I could sense the blood that rushed to her cheeks. Of course _she_ would feel the need to apologize when it was _my_ fault. I stroked her warm cheeks with the back of my fingers.

"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have waited before coming upstairs. I didn't mean to catch you in that state of undress." I pressed my face against her damp hair.

"It's okay. It's not like I was naked." I had to use every ounce of willpower I had to crush the images of Bella naked that burst into my brain. I had never seen her completely unclothed but I had seen enough to know that she would be exquisite. I forced my mind back to present time.

"Besides, some of the things that Alice tries to put me in are more revealing than that towel." She laughed softly and I joined her, glad to lighten the mood.

"Anyways, it doesn't matter. So, what did you do today?" She asked.

"You mean before becoming completely panic-stricken when I could not contact you and then angering you with my lack of faith in you?" I said teasingly. It felt better to laugh about what had happened than to dwell on it.

"Yes, before that." She replied lightly.

"Well, after I left you this morning I went hunting and then went to talk to Carlisle."

"Oh, what did you talk about?"

"I took your advice and decided to forgive myself about what happened between us but I wasn't sure how to go about it. So I talked to Carlisle and he helped me." I said in an offhand way, though I felt so much more at ease since talking to him.

"What did he say?" I could hear the curiosity in her voice.

"Hmm, well he basically told me that if I didn't let this go it would poison our entire relationship. And that I needed to focus on us now-right now-and let everything else go. He pointed out all the ways that we have both grown and changed and that even though it hurt us both so much, our separation has actually strengthened our relationship. That there will always be things that remind us of that time but that we should use those things to remind us how much better we are together than we are apart."

Bella's expression was one of shock. Then a slow smile began to form. She startled me when she raised her voice and spoke.

"Carlisle, you are officially my new favorite person!"

I heard Carlisle and Esme laughing in the study and Emmett's booming laugh echoed through the house. Alice and I had the same thought at the same time and called out in tandem.

"Hey what about me?" We both said in feigned indignation.

Bella shook as laughter overtook her small frame. I loved the sound of her unrestrained laughter. Her joy filled me with joy. Even after all this time and everything we'd had to endure to get to this point I could not believe that this captivating woman had chosen me. And continued to choose me. I had never felt such happiness, even from what I could remember of my human life.

I had distanced myself from my vampire family over the last decades. It was not a completely conscious decision; everyone had always been so wrapped up in their significant others that I had kept away to allow them time to be together. I could see now that I had been losing some of the humanity that I had clung so desperately to all those years. Being with Bella had opened me up, had unleashed all those pent up emotions and they had completely overtaken me. I was filled with so much love and contentment. I could understand now why my family said I had changed so much. Never before had I been so unrestrained with my love and affection. And I had Bella to thank for that.

I stared down into her eyes as her laughter died down. I could not help the tender smile that formed across my face. Bella read my expression and looked up at me with such love and adoration that I was swept up in a wave of joyfulness. I bent and kissed her soft lips, hoping to convey all the devotion I felt to this amazing woman.

I lifted my head and she nestled closer into my embrace. I began to hum to her and she quickly fell asleep.

I stared down at her as she slept, her features peaceful. Much as I did every night while she lay sleeping in my arms I whispered my love to her. I told her how empty my life had been before I had met her and how I had never even realized it. How my heart had been searching for her all these years and how she filled every empty space within me that I never even knew existed. I told her of the crushing despair I had felt when I left her and the overwhelming joy I had felt when I saw her in Rio and realized that she still wanted to be with me. I apologized over and over again for all the pain I had caused her. How I was working to forgive myself like she asked but how I would never forget how much I had hurt her and how I would never stop trying to make it up to her. In the dark I recounted to her how I felt when I realized I loved her and how I would love her for the rest of my existence.

She only spoke in her sleep only once, to murmur my name.

"Edward…" My ears tuned into her sleepy voice. I loved it when she said my name in her sleep, wishing as I always did that I could join her in her dreams.

"Yours…forever…" she sighed.

My chest clenched. Forever. It had such a different meaning to me than it did her. And it had a different meaning to me now than it ever had before. Before forever had meant a never ending string of days and nights, repeating the same cycle I'd been repeating for decades. Now my life was tied to the heartbeat of the woman in my arms. The same crushing pain I had felt when I spoke to Carlisle in Denali hit me. I of course knew rationally that she would die one day. She was human and death was a fact of her existence. But emotionally I knew that I would never ever be able to prepare myself for the day that happened. I knew I would never be able to exist without her.

_You could change her._ The voice in my head said. _Then she would be with you forever. _

'No!' I answered the voice back. 'I can't steal her soul from her. No matter how much I want her with me forever."

_It's what she wants. She has told you that already._

'Because she doesn't understand what this life is like. She doesn't know the horror of what being a vampire is truly like.'

_It's not as though you have ever tried to explain it to her either. You know she is a lot stronger than you have ever given her credit for._

'How can she want this? With all the suffering that comes with this life, how can she want to become what I am?'

_Because she loves you and wants to be with you forever. And you are focusing on the bad parts of your existence. What about the benefits?_

'Benefits?' I scoffed to the voice. 'What benefits?'

_Hmm, how about having the woman you love beside you for all eternity? Knowing that the love she feels for you will last forever. Knowing that you have an unending amount of time to show her how much you love her. Those sound like benefits to me._

I was stunned. I had never looked at it that way before. I had always been focused on how much I would be taking from her. Of how much she stood to lose by choosing to be with me as a vampire. And I would be taking so much from her. Her family, her friends, the ability to have children.

_But you would be giving her what she wants…you._ The voice replied to my inner musings.

'How can that be enough? How can I ever be enough to take the place of everything she has ever known?'

_If your positions were reversed would she be enough for you, enough for forever?_

'Of course she would be.' My reply was immediate and automatic.

_Then there is your answer, isn't it?_

I was staggered. The answer was so simple and so complicated at the same time. I wanted her forever but taking her life was such a selfish act. How could I do that to her? Just for my own selfishness?

I was drawn from my musings by the sun slowly rising, lightening the sky. Another morning was upon us. I could hear the changes in Bella's heartbeat that told me she would be waking soon.

I looked down into her beautiful face as her eyelids fluttered open. She was so endearing, her eyes soft with sleep. She smiled at me and tightened her arms around me. Suddenly her eyes widened and she gasped. I could hear her heartbeat speeding up. I looked down at her in concern.

"Something wrong my love?" I asked.

"Uh, no. I just, uh, need a human moment." Her voice was unsteady and I wondered if she was ill.

I let her get up and she moved quickly into the bathroom. Was she alright? I heard the water from the sink turn on and a soft splashing sound. I listened to her heartbeat gradually slow down and her respiration went back to normal. I decided to give her some privacy and got dressed to go downstairs. I heard Alice outside the room.

"Yes Alice?"

_I have some clothes for Bella when she gets out of the bathroom._

I opened the door and she walked in and placed a sweater and pair of pants on the bed.

"Thanks Alice."

She just shrugged and walked out of the room and down the stairs into the kitchen. I heard her greet Jasper and then rummage around in the cabinets.

I walked over to the bathroom door and knocked softly.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine thanks." Her voice sounded normal.

"I'm going to go downstairs. I'll see you when you come down." I said.

"Ok, I'll be down in a minute." She said softly.

"Alice left you something to wear on the bed."

"Tell her thanks for me." She said gratefully.

"Alright, see you in a few." I said, turning and walking out of the bedroom.

I moved downstairs and into the kitchen. Jasper was leaning against the counter while Alice turned towards the coffeemaker that Esme had purchased to complete the look of the kitchen.

I could smell the foul scent of burnt coffee beans and water. It assaulted my senses. How could humans drink that stuff?

"Why are you making coffee Alice?"

"Bella will want it when she comes downstairs." Alice replied.

"You know Bella has a low tolerance for caffeine. Why would she want that?"

"I don't know. I just had a vision of her drinking it here in the kitchen." Alice was singing The Battle Hymn of the Republic in French in her head so I knew there was something she was not telling me.

I heard the bedroom door close and soft footsteps make their way downstairs and into the kitchen. Her warm sweet scent hit me before she walked into the room and I looked over to see her smile at me. I took the coffee cup from Alice and walked over to her, kissing her on the cheek before handing it to her.

"Alice said you would want that." I still could not believe that she would want to drink this revolting drink.

She sipped it, looking over at Alice and smiling.

"What would you like to do today, love?" I asked as I leaned back against the counter and crossed my arms across my chest. Bella looked me up and down and I heard Jasper clear his throat behind me. Bella sent him an apologetic look but he was singing Dixie in his head so I could not hear his thoughts as he grinned and winked at her.

I was about to ask what was going on when Alice interrupted.

"Actually Bella and I have an appointment in Port Angeles. We are going to have to leave soon if we want to make it there on time." Alice was still humming in her head and I was instantly suspicious.

"An appointment for what?" I asked.

"An appointment at a salon. Bella needs a haircut before we start school and I want us to get a manicure and a pedicure too. We are having a girl's day!" Alice's voice reflected her delight.

_This is the last time we get to have a day together before school starts Edward. Don't ruin it!_

I looked at Bella and she was nodding in agreement with Alice.

"Oh, I thought we might spend a little time together before you have to go home." I had been hoping to go to the meadow today to spend some time with her.

"I want to have a little one on one time with Alice. She is my best friend after all." Bella said. I had to remind myself that I had promised I would give her space today. But I was still disappointed.

"Why don't you and I do something tonight, just the two of us?" Bella said, shocking me.

What did she mean? A date? I was filled with excitement at the thought. Bella and I had never had a real date.

"Like a date?" I asked in confirmation.

"Yes, like a date." She answered and I could not help the joyful smile that crossed my face. She grinned back at me in return.

"We have never really been out on a real date before. It might be fun." She said.

I knew instantly where I wanted to take her and Alice gasped behind me as a vision formed in her head.

"Well if guys are going out on a date tonight we really have to get to the salon. Come on, Bella. Go get your shoes on so we can go." She dragged Bella from the room and pushed her upstairs.

_You guys are going to have so much fun tonight!_ Alice thought. _And us being out today will give you time to talk to Jasper. Rose and Emmett are going to be gone until eleven. I suggest that you be finished with your "talk" by then or Emmett will torment you for the next fifty six years about it._

"Thanks Alice." I replied. I waited for Bella to come downstairs with Alice.

She had barely made to the bottom step before I swept her into my arms and kissed her. Her fingers moved into my hair and gripped it in her tiny fingers.

Alice cleared her throat behind us and Bella slowly pulled away from me. I could not help the thrill that sparked through me when I saw her slightly dazed expression. I was delighted that I could cause that reaction in her. She saw the look in my eye and her expression turned mischievous. Suddenly she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed me, taking my bottom lip in her mouth and grazing it with her teeth. I was filled instantly with the same desire I'd felt last night. Before I could gather my thoughts she quickly turned towards the door.

"See you later!" She sang out sweetly.

I was still in a daze when I heard the sounds of Alice's and Bella's giggles in the garage.

_Come on Edward, let's go hunt._ I had forgotten that Jasper was in the room.

_You need to burn off all that energy before you kill me with it. _He thought lightheartedly.

"Alright, let's go." We made our way out of the house and easily leapt over the river. We ran through the woods exuberantly, rough housing with each other, dodging around trees and leaping over rocks. Jasper ran ahead of me. I caught up with him easily, pushing him to the side. He crashed into a tree, knocking it to the ground with a loud crash before leaping up and chasing after me. He caught up with me and leapt onto my back, dragging me down to the ground. We wrestled, pinning each other several times before calling it a draw. We sat on the forest floor laughing at each other before catching the scent of elk in the air. By unspoken agreement we got up and ghosted toward the herd. The warm smell of their blood and the beat of their hearts _thrump thrump_'ed through the woods. I closed my eyes and let my other senses expand, allowing my instincts to take over. With out conscious thought my body moved towards the intoxicating aroma of their blood. Jasper moved with me, our footsteps silent through the undergrowth. We found the herd in a small clearing, some drinking from a small creek that trickled through the woods. Jasper moved stealthily to the other side of the clearing. I chose my target and leapt, my body uncoiling like a spring as I took my quarry to the ground. My teeth bit cleanly into the hot flesh of the elk's neck and I drained it, feeling the warm blood gush down my throat, soothing the burn as it went. I drained another before disposing of the carcasses. I left the clearing and sat down on a large boulder. Jasper joined me after a few moments and I could feel the contentment radiating off of him.

"So are you ready to talk about you and Bella yet?" He asked, breaking the silence.

I sighed. I was not comfortable with these types of discussions but I had to admit that Jasper had a lot more experience than I did and I needed to listen to him.

"I know that I need to so I don't hurt her accidentally. What happened to me last night was an eye opener. I cannot believe how strong that feeling was. It completely overtook me. How do I control that?" I asked. I felt helpless against the feelings that had inundated me.

"First of all, like I said you have _too_ much control Edward. You have such a ruthless grip on your control that anything that challenges it strains it to the breaking point. You have got to let some of that go. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that you have inside. Relinquish some of the discipline that you have acquired over the decades. You have to test your boundaries."

"How? I have no idea how to do that." I said in frustration. I had been suppressing so much of myself over the years that the thought of letting any of it go terrified me.

"What if I can't stop myself?" I said helplessly.

"You have to go slow Edward. I'm not talking about going all the way all at once. I know that you cannot handle that. You have to think in baby steps." Jasper said.

"Baby steps?" I asked. "What do you mean?"

"Look I know this is embarrassing but how far have you gotten with Bella?" He asked.

I looked away. "Not far." I said. I could not meet his eyes. "Just kissing. I haven't trusted myself to go any farther." I knew if I was still human I would be blushing. Jasper picked up on my acute mortification.

"Don't be embarrassed Edward. The human body, and the vampire body for that matter, were made to feel pleasure. Sharing that with the woman you love can bring you closer together. Intimacy is one of the best ways to bond. Think about how devoted you feel to her now and you have only kissed. That feeling will only get stronger the more intimate you become."

I could not believe that there was anything that would make me _more_ devoted to Bella. Jasper felt my doubts and laughed.

"I know it seems impossible but you will see what I mean. To do this you have to cross each hurdle one at a time. To start with you have to push the touch restrictions you have set up. You have already proven that you can touch her and not hurt her. So far you have limited your touching to the neck up. Now is the time to go lower."

I looked at him dubiously. "Lower? How much lower?" I was not sure I was ready for this.

Jasper laughed again. "Not _that_ low yet, Edward. Baby steps remember? I am talking about waist up contact. The important thing is to go slow. Touch her and when you feel like you might be out of control of your lust _or_ your thirst then stop until you regain it. Then you continue. You are going to have to talk to Bella about this too. So she knows not to push you too far too fast."

I scoffed at that. "And just how do I bring that up Jasper? 'By the way do you mind if I feel you up? Oh and stay still so I don't kill you?' I can imagine how that conversation would go." I said sarcastically.

Jasper burst out laughing, the sound echoing around the forest.

"God Edward you are so uptight! Chill out man! This is supposed to be about pleasure. If you let your turn-of-the-century hang-ups get in the way you will never be with Bella. She will appreciate the effort. You know she would never do anything to hurt you deliberately. But if you don't talk to her she might push your control too far without even knowing it."

I knew he was right but the thought of giving in to the desire in me scared me. Jasper felt it.

"Don't be afraid, Edward. You can do this. You have to trust yourself. I have never met anyone with more restraint than you. And Bella needs this as much as you do. Every time you pull away from her it knocks down her self esteem. Did you know that?"

I was shocked into speechlessness.

Jasper clapped his hand on my shoulder. "I can see you didn't. But imagine how she feels for a moment. You are kissing her and she is getting worked up, then you exercise that superhuman control and pull away. She is left feeling like she is not desirable enough for you to go farther. Even if she understands rationally why you won't progress, emotionally she feels inadequate."

"Inadequate? My God Jasper! Are you serious?" It had never occurred to me that Bella felt that way. She was everything to me.

"Yes Edward. She wants to go farther and you push her away, though it is for her own good. You have said yourself that Bella doesn't see herself clearly. She feels like she is not enough for you. That you could never want her as much as she wants you."

"What? How can she not see that she is the most beautiful, most exquisite woman in existence?" I had never met a more beautiful woman than my Bella.

Jasper laughed. "God knows you have told her that often enough but she still doesn't see it. And pulling away from her only reinforces that."

"What do I do? How can I fix this?" I could not have her thinking that I did not desire her. I wanted her with every particle of my being.

"Break down your boundaries." Jasper said. "Touch her the way she wants to be touched; the way you want to touch her. We all need physical reinforcement of our love sometimes. Give in to it. Just go slowly. Only go as far as you can handle. This is going to be a slow process but a gratifying one."

"Thanks Jasper." I was infinitely grateful to have Jasper as my brother.

We got up and started our way back to the house. I had one more favor to ask of him.

"By the way, please don't mention this conversation to Emmett. You know how he is. I don't think that I am ready for the epic amount of teasing that he is sure to subject me to. I will talk to him eventually but right now I can't handle it."

Jasper laughed. "No prob, bro. But you know that you will have to talk to him at some point. Believe it or not I think that there are things that he can help you with. But for now this is between us. Emmett is not known for subtlety and I don't want him to scare you off before you even get started." He sniggered.

We made our way back to see that Rose and Emmett had returned but that Bella and Alice had not.

"Eddie! Just in time to have me kick your ass on the Xbox!" Emmett boomed out.

I rolled my eyes. He knew I hated being called Eddie.

"Not right now _Emmy_, I have some things to do."

Jasper burst out laughing.

"Pansy. Come on Jasper, you and me then."

I left to prepare for mine and Bella's date. I had my suit pressed, washed my car and made restaurant reservations. When I returned home I saw that Alice and Bella had returned. I walked into the house to see everyone engrossed in a movie and Bella curled up on the couch, asleep. Someone had placed an afghan over her, probably Esme. I very carefully picked her up and placed her on my lap. Even the short time I had been away from her today had almost been too much and I needed to touch her. She stirred slightly before settling in against my chest.

I sat holding her in my arms as the rest of the family watched the movie, marveling in the innocent sweetness of her expression. Her dark lashes fanned out across her alabaster cheeks and her lovely full lips were parted softly with sleep.

I heard her breathing change and her eyelids fluttered open. She looked at me with sleep still in her eyes.

"Hi." She said in a soft voice.

"Hi." I replied in the same soft tone.

"Did you get your errands finished?" she asked.

I smiled, thinking about my preparations for our date tonight.

"Yes, thank you. And you? Did you have fun with Alice today?"  
Her cheeks turned pink and I raised my eyebrows. What could have happened with Alice today to cause the blush in her cheeks? I wished again, as always, to be able to hear her thoughts, even if it was only for a moment.

"Yes, we had a good time. Lots of girl talk. And shopping, because I think that is just inevitable when you are with Alice." Girl talk. I could imagine that a conversation with Alice would cause the blush in Bella's cheeks. Alice could tease with the best of them.

"Hey!" Alice cried indignantly. "I do more than shop you know."

Every head in the room turned in her direction, different degrees of disbelief on everyone's faces.

"Well, I do." She groused and we all laughed.

Bella sat up on my lap and ran her fingers through her hair, brushing it off her face. Her sweet scent formed a cloud around me.

"I like your new haircut." She was beautiful as always. Anything she did to herself only enhanced her loveliness. I could not help but run my fingers through the flowing silk of her hair and press my face into the dark mass. I inhaled the unique aroma that was Bella.

"Thanks, I'm glad you like it." She said shyly.

I raised my head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I love everything about you. From the top of your beautiful head to your now-painted toenails."

She smiled and wiggled her adorable toes. "Thanks, Alice picked out the color. It's called 'Vamp'."

I burst out laughing. Of course. Only Alice.

We all sat, talking quietly amongst ourselves for another hour before Alice interrupted me with her thoughts.

_She is all mine now Edward. I have to get her ready for you. _

Alice stood up and came to stand before us.

"All right Bella, time to get started." I stood up with Bella in my arms and lowered her to the floor. I put my hands on her hips to steady her. I could not resist a soft kiss before releasing her into Alice's clutches.

"Have fun, love." I grinned, knowing she hated the hair and makeup part of going out.

Alice dragged her upstairs and I challenged Emmett to a few rounds of Xbox before going upstairs to shower and get ready myself.

As I got dressed I replayed the conversation with Jasper in my head. I knew that he was right, that I had to challenge my control in order to make it stronger. It seemed almost like going backwards. I had worked so hard for so long to perfect it and now I had to let some of it go. But he was right about me exploding if I didn't. I thought back to the feelings that had been coursing through me last night and how close I had been to giving in completely. I _had _given in; only Alice's intervention had stopped me. Baby steps, I thought. Let a little control go at a time. I could do this. I hoped.

I went downstairs to wait for Alice and Bella.

_You look so handsome, Edward._ Esme thought. She grabbed her camera and took a quick snapshot of me.

_Nice bro. _Emmett thought. _You are definitely getting some tonight dressed like that._

I rolled my eyes at him. This was why I did not want Jasper to reveal our conversation to Emmett. If he knew what we had talked about today he would never let me live it down. My virgin status was the source of a lot of hilarity for Emmett.

_Baby steps tonight._ Jasper thought. _You can do it. _

I heard a door open upstairs and then Alice's voice called down to us.

"Ok we are coming down now. Turn around and stay out of my head!" She had been reciting Korean sign language in her head since she took Bella upstairs so there was no way to get into her head if I wanted to but I turned around as ordered anyway. I had a brief flashback to Prom. Alice had made me wait to see Bella then too. I think she enjoyed torturing me with anticipation.

I could hear Bella's heart racing as she took the stairs very slowly. I hoped that it was racing in anticipation for our date. I knew that I was looking forward to it a great deal.

I was looking into Jasper and Emmett's faces when I heard Bella reach the last step. They were blocking their thoughts from me but I saw their eyes widen in appreciation. I was desperate to see my love but was still forbidden to turn around by Alice. Damn teasing pixie.

Jasper grinned at Bella and gave her a thumb's up and Emmett whistled.

"Ok you can look now Edward." Alice said.

I spun around so fast I'm sure my shoe left a gouge in the carpet. Then I could not move a muscle.

She was perfection. I had no words. There were no words. There was no phrase in any of the languages I knew to describe how exquisite she looked.

Her rich dark hair was piled up in a mass of curls on the top of her head with a few tendrils curling around her delicate ears. She had a soft sweep of bangs across her forehead. Her makeup was subtle and emphasized the decadent chocolate of her eyes. Her skin was radiant, glowing in the navy blue dress she wore. The dress was simple but fit her to perfection. The cut of the neckline accentuated the graceful curve of her neck and shoulders and I wanted to bury my face in the crook of her neck. The soft material clung to her shape beautifully and she was the picture of feminine beauty.

I looked up into her eyes and saw everything I would ever want reflected in her eyes.

"I have never seen a more beautiful woman in my entire life." I said softly. The words seemed inadequate to describe the vision in front of me.

She blushed, the soft color enhancing her loveliness even more. "Thank you. You always make me feel that way. You look amazing too." I grinned at her, thankful that for once she did not turn my compliment aside and pleased that I made her feel beautiful. I offered my arm to her and she took it, smiling.

She looked up at me then, so much love and adoration in her eyes I felt my chest clench with the intensity. There was a sharp flash as Esme took our picture and Bella looked over at her.

"You both look so wonderful. I hope you have so much fun tonight." Esme said. _I am going to make sure that everyone is out of the house tonight when you both get home. Privacy is our gift to the both of you._

I smiled slightly, grateful for Esme's thoughtfulness. The last thing that I wanted after a date with my love was to come home to a bunch of over-curious vampires.

"Speaking of, where are we going tonight?" Bella asked. I knew she hated surprises but I was hoping that this would be something she would enjoy.

"Ah ah ah, that is a secret, my love." I smirked at her as I led her out of the house and down the stairs. She stopped short when she saw my Vanquish parked in front of the house. She raised her eyebrows at me and I could not help but smile at the expression on her face.

"A special occasion calls for a special car. It would be an insult to how beautiful you look tonight for you to be seen in anything other than a car like this."

It was. I loved my Volvo but she was much too precious to me to be seen in anything less than the best. I saw her lips twitch but she did not say anything. I helped her into the car and was sitting in the driver's seat before she could buckle the seatbelt. I loved not having to hold back all of my vampire abilities when I was around her.

I started the car, reveling in the warm purr of the engine before backing out and driving down the drive to the main road.

"Where are we going?" She asked again, curiosity evident in her tone.

I hesitated. I hoped that she would like my idea as much as I had. I looked over to gauge her reaction.

"Port Angeles. I wanted to try to recreate the best part of our first "not-quite-a-date" date if that is agreeable to you?" I did not want to remind her of the terrible incident that she had endured but this was something that I wanted to do very much.

"Oh! I'd like that very much. It would be almost like starting over again, only better." I felt the anxiety slide from my body. She understood. Of course she did, this was Bella. I wanted to start over too. Begin our relationship anew.

"That is what I thought too. Go back to where it started and do everything right this time." I smiled at her and felt myself drowning in the depths of her eyes. Her eyes glazed over and her breath stopped for a moment before she shook her self and inhaled deeply.

"Dazzler." She grumbled.

I could only laugh. She had captivated me just as much.

"The feeling is mutual I assure you, my love." 


	9. Chapter 9

Edward

We drove to Port Angeles mostly in silence, just enjoying each other's company. I reached over and took her soft warm hand in mine and kept it there for the duration of the trip. She smiled over at me and I felt a wonderful sense of anticipation. I hoped that she would enjoy what I had planned for our date.

We reached Port Angeles in record time and I was thankful that Bella had not taken me to task about my driving. She still hated it when I drove fast and there was no way I could make her understand the exhilaration of speed. It was one of the reasons I enjoyed running so much. And having to drive at normal human speeds felt like swimming through molasses.

I drove straight through downtown and to the east side of Port Angeles. Bella noticed that we were nowhere near the restaurant and looked over at me with a quizzical expression. I smiled at her reassuringly.

"There is something I wanted to do before we ate if that's alright." I said.

"Oh. Okay then. That's fine. I'm all yours." She said, smiling.

I parked the car and could not resist leaning over the console to kiss her softly.

"And don't you forget it." I teased, grinning at her.

"Never." She said, smiling and breathless.

I got out of the car and moved quickly around to Bella's side of the car to help her out. She stood up and took in her surroundings for the first time.

"The waterfront? What are we doing here?" She asked, bemused.

"You'll see." I took her hand in mine and we walked along the waterfront and down the pier. There were Chinese lanterns and white twinkling Christmas lights draped along the sides of the pier and a good number of people wandering around. As we reached the end of the wide dock you could see several musical instruments and their players on a raised dais. Some where tuning their instruments and others flipping through sheet music or simply waiting patiently.

"A concert? Wow, I didn't know they did concerts on the pier here." Bella said in wonder.

"It's something they do for a few weeks every summer. Usually the music is nothing I would want to listen to but I thought that you might enjoy this." I lead her to one of the long wooden benches that had been set up for people to sit on during the concert. We sat on the right hand side, a little ways back so that we could enjoy the music without interruption.

"What kind of music are they playing tonight?" Bella asked as we sat down. I wrapped one arm around her waist and she leaned into my shoulder.

"You'll see. They're about to start." I said, smiling down at her.

At that moment the musician, having received their cue from their director, took up their instruments and began playing a lively tune. I heard Bella gasp next to me and when I looked down at her she was smiling in pleasure.

"Swing music? My mom loves this. She would play it all the time around the house when she was doing housework. I think she had a thing for Count Basie or something." Bella said, laughing. Her eyes were sparkling in pleasure.

"I'm glad you enjoy it. I had hoped that you would. And Basie was something to see when he performed. He didn't play the music, he became it. It was pretty awe inspiring actually."

Bella looked at me in wonder. "You saw him play?"

"Yes, Carlisle and I went to a concert of his. I think Carlisle had a thing for him too." I said smirking.

Bella laughed. "I'm going to tell him you said that." She said before turning to watch the musicians play. She tapped her foot to the music and occasionally bobbed her head, just slightly out of time but it was adorable nonetheless.

This music reminded me of my younger days, while I was still adjusting to my vampire life and learning to live among humans. The times then had been a lot simpler, though the war was still raging. The music then helped people forget about their troubles for a while and just live in the moment. I found the sentiment fitting for Bella and me. Tonight we could forget about everything else in our lives and put all our focus on each other.

We sat there for over an hour as the band played through their repertoire and I leaned over to speak in Bella's ear.

"Are you ready to eat now? It might be best to leave before everyone else gets the same idea. I don't want you to get caught up in the crush."

Bella looked up at me and gave me a soft smile.

"Of course, let's go."

I took her hand and pulled her up. We made our way down the pier and back to my Vanquish. When we pulled away from the pier Bella turned to me.

"Thank you for taking me to the concert. Somehow you always seem to know what I will like. I wonder sometimes if you really can't read my mind." She laughed.

"Believe me, I wish I could. A hundred times a day I wish I could hear all the thoughts you have rolling around in that beautiful head of yours."

"Trust me, it is not that interesting in there." She smiled.

"I know better than that. Just the words you speak are fascinating enough. I'm sure your thoughts would be more so."

She just shook her head, smiling.

A few minutes later we were pulling up in front of La Bella Italia. I opened her door for her and took her hand as we walked to the entrance. I could not help but compare this date to the last time that we were here together. At least this time I was able to open her car door for her, I thought wryly.

This time felt so much different than the first time we were here. I did not have to hide what I was with her now. I was free to be myself and show her all the love that I felt inside. The same love that I had felt the first time we were here but now it was stronger, deeper. I would not have thought that was possible until this very moment. We were starting over, beginning our relationship anew, but on a much more solid foundation that we could build our lives on.

I held the door open for her and we walked inside and I was immediately inundated with the thoughts of the person standing at the podium.

_Would you take a look at _that? _Damn! I need to get me one of those. _

I looked up and growled low in my throat, too low for anyone to hear. The man waiting to seat us was looking Bella up and down unabashedly.

_Man, if I had a woman that beautiful I would never leave the house. Forget that I would never even bother getting dressed again. _His mind dipped then into a rather explicit fantasy with Bella playing the starring role. I blocked out his repulsive thoughts and stepped up to the podium.

"Two for Cullen." I said, menace dripping from my tone.

He immediately snapped his attention to me, flushing slightly. He registered my presence for the first time.

_Whoa that guy is kind of creepy. Better get him seated. He looks like he wants to rip my head off. _He was not far from the truth.

"R-right this way please." He stuttered, motioning for us to follow him.

_Damn, looks and probably money too. No wonder she is with him. Us regular guys can't ever catch a break. I bet I could show her a better time than this guy. Hey babe, ditch the iceman and hook up with me. _He thought.

The thoughts of the host were beginning to infuriate me. I had one arm on the small of Bella's back as I guided her through the tables and the other hand was clenched into a tight fist. Bella sensed the tension in me and looked up at me questioningly. I just shook my head and nodded in the direction of the host. Comprehension dawned and Bella smiled softly and shook her head.

He led us to a table in the back that was close to the one that we had sat at the first time.

"Your wait person will be out soon to take your order. Have a good meal." He said, his eyes never leaving Bella.

"Thank you." I said shortly and he quickly departed.

I was watching him weave his way back through the tables when I heard Bella laugh softly.

"What?" I said.

"The look on your face." She said, still laughing softly. "You look like you want to dismember him or something." She shook her head, smiling at me.

"Humph. Well you did not have to hear what he was thinking about you. You would not be laughing then." I said crossly.

She giggled at my disgruntled expression. "It is just funny being on this side of things. Usually I have to sit back and watch as every female in a fifty foot radius ogles you."

I smiled. "I only have eyes for you though. I don't even notice anymore. Especially when you are with me."

She laughed. "Edward Cullen you have officially cornered the market on 'sweetest-things-to-say-to-your-date'.

Our waiter arrived then and I had to listen to his thoughts as he openly admired Bella as well. Of course she was exceptionally beautiful and I could not blame them for their appreciation of her beauty but they acted as if I wasn't even sitting here! I would have been even more irate if not for the fact that Bella did not even notice. All her attention was on me, a fact that did not go unnoticed by our waiter.

_What does she see in _that _guy? _ Our waiter thought. _He is too…pretty. I bet he's gay and is using her as a cover. No _real_ man is that pretty. The way she is staring at him I bet she doesn't even know. Maybe I should slip her my number and then I can console her when he comes out of the closet._

I rolled my eyes. This guy was completely pathetic. I blocked his thoughts before he could spew any more nonsense.

"Bella, are you ready to order?" I asked softly.

She looked up from her menu and smiled. "If we are going to do this right I am going to order the mushroom ravioli. We can share it like we did last time." Her eyes were dancing with merriment. We had found that it was easier to order one entrée and "share" it rather than face questions about why I was at a restaurant and not ordering anything.

"Two Cokes and one order of mushroom ravioli please. With two plates." I told the waiter. He was engrossed with watching Bella and I cleared my throat to get his attention.

"O-oh yes, of course. I'll have that right out." He turned and walked away.

We sat as we waited for our order, discussing the concert. Her food arrived soon after and she looked at me before beginning to eat.

"So…tell me more about your younger days." Bella said. "What was it like to live through the thirties and forties and fifties?" Her eyes were sparkling with curiosity.

I began to tell her about some of the things that I had seen during those times, people I'd met but I soon found my attention divided.

I was being tormented, tortured. I was being brought to the very edge of madness and before I could topple over the edge I was snatched back to sanity. Only to have the same cycle repeated again and again. And the worst part was my tormentor had no idea of the torture she was inflicting.

I watched as Bella took one of her slender fingers and drew it softly up and down her neck as she listened to my stories. She was watching me as I spoke and I was watching her fingers softly caress the skin on her neck. I had to shake myself mentally to be able to finish my story. Fortunately Bella did not notice my hesitation. I continued to tell her more about my past, my facial expressions masking the turmoil that raged within me.

I was mesmerized as Bella traced her collarbone with the tips of her soft fingers. She was enthralled with my stories and seemed to not even notice as she dragged her fingers across her skin. I almost came undone as she drew a swirling pattern in the hollow of her throat. I could hear the sounds of her fingertips as they glided across the satin of her skin. _My_ skin. I had claimed every inch of her throat, her shoulders as my own. I knew every dip, every hollow. I had explored them all.

I knew that when I kissed her on the delicate skin below her ear she would shiver in pleasure. I knew exactly how sweet the taste of her skin was when I would dip my tongue into the silky hollow of her throat. I knew that when I traced the elegant column of her neck with the tip of my nose she would sigh softly and bury her hands into my hair.

I had to resist the urge to draw her into my lap and bury my face in the fragrant skin at the base of her throat. We were in a restaurant for goodness sake. I doubt Bella would forgive me for attempting to ravish her in a public place.

My fingers itched to touch her though. I could feel my body vibrate with the need to feel her soft skin beneath my fingers. Not being able to do so made the torment that much more agonizing. And just when I thought I could take no more, that I would give into the urge to snatch her up into my arms-Bella would stop. She would take a drink of her Coke or a bite of her food or simply rest her hands on the table as I told her about parts of my past. Then after a few moments she would begin again.

I was not sure how I made it through the rest of her meal without completely losing my composure. Every time Bella touched her skin with her fingers I wanted them to be my fingers. I wanted it to be my touch. I wanted to hear her breath catch in pleasure and hear her sigh my name in her sweet voice. I managed to hold on, but only just.

The waiter came to give us the bill in a small leather envelope and I immediately slipped some money into it and gave it back.

"No change." I said brusquely. I needed to get out of the restaurant, now. I vaguely heard the waiter, and then the host as well, tell us to have a good evening but I was not paying them any attention. My focus was on the beautiful woman at my side.

We made it to the car before I could stand it no longer. Bella walked to the passenger side door but instead of reaching to open it for her I reached for her instead. I turned her until her back was against the still-closed door and put my hands on the car behind her, effectively caging her with my arms.

She looked surprised for a moment and opened her mouth to speak but before she could utter a word I pressed my lips to hers.

I could taste the sweet flavor of the Coke on her mouth mixed with the intoxicating flavor that was _Bella_. Her warm soft lips moved with my cool ones and her fingers moved up into my hair, her nails scratching my scalp softly. I could feel a rumble in my chest and realized that I was _purring_. Bella seemed to enjoy it as her kisses became more urgent against my lips. I could not resist the temptation as I bent my head into the tantalizing skin on her neck and shoulders. I kissed her beneath her ear, feeling the shiver that I loved provoking in her. I ran my tongue softly up her neck, savoring the irresistible flavor of her skin. She sighed and whispered my name and I lifted my head to plant a kiss on her swollen lips.

I brought my hands to her shoulders, tracing her collarbones with my thumbs as my lips caressed hers. I could feel the supple texture of her skin beneath my fingers as I traced the line of her throat. I was become more and more lost in her allure by the second.

Loud voices behind me broke me out of the spell that Bella had weaved around me. I realized that I had pressed myself completely against Bella and she in turn was being pressed back against my car.

I stepped back, holding on to Bella's shoulders as her knees seemed to give out. I laid my forehead against hers as I took several unnecessary deep breaths.

"Wow." Was all Bella said.

"Mmm-hmm." I was incapable of real speech for a moment.

She was smiling up at me and her eyes were wide and sparkling. Her cheeks were the luscious pink I loved.

I ran my fingers down her flushed cheeks.

"I could watch you blush forever." I said softly.

"If you keep kissing me like that you might get your wish." She said, laughing softly.

"Hmmm, the idea has its merits." I said, bending to brush my lips against hers.

I reached behind her to open the door to the car and helped her inside.

We had driven for a little while before Bella spoke.

"Thank you for sharing your life experiences with me Edward. I appreciate the glimpse into your past. I love learning about your life. You will have to tell me more about yourself and the things that you have experienced. You know how much I love history." She giggled.

I smiled at her indulgently. "Of course. I think you would have fit in well back when I was human. You are so much more mature than any of your peers and I think that would have stood you in good stead back then. Plus I would not have had to wait so long to meet you." I grinned at her.

She laughed. "Yes an extra eighty or ninety odd years would have been nice but we can start making up for that now."

"I'm looking forward to that." I said, raising her hand to my lips.

The rest of the drive was spent with Bella asking me questions about the various decades I had lived through and I would answer her to the best of my ability. I was still distracted by her. She was so beautiful. That word was not enough. She was so much more than beautiful. Stunning, gorgeous, magnificent; even these were not sufficient. I would have to come up with a new word. She was everything I never knew I needed and everything I could ever want and more. She was simply _Bella._

We pulled into the garage at my house and I got out to open her door for her. I led her into the house and she noticed how quiet it was.

"Where is everyone?" She asked, looking around.

"I believe that they all went hunting." I said. I sent a thank you to Esme for giving us this time to ourselves.

"Oh, so it is just you and me?" She asked.

"Yes. Would you like to watch a movie or something before going to sleep?" I asked. It was too early to go to bed and I wanted to prolong this perfect night as long as possible.

"Sure, but can we watch on the TV in your room? I don't want to nod off downstairs." She said.

"Of course. Why don't I pick the movie and you can go upstairs and change into something more comfortable. Call me when you are ready." In the state I was in I did not need to catch her almost naked again.

"Alright. See you in a minute then." She reached up on her toes and kissed me on the lips before making her way upstairs.

I quickly picked a movie and then spent the next few minutes waiting rather impatiently for Bella to finish changing. Finally she called down to me and I practically flew upstairs.

Only to find myself brought up short in the doorway.

She was trying to kill me. There was no other explanation. Nothing else could account for this.

Bella was sitting on my bed, her back propped up on a few pillows against the headboard. She had taken her hair down and it flowed around her shoulders like chocolate silk. But what had really drawn my attention, what had brought me to a complete standstill was what she was wearing.

Those damned blue pajamas. Did she know what they did to me? The satiny material whispered over her body and the color made her skin luminous in the soft light of the lamp on my bedside table. How would I get through this tonight? I already was hanging by a thread as it was.

I moved into my closet and changed into a t-shirt and pajama pants. I walked back into the bedroom and put the movie in the DVD player. I sat beside Bella on the bed and she immediately curled into me. I felt her soft breasts pressed against my chest through the thin silk of her top and her leg intertwined with mine as she rested her head on my shoulder to watch the movie. I had to close my eyes for a moment to regain my composure. I put my hand on Bella's back and realized my mistake immediately. Her pajama top had ridden up when she wrapped herself around me and instead of silk underneath my hand I felt Bella's warm soft skin. She tensed for only a fraction of a second before relaxing deeper into my arms.

I gently traced a pattern on the small of her back, testing my control. It was surprisingly easier than I thought. Touching Bella had become natural for me and this was no different. At least that is what I told myself.

We watched the movie for a while, though I could not tell you what happened in it. My attention was all on Bella. She started tracing patterns on my stomach through my shirt and I felt my muscles clench from the contact. She looked up to find me watching her. Her luscious pink lips were so close to mine and I succumbed to the temptation they offered.

I could never get over how sweet her lips were. They molded themselves with mine perfectly, moving in synchronization with my own. I slipped my tongue out and ran it across her lips. She responded by pulling my bottom lip into her mouth, her teeth grazing across my skin. I felt my body quicken immediately and I turned more fully into the kiss, my fingers tunneling into the shiny mass of her hair. My fingers cradled her skull, holding her in my kiss and her arms wrapped around my neck. She pressed herself into me and grasped my hair, tugging slightly. Bella leaned back, pulling me with her until she was on her back and I was laying half on top of her. She kept one hand in my hair and the other traced the column of my spine up and down. Her hand dipped underneath my shirt and she ran her fingers across my skin. Her warm fingers sent tingles up and down my spine.

I broke away from her mouth, my lips finding her throat and I pressed open mouthed kisses to her delectable skin. She tilted her head to give me better access and I moved my hands to her shoulders, my thumbs gliding over the skin that had been tempting me all night.

Bella whispered my name as my lips found her ear, my tongue flicking across her earlobe. She pulled her hand from my hair and reached up and took my hand. I was distracted by the sweet hollow beneath her ear and did not notice what she was doing until it was too late.

I felt something soft and warm beneath my fingers and raised my head. I looked down to see my hand resting on her left breast. Her hand was on top of mine, holding my hand there. My eyes flew to Bella's and she was smiling encouragingly. She nodded to me and I flexed my fingers experimentally. She arched her back and I felt her nipple tauten in my palm, pressing through the silk of her top. I gasped at the sensation.

"It's okay Edward, you can do this." She whispered.

"Bella, I-I-don't want to hurt you." I whispered back.

"You won't Edward. I'll show you what to do, how to touch me. It's okay. Please, just touch me." She said, her expression pleading.

I looked into her eyes and saw nothing but trust and love. I decided then that I could do this. I wanted to do this. Baby steps. I nodded my head hesitantly and Bella smiled beautifically.

She wrapped her fingers in mine and closed them around her breast. Her supple skin moved beneath my fingers and I watch in fascination as her skin gave at my slightest touch. I was amazed at the amount of pressure she applied with my fingers. I would have thought it would be too much but she was encouraging me to press harder still with my fingers.

She pulled her hand away from mine and I continued to mold her breast in the palm of my hand. My thumb brushed across her taut nipple and she hissed and arched even more into my hand. Her face was contorted with pleasure, her eyes scrunched shut. She was gorgeous. I wanted to see that face again and so I repeated the motions of my fingers, this time drawing the pert peak between my thumb and forefinger. She moaned aloud and giving into impulse I bent my head and took her into my mouth.

It was amazing. I could taste the sweet/salty skin on my tongue, even through the silk and I rolled my tongue around her taut flesh. She lifted almost completely off the bed, her hands digging into my hair, holding me against her.

Emboldened, I slid my hand down her torso and slipped my hand underneath her top. The skin of her stomach was pure silk under my fingers and I drew soft circles on it before cautiously allowing my hand to drift upwards. My searching fingers found her breast and molded themselves around it, gently kneading as my lips and tongue continued to caress her nipple.

Bella's hands left my hair and moved down to the hem of her camisole top, drawing it upwards. I lifted my head as I registered her intent. I looked into her eyes, questioning her with my own and she nodded, a soft smile playing on her lips. I reluctantly removed my hand from her soft skin and reached down to help her pull the cloth up. She raised her arms and I pulled the top up over her head and tossed it to the floor. I looked back at her and felt all the breath being sucked from my body.

She was exquisite. Her skin was gleaming in the soft light and her hair fanned out like a cloud against the pillow. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkled with love and passion. I looked down and saw her bare breasts before me and took a deep unnecessary breath to steady myself.

Perfect. That was the only word that came to my passion clouded mind. Her skin was the color of fresh cream and the peaks of her breasts were rosy and taut. I looked up to see her watching me watch her. Her hands found my shirt and she tugged upwards.

"It's only fair." She said, giggling softly.

I smiled back at her and quickly divested myself of my shirt. I sat beside her, resting on my heels and she sat up in front of me, mirroring my posture.

I closed my eyes when she tentatively reached out to run her hands across my shoulders. Her tiny fingers traced my muscles before trailing down my arms, wrapping around my biceps and forearms. She drew her fingers back up and dragged her open hand down my shoulders, outlining my pectoral muscles before decending lower to the contours of my stomach.

I opened my eyes to see her watching me with the same wonder I knew was mirrored in my eyes. I mimicked her motions, tracing her shoulders and arms before sliding my hands down and cupping her soft breasts in my hands. They filled my palms perfectly, as though made for my hands and I kneaded them gently, using the pressure she had shown me she liked.

She tilted her head back and arched into my touch. Her neck was exposed to me and I bent to kiss and nuzzle it as my hands and fingers worked on her breasts. I kissed lower and lower until closing my mouth once again over her nipple.

Delectable. Even more so now without the boundary of clothes. I kissed and suckled at her skin, nipping at her with my lips before switching and giving her other breast the same treatment. I gently pushed her back down onto the bed, my body half covering hers. Her fingers gripped my shoulders and her nails dug into my flesh as I continued my ministrations.

"Oh Edward." She breathed.

I lifted my head and looked at her. Her lips with parted in passion and I could not resist tasting her lips once more. I traced her bottom lip with my tongue and she surprised me by slipping her own out to touch mine. I froze for a moment.

"Bella, be careful." I admonished softly.

"It's okay Edward. It tingles a little but that's all. I think it will be okay." She said quietly.

I was not completely certain but I had to trust that she would tell me if my venom had any adverse affects.

I resumed kissing her, this time our tongues intertwining. I dipped into her mouth and was astonished at how soft her mouth was. I ran my hands up and down her torso, my fingers stopping over and over at her perfect breasts. She responded in kind, her hands roaming across my skin. Her fingers stopped on my chest and she pinched my nipple and the sensation was so powerful I came undone.

All the passion I had been holding in erupted and I pressed fervently against her mouth, my fingers stroking and pulling at her breasts. I rolled so that my body almost completely covered hers, my mouth ravaging hers. She ran her hands up and down my back, her nails scratching at my skin. I felt the same rumble in my chest as before and she responded to the purring noise with greater passion, molding her breasts against my hard chest. Her skin was so hot against my icy flesh and I wanted to draw her closer. I felt myself falling over the edge of my control as I wrapped my arms around her, drawing her up off the bed. One arm cradled the nape of her neck and the other snaked down to grasp her bottom, pulling her into me. She felt my very aroused state and whimpered into my mouth.

The sound brought me back to a semblance of reality. Baby steps, I thought. I was ready to take her then and there and knew I had to get myself back under control. Neither of us was quite ready for the next step.

I gently released my grip on her, lowering her back to the bed and keeping our chests flush against each others. I pulled my hands from around her back and rested them on her soft firm breasts. I was amazed at how natural it felt to touch her where just a few days before I would have balked at even the thought of touching her, much less seeing her topless.

I gentled my kisses while I continued to stroke her skin softly. Eventually I drew my lips from her and rested my forehead against hers. We were both breathing heavily and it took me a few moments to regain control of myself.

"Bella." I said when I finally found the ability to speak again. "We have to stop. I think I have pushed my control as far as I dare to tonight."

She nodded against my forehead. "I understand. Thank you." She whispered.

I drew back in surprise and looked into her still-passion-clouded eyes.

"Thank me? I should be the one thanking you." I said, half laughing. "Thank you for your trust in me." I bent and brushed my lips against hers.

"Well thank you for trusting yourself. I knew you could do it." She grinned at me. I groaned and buried my head in the crook of her neck.

"I swear you will be the death of me, Bella." I said, kissing her neck.

She laughed softly, causing other parts of her to shake enticingly. I had to get her dressed again before I lost all of my self control.

I drew back gently and slipped off the bed. I found her pajama top where I had tossed it and handed it to her. She blushed prettily as she put it on and I was amazed again at the paradox she always presented to me. She was innocent and seductive, steel hearted and incredibly gentle, sweetly unassuming and yet confident in her own way. I doubted I would ever understand the enigma she was and I found myself not wanting to. She was perfect, made just for me and I loved it.

I left my shirt off and climbed back onto the bed. She crawled under the covers and curled herself around me again. I laughed softly when she yawned against me.

"Ok, sleep time for the human."

She looked up at me and kissed me gently.

"I love you Edward Cullen."

"I love you Bella Swan."


End file.
